The movie finished and I looked around the plane. The cabin was dark, besides the flickering lights of other people watching movies. I turned my screen to the flight information, looking at the plane’s path. We were about half way to home. I looked over at my son and husband, both fast asleep, and I was envious of their ability to sleep anywhere. I took out my phone and scrolled through my pics of our vacation. After a few minutes, I put my phone down and noticed Jake’s phone was on the tray table. I picked it up, unlocked it, and went to his picture gallery. I went through his pics, looking for a few pics I knew he took at some of the temples and tourist spots we visited. He had taken some really nice pics and selfies on the trip, and I was happy that I looked decent in most of them, but it didn’t take long for me to notice a weird pattern. At first it was innocent and I smiled at the amount of pictures there were of me, happy that he loved me that much. Then I noticed this weird picture.
The picture was of my breasts, covered by my bikini top, apparently zoomed in from a little distance. Then there was a series of pictures of me leaning forward that caught my attention. You could clearly see down my top, my breasts mostly exposed. I stopped and looked over at Jake, still asleep, and I quickly scrolled to the beginning of the gallery. The pictures that I thought were innocent before, took a different meaning now. There were pictures of me bending over, my ass clearly in view, and a lot of pictures of me in my bikini, laying on the beach. Around the rental house, I noticed some shots that I had first thought were just of the house, but had me in the background. I got to the place where I stopped browsing before, of the pics down my top, and noticed a few more very questionable shots. There were a few that were clearly taken under the table, trying to get some upskirt shots, and then there was a series of pictures that made me catch my breath.
I remember the night the pictures were taken, well most of it. We had come back to the rental and continued drinking. We had been drinking most of the day, the three of us. Tom and I were the ones doing most of the drinking, while lounging at the beach, and Jake would take sips, or gulps, from my cup from time to time. My parental philosophy was to raise Jake the way I wished I was raised. I was always open and honest with him. I told him the truth about most things and was open to him experimenting with drinking and drugs, as long as he talked to me first. I didn’t mind him getting drunk with us, and there were many times when he did. He learned to take things in moderation, even though Tom and I didn’t always. So, when we stumbled home after dinner and continued to drink, I didn’t think twice about Jake having a few glasses as well. His father didn’t always approve, but that was something that increased the bond between Jake and I. That night, we played cards for a bit and when Tom fell asleep on the couch, I stumbled to bed and passed out, almost immediately. I remembered bit and pieces of Tom changing me out of my day clothes at some point and that was about it, but the pictures told a different story. My mouth was agape as I saw a pic of me, laying passed out on the bed, topless. The next one of me just in my panties. The next one completely naked. The next one a close up of a finger touching my pussy and another one of the finger partially inside me. The last one was a pic an erect cock next to me.
I looked around the cabin quickly, to make sure no one could see the pictures, and then back at the phone in disbelief. I closed the app and placed his phone back on the tray, not sure what to do next. I couldn’t make a scene on the plane. I was so furious. Why did he have those pictures? Why would he do that to me? I was too upset to do anything but obsess over the reasons and what I was going to do about it. I had no answers by the time we landed and drove home. I used the excused that I was tired when Tom asked about my mood.
The next night, Jake was out late with friends. I waited for him to get home, finishing most of a bottle of wine. I thought I’d ask to see his phone and then “accidently” stumble on the pics and ask him about it. Jake came in and kissed me on the cheek.
“Night mom.” He smiled.
“Jake, wait. Can I see your phone, I want to see the pictures from the trip.”
He handed me his phone without hesitation and I opened the gallery and flipped through the pictures. Most of the pictures were gone. The inappropriate ones definitely were gone but a lot of just the random pictures of me were too. I didn’t know what to say. I just couldn’t leave it alone, so I asked him to sit down on at the table with me.
“Is this all your pics?” I started. “I was looking for one in particular that I thought you took. Did you delete any?”
“Nope.” He smiled, not looking nervous at all.
“Oh, that’s weird,” I sprung my ah-ha moment on him. “Because on the plane, I definitely saw the pictures I wanted to discuss with you.”
“I don’t know what you’re saying.” He said, turning immediately red and averting his gaze.
“Choose.” I demanded in a stern voice. “You can talk open and honestly with me or we can do this the hard way.”
“I’m sorry.” He said, the look of terror in his eyes. “I never meant for you…”
“For me to what? See them? Find out? How could you?” I interrupted, angrily.
“Yes, I’m sorry.”
“I get it, you’re a young man and you’re curious, but we’ve talked about sex and talked about women, and no part of the conversation did I say it was ok for you to take nudes of them while they were passed out. In fact, EVERYTHING I’ve taught you has been the exact opposite. I get you being curious, but how could you do that to me?”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s not good enough Jake, explain yourself.” I demanded, finishing the rest of the wine.
“I can’t, you’ll hate me and get mad.”
“I’m already mad. Tell me the truth or you’ll see me furious!” I yelled, but not loud enough for Tom to hear.
“Ok, I’m sorry. I saw you and I wanted to know what you looked like fully naked and then I just couldn’t stop myself. It was wrong, I know, I just couldn’t stop. Something just took over me. I was drunk. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” He never looked at me but kept his eyes on the ground.
“What about all the other pics you took of me during the trip that aren’t here anymore?” I lifted up his phone. “What about those? Why do you take those?”
“I just took those, I don’t know, to have.” He said.
“Where are they?”
“Hidden folder.”
“Show me.” I demanded as I pushed the phone into his shoulder.
He took it and handed it back to me and there I was confronted with a large gallery of photos of me in various states of dressed and undressed. I got up and put his phone in my pocket and got the rum from the cabinet and poured two glasses of rum and coke and handed Jake one. He finished it before I even sat down.
“I’ll need the full explanation now please.” I said softly.
“It’s too embarrassing. Can I just take the punishment?” he begged, still not looking at me.
“If you want us to fix, and maintain, the relationship we had before, I’m going to need the full explanation.” I said honestly, not sure if there was a way to fix the disappointment I felt.
He grabbed my drink and downed that too. I got up and poured another drink for myself as he started to explain. He told me that it started about a year ago, when his friends started making comments about how I looked. He said it didn’t help that I never wore a bra and that all his friends noticed. Then one day they were talking about women and one of his friends showed him a pic of a woman from the neck down and he agreed that she had a nice body. They all laughed because it was a pic that one of them took of me. He said, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get that thought out of his head. He started to see me as a woman, not just his mother. He told me how the guys paid him to get some pics of me, so he did, but all of them were innocent, like on a day I wore a more revealing outfit or pics of my ass.
Then he stopped and asked if he could stop but I insisted he continued to explain, truthfully. He continued and told me how someone offered him 50$ to take a pic that showed more than just me in hot outfits. For days he snuck around trying to get a shot and then one day I was sunbathing topless and didn’t know he was home, so he took the pic. Then he said some things that I wasn’t fully ready to hear. He sheepishly explained how after he took the picture, he couldn’t stop looking at it and that something changed in him. He didn’t see his mom but a hot woman and then he got aroused.
“Did you masturbate to me?” the alcohol and curiosity took over.
“Mom please…” he looked at me for the first time and then right back down to the ground.
“Did you?” I insisted
“Yes.” He put his forehead on the table. “I didn’t want anyone else to have any picture of you after that.”
He continued to tell me how he got so confused and that he couldn’t talk to me about it, even though he really wanted to. He tried to stop thinking of me that way and it would work for a little while but not for long. He then started watching mother/son porn. He explained how he tried for months to get me out of his mind that way, but he couldn’t. He just found himself trying to catch glimpses of my breasts and vagina. How he would try to “accidently” catch me naked but most of the time he just chickened out. I sat in silence and just listened.
“Then the other night, I was drunk and went to see where you went and you were face down on the bed. I tried to wake you but you wouldn’t wake up. I stupidly thought that I could put you in your night shirt and put you to bed but when I took off your shirt, I don’t know, I lost control. I touched your breasts for the first time. It was something I had wanted to do for so long, I just couldn’t stop. I took a few pics for later and that was going to be it, but then I removed your panties. I have never seen a woman’s vagina before, in real life, and I just wanted to see it, then feel it. I’m soooo sorry. I know you hate me for it but I just couldn’t stop. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” He started to cry.
I was conflicted, there was so many things in this story that was inappropriate but I opted to be forgiving and hopefully be able to help him correct, and improve, his behavior. I moved to him and put my arms around him, lifting him up so I could hug him while he wept. After a few minutes, I got up and got him the box of tissues.
“You, young man, are grounded for a month from electronics. Not only that, but you have to earn my trust back and that means we’re going to continue to discuss this until you can correct this behavior.” I told him kindly as he nodded.
“I’ll never do it again.” He promised.
“I know, but it will take time to earn back my trust and I’m going to need you to do that for me, ok?”
He agreed and got up and left. I walked to the couch and just sat there, taking in all that I just heard. I knew that young men sometimes look towards their mom sexually and I had seen him looking at me from time to time, but I was naive to believe it was all innocent. I opened his phone again and looked through the folder. There were so many pictures that I was unaware that he took and a part of me was ashamed at myself for the way I tempted him. There were a ton of pictures of me in my tank tops, where you could clearly see the outline of my breasts and nipple poking through. I had never given it any thought, I hardly ever wore a bra, since I was young. I had so wanted to be the opposite of my parents that I grew up free, wearing whatever I wanted, not caring what was exposed, but clearly it was having consequences on my son.
Jake was always a bit awkward with girls and we had talked about how all his friends had lost their virginity and how he hadn’t. How he just felt awkward around girls. I missed the subtle hints of his attraction when he told me how he liked older women, women with breasts like mine, and how he just wished someone would just take him and show him how to please her. Then all the times he had asked me how to please a woman, what he was supposed to do, say, where to put his hands, things like that. I foolishly thought it was just a son’s love for his mom when he offered to put suntan lotion on me during our trip, or the countless times he’d give me back or feet massages. It must have been so frustrating for him to listen to me talk about how attractive someone was or how I’d have sex with this actor or that actress, and especially the times I told him about how masturbation was natural and how I did it all the time.
I casually flipped through the pictures as I thought it all over, noticing how difficult it must have been for him to take some of the shots, without me noticing. The pics down my shirt or up my skirt. I wondered how many of these he shared and how many of them he masturbated to. I saw the topless one of me in our backyard, clearly taken through the window. That was one of a handful of times I had done that and for him to have seen me was embarrassing. How conflicting it must have been for him, to look at the picture and feel his cock get hard. To look at this picture and feel the need to stroke his cock, pretending his hand was my hand, or my pussy. I wondered what he fantasized about while he stroked himself, and what he wanted to do and how he would do it. Suddenly I noticed that my pussy was wet and my clit started to tingle and get hard. My thoughts became more about how he thought about taking me and less about how wrong the situation was. I moved to the picture of me in the bed. How nervous and excited he must have been. I stopped on the last picture of him holding his cock next to me. His cock looked nice, maybe a little shorter than his father’s, but it was hard to tell from the picture. It did look thicker. It would have been difficult for me to tell the difference, if he had been overly bold and done more that night. His father and I have an active sex life, but it’s never as often as I want it, and that night I had been disappointed that Tom fell asleep on the couch. Maybe a part of me wouldn’t have minded if Jake crossed that line. That thought snapped me back to reality.
“What am I thinking?” I wondered and then realized that I was actively masturbating while staring at Jake’s cock. My fingers were wet from my own juices and I had been rubbing my clit. I wasn’t even aware I was doing it until that very moment.
“Holy Shit!” I said out loud. “What the fuck am I doing?” I mumbled as I buttoned up my jeans and went to bed.