e "Great Men of History" theory has lost popularity recently, but not in my extended family. You see many, perhaps most of the truly great men of history were probably my kin. That's because of the curse. If one of those "Great Men, or Great Women" were childless, or left a child that wasn't even a pale imitation of the great parent, the odds are very good that they were in my blood line. I know for a fact that Alexander the Great and George Washington are my kin. 'The Mule' in Asimov's great work The Foundation Trilogy has to be based on one of my siblings.

 

I've just begun to study the curse, but have verified a few facts. All children born of "THE CURSED ONE" will be born sterile. My brother won the prize for his work in testicular cancer. His study wasn't altruistic. He was born with "immature testes syndrome." What that means is that his physical development was normal, but he didn't produce sperm. The sperm generator just never got started, same thing for his vas ducts, they weren't there. The vas duct might have been fixed by surgery, vasectomies are reversed routinely these days, but it wouldn't have made a difference. Like all my half sisters, I've been born with immature ovaries. We all seem to have a great love of children, and... it's very painful.

 

The exception is the cursed one. My current theory is that some enzyme is released as a cursed one dies. Somehow, that enzyme is absorbed by the child who kills him, probably through the blood. That enzyme triggers the development of the testes, and voila, a new Cursed One is created. Does it sound strange that one mutation could be transmitted through so many generations? Well, think about it, every single ancestor of every single living human lived long enough to pass along his or her genes or... you get the point.

 

There's just so much I don't yet understand about the process. Why is The Cursed One driven to mate with so many different women? Why do the women he mates with begin to hate him almost as soon as they become pregnant? Why do all his male children go into a homicidal rages in his presence?

 

I sure it is biological, but I'm also positive that it's nothing like a pheromones or some sort of mind control. The Cursed One is THE Alpha Male and people react to that. If all my siblings are literally THE one in approximately one hundred twenty-seven million, the Cursed One is so far beyond us as to be literally incalculable.

 

I know how that sounds, but let me tell you about the current Cursed One. He's too modest to tout his own achievements, but let me list a few before he became The One. He was a world class athlete. He was offered multi-million dollar professional contracts in soccer, basketball and baseball as soon as he finished high school. He was considered the top college football recruit in the country. Each year there are only three or four high school seniors who score a perfect 1600 on the SAT college entrance exams, my brother was one of them, but he did it as a junior, a year early.

 

He chose to go to the US Military Academy at West Point where he graduated first in his class. He fought in the last two wars and became the most decorated hero in US Army history, surpassing the great Audy Murphy. Yes, Col Brown is The Cursed One! At the time he resigned his commission, he was the youngest full colonel in the Army. He left to become tenured in only two years at Rice University, one of the top ten schools in the country. Oh, and by the way, he is without a doubt the best looking man anyone has ever seen. He was absolutely charming, a moral paragon, incredibly funny, and his voice would earn him a starting role in any opera company in the world. Even before he became THE Cursed One, he could have almost any woman in the world to have his children, now...

 

Col Arlan Brown:

 

Call me cursed. I would gladly trade with Ishmael on the hunt for Moby Dick. Hell, I'd trade places with Ahab. I'd even trade places with Oedipus, whose story is a lot closer to mine. I hadn't a clue who my father was. I'm almost certain my mother never knew his name. I was conceived less than five minutes after they met. No, my mother wasn't raped, nor was I the product of a commercial transaction, my mother was an intact virgin when they met. I was conceived in my mother's virgin's blood, born bloody, and became what I am because I was infected by my father's blood as he died.

 

Unlike Oedipus, I didn't marry my mother, I never got to know her. She was killed in an airliner crash before my third birthday. She was almost nineteen when she died, which makes her sound like some sort of besotted teen, but she wasn't. Even pregnant with me, she managed to graduate first in her class at a prestigious, and very expensive private school. She applied to Harvard, and was flying home from Boston, triumphant, after her interview when her plane crashed. I was raised by my grandparents. My Pops was the best dad a man ever had! I had an aunt/half sister who was a few weeks younger than me. Neither of my grandparents got a good look at my father's face. He just waltzed into their hotel suite conceived my sister/aunt, then conceived me, and left without saying goodbye. They didn't call the police. No one ever told me about that night, until after the bombing. I wish they'd explained it to me, it might have saved innocent men psychic trauma.

 

I know I sound cryptic, but that's not my intention... I guess the easiest way to explain is to tell you my story. My grandparents were wealthy even before the settlement from the airline. My grandfather, Pops, made his fortune as a land developer/home builder. I had an exceptionally good childhood and early adulthood. I joined the Army right out of high school and loved it. I had the world by the tail and I was the envy of every man, until my marriage fell apart at age thirty-five.

 

I had married a breathtakingly beautiful woman I'd met at a West Point dance my final year. It was only after our second date that I learned her brains were more impressive than her body. Although she was almost two years younger than me, she was just finishing her MBA at Harvard! She was the other half of my heart, and she loved me almost more than life. To this day, especially to this day, I can't say a single negative thing about her. Except, perhaps she should have been a shade less loyal. I wouldn't trade all DeBeers' diamonds for a single day of our marriage, but I wish she'd left me a few years sooner. She would have been happier that way.

 

Why did our marriage fail? It was my fault. No, I never cheated on her, even after the heat of the battlefield when the urge is so strong that infidelity shouldn't count. I loved her too much. She was the only woman I'd been with and I wanted it to stay that way. Our marriage failed over our children... more correctly, the lack of them.

 

After years of trying, we began to have tests. She was embarrassing fertile, she could have gotten pregnant from a men's room toilet seat. I was shooting blanks. I had more testosterone than the whole French army, navy and air force combined, but the sperm generator was "immature". My wife was loyal, she begged me to adopt, but I couldn't stand the idea of raising a child that wasn't mine. Ironic huh, but that's part of the curse too.

 

My most noble act during the noble part of my life was to divorce her while she was still young enough to have kids of her own. If, as the old country-western song goes "one takes the bow the other takes the blame," I did my best to take all the blame. I told her that I'd fallen for another woman. I offered her all my worldly goods as a settlement but she refused. She fought the divorce tooth and nail, even after I produced an exceptionally skuzzy woman I claimed was my true love. Hell, even after the divorce I couldn't even get hard for another woman, what irony.

 

Right after the divorce, I resigned my commission, I took a job as a teacher. I wanted to give back, and be around young people. If I couldn't have my own children, I wanted to leave my mark by my influence on others'. I think that's part of the curse too.

 

It was a good if quiet life. I had more money than I could spend. My grandparents had both died leaving only my "aunt" and me to split their fortune. I didn't know that aunt was my half sister at that time, although she did. She knew the whole story, because she'd gotten itfrom Pop just before he died. She said Pops was trying to shield me. That was one of Pops few errors in judgment.

 

The night it happened, I was walking home from campus, after the party to celebrate my gaining tenure. I was a little too 'happy' to drive, but my house wasn't far from the school. I was walking past the ROTC building when I sensed a man behind me. Furious, I whirled just fast enough to get knifed in the lung instead of the heart. Because of my history, I have a concealed handgun permit. Somehow, while he repeatedly stabbed me, I drew my gun, shoved it into his chest and shot him. He pulled me down with him, and I lost my gun as I hit the ground. We were both covered in blood and when his mingled with mine, my world changed. A wave of energy nauseated me, and I passed out in a pool of my own vomit.

 

I didn't see him stagger to his car, smash it into the ROTC building and explode. The explosives in the car destroyed the building, his body and made the whole thing look like the work of a suicide bomber. The "car bomb" was his contingency to cover his identity in case his attack on me failed. He didn't want the police to suspect that the man I'd killed was my father.

 

I awoke in the hospital hooked to more tubes and wires than a whole room full of computer servers. A dozen monitors beeped and chirped in a syncopated cacophony of alarm. I felt weak as a kitten and preternaturally alert. More alarms and bells blared, and staff materialized like characters beamed from a Star Trek rip off.

 

They spoke medicalese to each other, not exactly ignoring me, but too excited to pay much attention to me. I tried to force someone to talk to me, was immediately enveloped by fatigue and drifted back off to sleep.

 

When I awoke the second time, I wasn't as weak, but I was dead dog tired. Bushed! I was also hungrier than I'd been in my whole life. The alarms had been reduced by an order of magnitude, but still more than enough to summon an army of medical personnel. This time there were security types with them. They didn't look like regular police, more like FBI.

 

The medical types were even more absorbed by the -- what ever their instruments were telling them, than last time. The agents eyed me with that lean and hungry look that so bothered Caesar.

 

The one closest to my bed asked the stunningly obviuos, "Are you awake Colonel? Do you know where you are?"

 

I tried to speak, but my throat was too dry, only croaking sounds came out.

 

Finally, I managed to whisper, "Food."

 

One of the younger female medical types heard me and dashed out of the room. The agent poured me a glass of water, addeda straw and held it up to my mouth. That, was when I discovered that my hands were bound to the bed by those thick leather restraints that hospitals use. Why?

 

The female appeared with a glass of one of those milk-shake diet food supplements and I chugged the whole thing through a straw.

 

Slightly stronger, I said, "Thanks, please sir, more."

 

She laughed and disappeared again.

 

The medical types went crazy pushing the agents out the door, The female appeared again, glanced at all the monitors, as she gave me my second glass. Again I downed it without a pause while she studied a monitor over my head that I couldn't see. She barked an order that sounded like a series of chemical compounds, and several of the staff left turbulence wakes as they hustled to obey.

 

The young woman, who I'd assumed, in my chauvinist way, was a nurse, turned out to be Dr. Allison Dickson, the head of the whole department. A young orderly appeared with several cans of the diet supplement and a bucket brigade formed as I chugged a dozen cans.

 

Feeling only slightly stronger, I managed, "Where am I, what happened? Why am I still starving?"

 

The last question ledto several orderlies dashing from the room. It also seemed to have exhausted me, and I drifted back to sleep.

 

When I awoke the next time, it was very slowly. I became aware that my throat had some sort of tube crammed down it. Not fully awake, I pulled the thing out. It felt like I'd pulled internal organs with it. I bellowed loud enough to temporarily drown out all the electronic chirps and beeps.

 

I expected the full contingent of medical personal to appear like the genie from the lamp. Instead, Dr. Dickson rose from a chair next to my bed.

 

She looked at my hand, shook her head in awe then asked, "Are you feeling better? Are you still hungry?"

 

I thought about it, realized that I wasn't hungry. I felt different, but not hungry. I checked my hand to see what had surprised her and discovered that it had a torn leather restraint on it.

 

Nodding at the torn restraint she said, "You've been tearing those regularly. We've been contemplating surgery to install a peg. You've gained almost sixtypounds, not that we can see where it's gone. Your body fat percentage has actually gone down. The breakthrough was when you woke up and said you were hungry. No one had noticed you were suffering from extreme malnutrition. Starving to death right before our eyes. You seemed to stabilize an hour or so ago. I think we're over the hump, but we don't have any idea what's caused this. There are some gentlemen from Homeland Security who are very anxious to talk to you, if you feel up to it."

 

Looking at the doctor, I was struck by two thoughts simultaneously, she was beautiful, and she was a younger version of my aunt. More alert, I wondered why I'd thought she wasn't in charge last time. The aura of command radiated on her like sweat on a marathoner. All of that authority was focused with laser intensity on me.

 

Responding to her unasked question, I tried to assessmy physical condition and delivered the succinct line, "I feel funny."

 

She smiled wryly and said, "I'm not surprised. Early on we thought you might have been the target of a terrorist attack and not the ROTC Building. We pumped you full of every type of antibiotic and tranquilizer we thought wouldn't kill you. Not having any idea what we're facing, we gave you everything but the kitchen sink. We'd still like to run some more tests on you. There are other physiological changes that have been going on that we can't explain. Your weight gain being the most obvious. However, the only signs of pathogens have been you lack of energy. "

 

What followed was a week of medical torture, and Homeland Security interrogation. The Homeland people at one point got rather combative. I didn't have any explanation for why a "terrorist" would attack me before blowing himself up in a building. I didn't want anyone to know that I was certain I'd killed my father. I rather thought that was a hallucination and didn't care to undergo a full psychic exam on top of having every orifice prodded and poked. They did pull out most of the tubes and wires, but the tests were never-ending.

 

My first clue tothe curse came on my last day in the hospital as I was waiting to be released. The medical people had reached a dead end and I was going stir crazy. One of the Homeland Security people became belligerent. He was insisting that I must have some idea what my attacker looked like because I had his blood on my gun. I'm not in the habit of lying, and because I was lying, I lost my own temper. When I roared back, the man acted like a defeated cur.

 

The vision scared me, and using some of my service privileges, I demanded that the army medic I summoned escort them from my room. As they left muttering, a 'pink lady'volunteer came in to help me get home. Getting home involved more than a cab ride, since I'd been flown to Walter Reed Army Hospital in Washington D.C. Because of one more foolhardy acts during my Army career, I was entitled to free transportation on military aircraft, so oneof the staff had made arrangements for me to get back home that way.

 

Flying military is a hassle, and I only do it if I'm going to a base for some reason. Since money wasn't a problem, I'd asked for a hospital volunteer who might know something about booking flights to help me.

 

As she walked through the door, the curse erupted. Need drenched every cell of my body. My cock got harder than and diamond edged drill bit, and as thick as a core sample. I was dumbstruck! The woman was very attractive, but not beautiful. She was mid thirties, and looked more like one of those TV moms than a sex sensation. She was dressed modestly, her figure trim, her hair and make-up understated. She was far from the best looking or sexiest woman to enter the room that morning. Several of the nurses and younger doctors who had made a point of calling on me to say good-by, were more attractive. Several of those made sure I knew they were 'available', and left notes on how to contact them. Yet I hadn't reacted like I wanted to rape any of them.

 

The woman couldn't hide her awareness of my reaction to her. Her eyes got wide and for a second, I expected her to run screaming down the hall. Instead, she shocked me. She walked back to the door to my private room, but instead of leaving, she closed it behind her, then leaned against it to lock it, and announced, "I'd planned to stop taking the pill at the end of this cycle."

 

I swallowed hard; I was trembling more violently than during that foolhardy moment I mentioned earlier. Which was the most scared I'd been in my life up to this point. I couldn't speak. I just stared at her.

 

As the silence lengthened she said, "If you don't have to leave town today, you could come to my house tonight."

 

I blinked hard, she looked disappointed but continued, "My daughter is in a wedding tonight, but she'll be home later; you can stay for her if you'd like."

 

She paused again and then pleaded, "Please!"

 

Her eyes never left mine, but I think she saw my erection pulse. I knew she was aware of my musk when she wrinkled her nose. I've always had a strong crotch odor; I'm the guy that "personal deodorants" were designed for. Now it smelled like I hadn't changed underwear in a month.

 

I was embarrassed. I intended to apologize, instead I said, "Get me a rental car and directions to your house. I'll be there at seven." I was flabbergasted that I used my 'command voice.'

 

I hadn't meant to sound so demanding; I just knew that I had to get her out of the room, I was holding on to my control by my finger tips.

 

She gave me a lottery-winner's smile and gushed, "I'm so honored, we'll be ready for you. I'll have a rental here within an hour. I'll have a map to my homein it for you. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

 

She hadn't placed any untoward emphasis on the word "anything" to make it suggestive, but I knew her offer was all inclusive. I waved my hand in dismissal. I wasn't being rude, but the only words I thought I could form were along the lines of, "Turn around, drop your panties and bend over!"

 

When she left, closing the door behind her, I felt my blood pressure drop to normal levels. What didn't drop was my erection, or my awareness of that woman. I pictured her hurrying down the hall, rushing to get me a rental car, using her cell phone to call someone to help her. I hadn't been the only one in that room who needed a personal deodorant. What I didn't know was the curse was the cause.

 

Less than a half hour later a male orderly arrived to help me checkout. It was as smooth as the Army could make it. The Army takes care of its own, and I would always be welcome. I didn't see the woman, but a top of the line luxury car was waiting for me as I was wheeled to the hospital exit. The keys were in the ignition and a rental agreement was on the front seat. One of those computer maps was evident, and the GPS system had her address programmed into it. I checked the rental agreement, it was in her name. Mary! I was listed as a driver, operating under my insurance and license. I have no idea how she got that information, I assume the hospital had it, or perhaps she had access to my wallet.

 

As I started the car, I checked the clock. I had five hours to kill before I was due at her house. I thought about going straight over there, but I was sure she wouldn't be home. I don't mean to imply that I had some sort of ESP connection with her, I didn't. I had just had strongest feeling that she wanted me as much as I wanted her and that the time she'd given me was the earliest she could make herself available. It was all non-verbal, but stronger for that reason. I knew that she was going make me her top priority and the devil take the hindmost. She had wanted to get pregnant before she entered my room, and when she saw me, she decided that I was to be the father.

 

Later I wondered why that little fact didn't bother me at the time. I knew I couldn't give her a child. Even if I could, I wasn't the type of man to make a baby and abandon it. I believe that all babies need their fathers living with their mothers. I wasn't the type to lie to a woman or to take advantage of her. Yet, I was acting worse than a penned bull next to whole herd of fresh cows.

 

Now, I that I was feeling a little more normal, I tried to decide should make my own flight arrangements. After a small internal debate, I decided I wanted to stay the night in Washington. I had some very good friends here, working at the building of fives. (The Pentagon has five concentric, five sided rings, each, five stories tall.) Those jerks at Homeland Security had classified my presence in Washington as 'secret', so I hadn't seen any of them. I knew I wasn't being fair in my resentment of those agents. I knew that what happened to me wasn't part of the war on terror, but they didn't. I admire the job they're doing to keep us as safe as we are. Still -- I had buddies in town and I wanted to see them.

 

I drove out to the Pentagon, showed them my service ID. I'd forgotten that the hospital personnel had attached a small miniature service ribbon to my civilian suit. It was the pale blue one with all the white stars. The sentry checked my ID saw the ribbon and rendered a very snappy salute. It embarrassed me that I couldn't return the honor since I wasn't in uniform. I tried to hide my annoyance when he directed me to VIP parking lot. I'd told the sentry that I didn't want any honors, I was just there to see some buddies, but the halls soon filled with folks being deferentialanyway. My buddies arrived and we went to one of the cafeterias, where I ate too much and practically drownedin bullshit. I felt wonderful. I missed the service, and was almost tempted to try to go back.

 

Before I realized it, it was time to fight the traffic to Mary's house. She lived in Georgetown, one of the most posh sections of Washington. When I got there the house was one of the more impressive, and I wondered why I didn't feel in the slightest intimidated. I had money, all I needed, but this house bespoke serious wealth. The kind that gets you listed by Forbes Magazine as one ofrichest in the country. I parked in the driveway, and as I rang the bell, I wondered if there were servants. As I waited a whole host of questions surfaced. Why had the security gate been open? Had this woman worn a wedding ring? Why was she a volunteer at Walter Reed? This kind of money wrote checks; they didn't spend their time taking care of soldiers. Could she be an employee here? It never occurred to me that she might have sent me to the wrong place, just as it never crossed my mind that the solid man who opened the door was anyone other than her husband!

 

Our eyes locked and I took the man's measure. I had never believed in the 'Alpha Male' theory, but this man was an Alpha Male's alpha male. He exuded confidence and power. I liked him immediately. I didn't know why his wife was willing to cheat on him... openly! As our eyes locked, I knew something else. He would defer to me. Itook charge. I wondered that his deference didn't make me feel uneasy. I hate wimp husbands. The idea of a man watching me take his wife sickened me. I realized, after a second, that this man would never do that; he'd kill the man who tried to hang horns on him.

 

As he looked at the floor and shuffled his feet, I wondered again. An idea flitted through my mind that perhaps he had a problem that even Viagra couldn't fix. He exuded ex-military and I wondered if he'd given more to his country than any country should ask. If that was the case, he was the type of man who wouldn't stand for his wife running around behind his back, he'd meet them at the front door in person. He'd kick their ass if they weren't up to his standards. No, I shook my head, while that image was right, this didn't feel like that sort of situation, and they had a daughter. I couldn't understand what was going on. He didn't want me here, didn't want me to see his wife, but he wasn't going to stand in my way. I then wondered if he'd cheated and this was a condition of her staying with him.

 

Whatever it was, I didn't want any part of it. I was just about to offer my excuses and leave when Mary appeared. It happened again. I went into full rut, practically pawing the ground.

 

Her husband might as well have been an automatic door opener, except I heard him growl, "Don't make me watch this!"

 

Irritated at the distraction, I said, "Go sit quietly in your chair, stay there until I'm done. Don't get out of it except to go to the bathroom."

 

I wasn't aware of using my command voice, or what I was saying. I only know because of what happened later and what they told me.

 

I saw Mary flash a look at her husband, it was lament not lust. I've never seen a look show such remorse, and regret. I didn't see him leave, but her regret gave me the slimmest margins of control.

 

I looked at her closely, and I said, "Did I miss-read you? Did you have another reason for inviting me here?"

 

It didn't seem possible for a face to change so quickly.

 

She positively beamed, "I didn't think you'd come for me. I was hoping you'd come, but I thought it would be for Kristin, our daughter; she should be ovulating," her face positively radiated, "I did tell you I'm still on the pill; not that it matters."

 

I know now that the curse wasn't at full strength yet, or I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from taking her on the floor, right in front of her husband. I would have had no more control than baseball headed for the bleachers. No more control than my father had had with my mother. When the curse completely controlled me, going a week without impregnating a woman would send me into a state similar to the Viking berserkers. Encountering a woman who wanted to have a baby, with me in full rut, and not doing the deed on the spot would be like trying to stop a sneeze once it was started.

 

I didn't understand all that at the time; ignorance is not bliss. I think the reference to her daughter drained some of my pressure as well, but I wasn't sure why. With that control came serious confusion. "What do you mean about your daughter?"

 

She smiled, "I thought you had turned me down, that it was my daughter that brought you here. She is one of the bridesmaids, but if you want her now, I can go get her for you. By the time I get to the church the service should be over."

 

I felt my pulse rate surge, that hollow excitement began in my chest, the one I always got just before the biggest of games or the smallest of combats. Before it overwhelmed me, my voice of reason kicked in. "Are you offering your daughter to me, knowing she might get pregnant? What is this? Some sort of sick game? What kind of slut are you? How old is your daughter? I had visions of some junior high kid. Does she know what her mother has planned for her?"

 

It was the second major misjudgment since I stepped through the door. I normally don't make those sorts of mistakes, but I was thinking with the wrong head. It would be months before I learned enough to prevent the curse from leaving behind the havoc I was in the process of creating that night. At the time, I let a mild concern about the willingness of a child to engage in a slut mother's plan lead me into a greater mess. "Just tell me where the wedding is, I'll see if she's -- suitable."

 

I'd meant to say 'if she's old enough and willing'; what I said had a very different connotation. I still hadn't gotten with ten feet of Mary, much less touched her. If I had -- I would have left.

 

As I left the house, I told her I'd return; her husband never crossed my mind. But then I didn't know that he was virtually chained to his chair, unable even to speak. I'd like to think that I wouldn't have done that to a man I detested; I know I would never have done it to someone I respected. Despite the shortness of our meeting, I respected Mary's husband. I'm pointing this out to show how the curse was influencing me, not just those around me.

 

Safely out of sight of Mary, my other head began to do some of my thinking. Mary and her husband obviously wanted me to get her or her daughter pregnant. I tried to come up with a rational explanation of why they'd want that. Seeking to eliminate false modesty, I could see why someone might want a smart war heroto father their child, but that just didn't ring true in this case. Nor could I explain why she and her husband were trying to make me think that I had some sort of power over them... No, I realized that they weren't trying to make it JUST over them, they were trying to convince me that my attraction extended to everyone. I don't believe in things like witch-craft, spells or mind-control, but I wondered if she was using some sort of pheromone to control me. Certainly, I could smell her excitement, but at some instinctive level, I knew that it wasn't something like pheromones.

 

With that though, I was so close, I so wish that I'd been able to unravel the clues to the curse as I drove to the wedding. Instead, I reviewed my actions since I'd left Mary the first time. I'd encountered any number of women, and I hadn't noticed that any others seemed anxious to have my baby. If I had only known... the saddest words in the English language.

 

I've never crashed a party in my life. Part of that is I can't remember a party I wanted to go to that I hadn't been invited to. It never even occurred to me that I was crashing now. When I got there, the reception had already started. There was a large engagement picture of the happy couple as you signed in. I studied the pair. Their happiness was obvious. The young man looked promising. No, nineteen year old could ever be described as an alpha male type, but the promise was there.

 

No doubt influenced by the curse, I decided that instead of trying my 'appeal' on Mary's daughter, I would confirm my lack of 'appeal' by trying to charm the bride. I joined the end of the reception line. When I reached to shake hands with the bride, I tried to project the same desire for her I'd felt for Mary.

 

I was embarrassed, but relieved when all that happened was that she gave me a look that said, "You must be one of Steve's people, I'm so glad you're the last one."

 

When our hands touched, what she said aloud, was, "I can't tell you how excited I am that you're here. I'm flattered beyond words."

 

Giving me a conspiratorial look she added, "Would it be alright if I talk to Steve privately about how we're going to do this and get back to you? I don't want to hurt him, please?"

 

The pleading was now as evident on her face as in her voice.

 

Startled, I moved to shake hands with the groom. As our eyes locked. I saw that same surge of anger that I'd seen in Mary's husband. This time it was gone much faster, and a pleading expression replaced it.

 

He whispered, "Please don't let anyone know. It's my wedding day -- couldn't you wait till we get back?"

 

Again, I felt an irrational surge of anger. I'd always encouraged subordinates state their cases vigorously, yet now I was getting furious when an unreasonable act of mine was being challenged!

 

I replied in my command voice, but pitched so only he could hear, "Bring her to Mary's house as soon as you can get away."

 

As I saw acceptance in his face, my anger evaporated and I added, "You don't have to let anyone know, leave at the normal time."

 

The part of me that still wasn't controlled by the curse was aghast that I was telling a groom that I was taking his wife on their wedding night.

 

Trying to soften my intolerable action I added, "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

 

The relief on his face was so profound I fled before he could embarrassed us both by an inappropriate display of gratitude.

 

Those were mistakes in judgment numbers three and four. I've probably been that wrong about that many people before in one day, but I don't remember when. Never have there been the consequences like the one caused my miscalculations.

 

Again, once I got out of sight of the bride, I seemed to come to my senses. Realizing that I didn't know Mary's last name, and since she wasn't at the wedding, I figured there was a better than even chance the bride and groom would have no idea where I'd told them to meet me. The further I got from the young couple the more outrageous the whole idea seemed.

 

Determined to leave before someone recognized me, and before I could make a bigger asshole of myself, I almost ran over Mary's daughter. She had the same coloring and the same solid good looks. She was older than I'd hoped. A young woman in that age range where guessing was impossible. She could have been as young as sixteen or as old as twenty-seven. I don't know how she spotted me, but she'd blocked my path.

 

Standing with arms akimbo she said, "You're Col. Brown aren't you? The man my mother told me about?"

 

Once again my system flushed with lust, my hands moved to rip her clothes from her. My body planned to take her right there in the lobby, my hand actually grasped the neckline of her bridesmaid dress before my brain caught up with what I was doing. Using every erg of the iron control I'd been taught at West Point, I forced my hand to my side. So locked had been my eyes with hers, that it took several more seconds to realize that she hadn't been prepared to struggle. In fact as my hand dropped, it appeared she was about to remove her dress on her own.

 

I was breathing hard, trying to hold a semblance of control, images of her mother and the bride, naked and draped open in the same bed flashed through my mind. Normally, an image like that would ensurean erection. Curiously, it had the opposite effect. I'd just learned that one way to control what I now call it THE FLUSH is to remember that you have waiting and willing partners. As I struggled for the decorum that I expect of myself, I saw fear creep onto her face.

 

In a trembling voice she asked, "Don't you want me? I didn't believe mom when she told me what she'd done. I thought it was some sort of sick practical joke. Then I saw you talking to Edna and I knew. Mom said that if you came, it would mean you wanted me, please don't change your mind now!"

 

As I looked in her eyes, I had my next insight into the curse that will control the rest of my life. This young woman also wanted my child. By displaying THE FLUSH as I'd done, it encouraged her. If I didn't at least give her the opportunity to try to get pregnant, it would be worse than an Olympic favorite, prepared to compete watching the event cancelled. No worse than that, far, far worse. It probably would make this bright, cheerful young woman suicidal.

 

I understood that, temporarily I had the ability to say no to Kristin, but she would bear a heavy price if I never gave her the opportunity. I marveled at the arrogance of that concept, but I knew that I was right. As much as it bothered my sense of ethics, I knew that I would need to -- Then as if from nowhere, I felt a new concept develop. While the attraction between us was far more powerful than what I'd felt for my wife on our honeymoon, but it might be possible to postpone consummation for a few years.

 

I asked, "How old are you Kristin?"

 

Her smile was blinding. She knew she'd won. She knew I'd give her the opportunity to have my child and I could see her tension drain.

 

Ebullient, she gushed, "I'm 17 but I'll be 18 in less than a month! Mom was only fifteen when she got pregnant with me. We De Mille girls produce good kids young. Tonight would be fine, a monthdoesn't matter!"

 

She might not want to wait, but -- I wondered just how old the bride was, if her bridesmaid was only seventeen. It might be another out.

 

Looking at her I promised, "I'll come back for you the day after your eighteenth birthday. If you aren't already pregnant or --"

 

I paused and tried to think, there was something else that could keep me away, but I quite grasp what it was. I left the sentence incomplete, it didn't matter the promise was made.

 

She studied me intently, making sure that I wasn't trying to use a verbal slight of hand, then shocked me by asking, "Did you offer Edna a baby?"

 

I nodded, I hadn't known the bride's name, but now, Edna would know where to find me. I hurried to my car, and drove aimlessly for the next couple of hours trying to understand what was happening to me. Doing my best self-analysis, I decided that I could sense when a woman wanted to have a baby, or was at least open to the idea. I knew that when I Flushed I was broadcasting my desire to father that child. What I couldn't figure out is why any woman would respond to such an outrageous arrogance.

 

Around midnight I thought I'd managed to regain a measure of sanity, and with a growing sense of horror I headed to Mary's house, still determined to find some way to mitigate the evil I'd set in motion.

 

Despite my best intentions as I rang the front bell, I felt THE FLUSH blossom as Kristin opened the door. Seeing her and not one of my two intended, I felt it ebb. Although I didn't understand how, I was grateful to gain some measure of control. Unfortunately as soon as I'd FLUSHED, every one of my plans had been subsumed by my passion; leaving me physically and emotionally drained. Even as that mindlessness receded, I could only remember the barest outline of what I'd intended to do. I remembered planning to send Edna and her husband on their honeymoon, concentrating my lust on Mary. There had been more too it, but I couldn't remember. I did remember rationalizing that since she was already a slut, I would use that to limit the damage at least a bit.

 

Entering the foyer, I saw all of them. Mary stood by herself, Edna huddled with her arm locked through her groom's arm. Kristin walked to her mother's side and looked like she also wanted to hold her mother's hand for comfort. As I closed the door behind me, I FLUSHED again. I have no memory of moving but suddenly I had my arms around Mary. As I pulled her to me her scent repulsed me. It was the foulest odor I've encountered in my life. Much worse than the exploded stomachs and putrid odor of rotting corpses, I've encountered after battle. I shoved her from me, a different kind of rage descending upon me.

 

"You have sperm in you! When did you get it?"

 

I had no idea where that had come from, or why it caused such furious revulsion.

 

She was horror struck, her expression pleading for understanding.

 

She was near tears as she said, "Please it was five nights ago, my husband -- I didn't know you then. I didn't know it would matter, I'm not pregnant."

 

I heard my voice growl, "Sperm can live for six days inside you. I will not be polluted by another!"

 

That sounded true, incredibly stilted, and arrogant, but true. However, it wasn't a piece of information I'd ever remembered reading, and I certainly wouldn't have bet a plugged nickel on its validity. Some tiny portion of my rational brain filed away the datum that any woman who had living sperm inside her was safe from The Curse. Although as Mary proved, that woman wasn't safe from her attraction to me.

 

As a waves of fatigue engulfed me, I learned something else about the curse. I didn't know what happened to me when I broadcast my desire, but it physically drained me. I was almost as tired as I'd been that first time in the hospital. My brain was so leaden; I was near the hallucinations stage. I'm not trying to excuse what I did next, but I'm trying to explain. I crossed to Edna and smelled her. She smelled like honeysuckle and Jasmine, but I knew she wasn't wearing perfume. She was sweet and ready for me. I wasn't ready for her.

 

"I'm going to have Kristin help me to the guest room. I need to rest, take a nap. When I'm ready, I'll call for Edna to join me," turning to the bride, I added,"While I'm sleeping show hubby you love him... nothing that could contaminate you. He can suckle you, kiss you, but don't do anything that might let a single sperm come in contact with you-- from anyone!"

 

I saw the stricken face of her husband, remembered my promise and said to him, "Use Mary when you want Edna. She's a slut; it won't matter. Cum in her, it'll take the pressure off, she'll do anything you want."

 

I turned to Mary and said, "You will take care of all of his sexual needs until he can make love to his wife. Make him very happy. It's your audition for me. If he isn't ecstatic, I won't be back for you... or for Kristin. I want you leaking from all three places. It's the least I can do."

 

"Now," I said in my command voice, making sure I had everyone's full attention, "all of you go watch dirty movies, have sex, whatever until I send for Edna."

 

I didn't know what I was saying, I was babbling, I just wanted them to relax until I called for Edna. I wanted Edna and her groom to be able to enjoy each other to the extent they could. I never thought that Mary would do anything with him before I woke up, I assumed they would retire to one of the bedrooms after Edna came to me. It also never occurred to me that they were going to the TV in the den. Going to the den where Mary's husband was stuck in his chair. I wouldn't have done that to him. I certainly didn't intend to make Kristin or her father watch Mary... do what she did.

 

When I was a second lieutenant, my squad was cut off and in continuous contact with the enemy for thirty-six hours. That's the only time I ever remember having more difficulty thinking. I never considered that the groom might not want to have sex on his wedding night with someone else. I will never forgive myself for ordering him to make love to another in front of his bride. I certainly understand why she hates me now. I don't understand why she still came up to me when I called for her.

 

As Ilay on their guest bed I dreamed, and I begin to learn. The curse was worse than my most terrifying nightmare. I was THE Alpha Male! I wasn't even subject to challenge. My children would be the pinnacle of human evolution. That fact was somehow communicated when I felt 'the flush.' Most women would be drawn to me at a sub-conscious biological level, desperate to have my child. Most important, they would love and raise my child as their own. Sounds like some adolescent boy's wet dream doesn't it. It's a horrible curse!

 

The curse is that it is ONLY biological. The curse doesn't make the women like me, or desire me. They want my sperm, some are willing to literally crawl on bare hands and knees over broken glass to get it. But, once they've got it, and are pregnant, they aren't in the least hesitant to let their true feelings erupt. The same is true of the men. They won't try to hinder me, or try to kill me later. They will just consider me as fondly as they would someone who had used drugs on their loved one to get her pregnant! That woman will get pregnant. The only thing 'magical' effect of the curse was that any fertile woman I slept with, will have my child. It won't matter if she were ovulating at the time or not. It wouldn't matter if she were on the pill or not. That was a universal response to my unique DNA. It causes ovulation, almost like some sort of fertility drug.

 

That same DNA causes other responses; all my children will hate me. I don't mean the normal child/teenager friction, I mean we can't live in the same house, even newborns. This response is transmitted through the placenta to the mother. So, even if the mother and I married for love she'll hate me while she's pregnant. Were I to marry, my wife and I could have a loving day once every nine months, tops.

 

Then there's another little part of the problem. Should I encounter a woman who is trying, or even has just decided to have a baby, I will sense it and I will respond like a sex starved sailor given the privilege of the harem. My only defense to the urge is if I either have a previous engagement, or I've created a child in the last few days. Because both Mary and Edna had decided to become pregnant, and I hadn't had sex since my divorce, neither they or I had a chance.

 

Last but certainly not least, should I get a healthy non-virgin pregnant, she will have a girl. All of my daughters will be barren, and will hate me. My sons are worse; their DNA will induce a rage if they ever encounter me, and they'll try to kill me. I think it has to do that in order to produce a son, my sperm must pass through the woman's blood, for example an intact virgin. Female blood destroys the 'female' type sperm.

 

It's all biological, geared to the survival of the child, and the benefit of the human race. Each year hundreds of millions of children are born. By any criteria you chose to use, my thirty or forty children will be the top thirty or forty born that year. That's good for the species. Yet there's no danger that a 'super species' will evolve because they're sterile.

 

The child's DNA level distaste for me, that is transmitted by the fetus to the mother helps rebuild the bond to her real mate. The child, even as a newborn will be a daddy's girl, or boy in the extreme. Which also helps bond the family to give the child the support it needs from a 'Daddy', that's only aided by the child's extreme antipathy for me.

 

It all makes perfect sense biologically, but it dooms me to a life with no companions, male or female. I'm driven to have children, to want the very best for them, to attempt to make sure that they have everything they need. I yearn to be a 'Daddy' yet I can have no part in raising them. Could there ever been a man more cursed?

 

When I awoke, I had two overwhelming needs, the first was to procreate, the second was to find out if my dream was true... and if it was, some way to fix it.

 

Mrs. Mary De Mille:

 

It is extremely painful to remember what happen that night in our den.  I've always thought of myself as a moral woman.  I've had my lapses, I'm thirty-four and my daughter is almost eighteen.  Still, despite all the problems, my husband and I have been happily married for eighteen years.  I'm not sure that our marriage will survive to our nineteenth anniversary.  I desperately wanted another baby; I just never thought that I'd ever be an unwed mother …

 

I had known my husband all my life, but he didn't know I existed until I seduced him when I was sixteen and he was twenty-two.  We both lived in River Oaks, one of the wealthier sections of Houston.  He was the local golden boy.  He went to the exclusive The Kinkaid School and was a senior when I was in seventh grade.  He was all-everything, and of course, my fantasy.  After he graduated valedictorian, he played football at Rice.  Several polls selected him as an all-America, but since he was in ROTC, he went into the Army instead of the NFL.

 

He came back to Houston Christmas looking like a modern day cavalier in his Army dress mess uniform but I managed to catch his attention at one of the Christmas parties.  (I had what they are now calling a costume malfunction, back then we called it flashing.)  I'd just turned sixteen, and was already a junior at The Kinkaid.  (I'd skipped fourth grade.)  I told him I was a freshman at A&M and he never found out any different until I discovered I might be pregnant three weeks later.  I know he didn't want to marry me, but I made it work.  He was my sun and my moon, and by any standard, we had a very happy marriage.

 

The only problem was that since I'd had Kristin so very young, I had trouble getting pregnant when we decided to try again just before my thirtieth birthday.  What followed were four years of frustration and tests.  Finally, I had micro-surgery to repair some problems with my plumbing, only to begin having wildly erratic menstrual cycles.  The doctors recommend that I go on the pill for three months to see if I could get them regulated.  When I met Col. Brown, I was on my third month.

 

I've tried several times to explain my attraction to Col. Brown, and I can't.  I know that I love my husband, I would never do anything to hurt him, I'd never dreamed of being unfaithful, but it was like I was Cinderella and Col. Brown was the prince.  Saying no simply wasn't an option.

 

I'd done everything I could to raise Kristin to understand the dangers of getting pregnant before she married, but when I came home from the hospital, I told her that she had the most wonderful opportunity.  She was scandalized by what I was saying, but then she hadn't met him.  When I told Rodger, my husband, he thought I was playing an elaborate practical joke.  He had attended several military soirées where Col. Brown was a guest of honor, and knew his history.  He admired him immensely, although they'd never been introduced.  My husband isn't easily impressed; he's built the family business to a size where he has personal meetings with Presidents, Princes and Potentates.  Generally, they end up marching to his drum.  When Col. Brown walked through our front door Rodger looked like he'd been pole axed.

 

I wasn't surprised when Rodger agreed to leave the room after Col. Brown arrived at our house.  We Americans have the idea that all men are equal, and they should be as far as rights and the law is concerned, but Col. Brown has no equal.  I spoke with Dr. Dickson at Walter Reed.  I've heard her theory that out of all the billions of males on the planet somehow he is the #1 male by any measure, by orders of magnitude.  I don't understand all that, I just know that I was bowled over by just meeting him.

 

When I asked Rodger about it later he said, "I had always believed that if I couldn't win a fight, I could hurt the other guy enough that he'd back off.  That whatever he won, wouldn't be worth the cost I'd force him to pay to win.  I'd make sure the other guy knew fighting me would, at best be a Pyrrhic victory.  When Col. Brown walked in, I knew I couldn't win, and my best shot wouldn't faze him.  What was worse, since I'd seen him in person several times I wasn't prepared for the force of his personality one-on-one.  He was just overwhelming.  I would have gone after any other many with knives, guns or brass knuckles, with him, I was almost ready to give support him.  I was actually grateful that he wasn't going to make me watch what I was willing to allow."

 

I was grateful Col. Brown sent Rodger away too.  I was acting like a preteen around a rock star, and I didn't want my husband to see that.  When Col. Brown left to get Kristin, I went upstairs to get ready.  I still wasn't positive he was going to be willing to get me pregnant, but I wanted to be prepared.  First, I showered, and I took my time washing.  In fact, I was so careful washing my twat that it almost constituted masturbation.  I didn't think that Col. Brown would go down on me, but I'd been smelling myself ever since I'd met him, and I wanted to be fresh.  I then took a long soak in a bubble bath using scented oils.  I shaved my legs and under my arms.  For the first time, I was tempted to shave my twat.  Roger had asked me to do that once, but I had resisted.  I had a horror of being in a car accident and having someone else see me that way, and yes my mother always insisted that I have clean underwear on before I left the house.  I actually had the razor poised when I decided that I didn't want Rodger to know that I'd done that for someone else when I wouldn't do it for him.

 

After my bath, I redid my make-up and hair.  Then I had to decide what to wear.  I have a few Victoria's Secrets outfits, but I didn't have the courage to wear them.  Besides, those were for my husband and I didn't want to give that, even to Col. Brown.  I thought about several dresses, but I wanted to show off my figure and the only ones I had that did that were not something you'd wear around the house.

 

Finally, I decided on a jacket and trouser outfit by Bernard Zins.  The trousers were loden green with full leg and a regular raise waist.  They didn't have pockets and I thought they showed that I wasn't carrying any extra weight.  I chose an almost black Dana Buchman pullover blouse that make it clear that I wasn't wearing a bra, and would allow easy access to my very average boobs.  The jacket was a black and white tweed with a notched collar and three buttons.  The jacket would let me cover what the blouse showed if Col. Brown was only interested in Kristen.  I didn't own a thong.  In the past if I didn't want to show a panty line I would normally wear pantyhose.  Tonight was not a night for pantyhose.  Feeling a bit guilty, I borrowed one of Kristin's thongs.  When I finished dressing I thought I looked as good as I could for someone my age.  I added some aquamarine and diamond earrings, a wide gold bracelet and almost added a necklace and broach before I remembered that it might get in the way.  I finished the package with few drops of Sabi Parfum to make me irresistible.

 

My timing was almost perfect; I had just gone into the guest bedroom to turn down the sheets when I heard Kristin arrive.  I called her to help me and we lit some incense sticks and a few candles.  I wasn't actually that big on incense or candles, but I had a horror that Col. Brown might make our baby in our marriage bed and the incense and candles would be a good excuse.  I didn't want to share that bed with anyone else.  I know that sounds irrational, but somehow I was able to separate getting pregnant from lovemaking and from my marriage.  I was doing my best to seduce the man, but I knew that after I was pregnant, I'd only want my husband.

 

We'd just finished when Edna and Johnny arrived.  Edna looked radiant, as all brides look, but I think the idea of creating a new life with Col. Brown gave her a special glow.  Johnny didn't look happy, but that was certainly understandable.  It was horrible timing, but that was just the way things worked out sometimes.  I was trying not to be discouraged by her.  I had no doubt that Col. Brown could get two women pregnant in one night, but would he want to?  Kristin had already told me that he wasn't going to be with her tonight, but what about me?  I would be honored to have Edna use our house, but I didn't want to be overlooked.

 

I knew about men's fantasy of having two women at the same time, and I was determined that if that was the only way I could get what I wanted I would be the third wheel.  I was trying to visualize what that would entail when the doorbell rang.  Kristin rushed to open it and I stood there in the foyer as he walked in.

 

I know that many women have fantasies about working in a brothel, I never have.  The idea of walking out with my "sisters" to stand in front of a customer hoping to be picked is nightmarish.  Yet that is exactly how I felt as he entered the foyer and closed the door behind him.  Kristin walked over and stood by me I knew she wanted to take my hand.  I on the other hand, was trying not to do a hip thrust while pushing out my breasts.  I was wishing I'd worn my wonder bra, or something more daring than the thousand-dollar outfit I had on.

 

Col. Brown looked at us and he shuddered with need.  I was standing there with two other women and suddenly I felt like the most desired woman in history.  My need for him hit me with a force I couldn't comprehend.  Being wanted has always turned me on, but I've never felt this needed in my life.  It seemed a life or death matter, and I knew that while this man could have any woman in the world, it was me that he needed, desired.  I felt my twat swell with moisture and my nipples pushed against the silk of my blouse.  I walked to him and I turned to jelly as I felt his arms encircle me.

 

Just as my nipples made contact with his shirt, he thrust me away and looked disgusted.  He looked at me like you might look at a strange dog's poop on your sidewalk.  He yelled about having sperm in me and I wanted to deny it, but Rodger and I had made love on Tuesday night.  I was horrible embarrassed to admit that, but mortified to discover that it meant he wasn't going to give me a child.  When he talked about six days, I was determined to douche in the wild hope that I might be 'clean' by tomorrow before he left.

 

I was so focused on that that I almost missed what he said next.  He called me a slut, something that I'd never been called, even when I was pregnant at sixteen.  Then he was telling me that I had to audition with Johnny!  I was so mortified that it wasn't until after he left that the other shoe dropped for me.  I was going to have to 'audition' in the den.  The den where Rodger was watching TV!

 

The others began moving towards the den, but I stood there in shock.  Realizing that I needed to talk to Rodger before they arrived I asked if they knew where we could find one of the dirty movies we'd been instructed to watch.  Edna said she had a DVD in her suitcase that she'd been given as a gag gift.  Johnny volunteered to go get it.

 

I begged Kristin and Edna to give me a few minutes with Rodger alone before they joined us.  Then I hustled to see if I could get my husband to go to the library while we used the TV room.

 

When I entered I saw him staring, eyes fixed on the Fox News Network.  I was afraid that he might look diminished after Col. Brown, but he didn't.  He was the same strong man I'd married.

 

 I came over and knelt down beside his chair and said, "Honey, do you think you could go into the library for a little while."

 

I paused trying to think of a way to explain what was happening and he answered in a whisper, "I've been ordered to stay here and be quiet, I won't leave unless he changes those orders.  Surly there are enough rooms for you to use without coming in here.  Is he going to give Kristin a baby too?"

 

I felt an invisible hand clutch my heart, "No, he's going to wait until she's eighteen."

 

I paused and I felt him relax a bit.

 

Then he said, "He's a good man, but I almost wish he wouldn't wait, I'd like to see both babies born around the same time.  I appreciate him not taking you in our bedroom, when he comes in, I'm sure he'll let me go to bed.  I'll ask if I can take my eighteen year old Glenfiddich Scotch with me."

 

He looked at me intently, his eyes burning holes into my brain, I hadn't been this scared or upset since that morning I'd sat on the commode about to learn I was pregnant.

 

I wanted to cry at the pain I saw in his face, but his voice was even when he continued, "Mary, I'm going to get so drunk that I won't remember a thing that happened after I got home.  I know I get amorous when I get drunk, so if I do anything to you tonight, I want you to forgive me if I don't remember it."

 

I could feel the tears rolling down my cheek, I tried twice to form words but my throat wouldn't work.  I couldn't meet his eyes any more and I looked away.

 

"I'm not going to be leaving this room tonight either.  I, uh, I'm not presentable right now for him.  I … uh …"  I broke down crying and Rodger picked me with his incredible strength and set me gently onto his lap.

 

Wrapping his arms around me he said gently, "Is it something we can fix?  Will he come back for you?"

 

I nodded my head still unable to speak.  Rodger voice showed relief, "I've got to say I'm glad he's not going to be with you tonight.  I'll make it a point to travel a lot in the next couple of months that'll make it a lot easier on me too.  I don't want to know when it's going to happen, it'll be easier if I can pretend it never happened."

 

My heart was breaking and my soft sobs turned to horrible wracking boohoos, great gasping things that would have been melodramatic if my pain had been any less.

 

"Rodger," I managed at last gaining a small measure of control, "He's going to give Edna a baby.  He feels terrible about doing that to Johnny on his wedding night, and so he's given me to Johnny, in here!  He thinks I'm a slut!"

 

I felt every muscle in Rodger's body tighten, and I heard a growl of pain and fury deep in his chest.  I felt his body prepare to bound from his easy chair and I automatically rolled out of it so he could.  He began to hyperventilate as he struggled to rise.  I threw myself to my knees beside his chair.  I took his right hand in mine and bathed it in my tears.

 

"Please don't Rodger, I don't want to lose you."

 

I managed to mumble my chest heaving as I cried.  I couldn't stand for him to blame himself for his inability to act.

 

I knew every fiber of his being wanted to challenge Col. Brown and we both knew that would be fruitless.  It would only humiliate him more than what was already happening  It wasn't until much later when we realized that had he challenged Col Brown, he would have cancelled his orders.

 

I've often used the phrase, "I'd give my right arm..." At that moment, I would not have suffered a severed limb.  However, I literally would rather have been horse whipped that what Col. Brown was forcing me to do.  Yet, I didn't have the will even to oppose him, to ask him to relent.  I didn't know if my willingness to do this was based on my desire for a child by him, a grandchild by him or simply because he'd ordered me to do this horrible thing in front of my husband.  I knew I no desire to ever 'be' with anyone but Rodger sexually, yet whatever the source of my motivation to follow Col. Brown's orders it was stronger than my will, and best intentions.  I would hate every second, but I would do it.

 

I'd like to think that I might have found some way to succeed in my struggle to oppose what Col. Brown had ordered, but at that moment Kristin, Edna and Johnny came into the room.  Carefully ignoring Rodger and me, the newly weds sat on the couch between the two easy chairs in our home theater room.  I went to the bathroom and tried to repair my make-up while Kristin got everything set up to play the DVD.

 

My tears under control, but my make-up hopeless, I went to my recliner to the left of the couch, carefully not looking at the three on the couch or Rodger in his recliner on the other side.  The "movie" started and it was as bad as you might expect.  It was triple X and thankfully the dialogue was skimpy at best.  It mostly consisted of a couple trying to see just how many positions they could try out.  As a honeymoon gag it was perfect, as something to watch in that situation it was horrible.

 

I couldn't help but see, out of the corner of my eye, that Edna and Johnny were getting into it.  His hands were roaming, but carefully above the waist.  She had opened her blouse and unhooked her bra.  Even doing my best not to watch, it was far more erotic than what was on our wide screen.

 

Even if I hadn't been able to see it, no one could miss the sounds as he began to suckle her.  I heard him ask if she could cum from what he was doing and she shook her head.  I couldn't hear what he whispered but she shook her head again.

 

There was more discussion and I heard him say, "Please I want you to cum for me before you go to him."

 

The sounds of his suckling started again and Edna added new sounds of her own passion.  I glanced over and saw that she was using her own hand to stimulate herself through her pants.  I turned to watch, not because of any voyeuristic desire, but because I knew it would be seconds before I was take her place.  She shuddered and pushed Johnny away.  I was almost certain she hadn't had an orgasm, but she wanted to get away from Johnny before there was any danger he might have one.  She couldn’t take any chances that a premature release might contaminate her with his sperm.

 

She shot me a look of pain, then a silent plea that I wasn't sure I understood.  I knew she didn't want me to be with Johnny, but I think she wanted him to be so occupied that he wouldn't think about what she was doing upstairs.  I tried to convey in my smile that while I was going to do this, I had no desire for her husband.

 

Aloud I said, "Edna, I think that perhaps you might be more comfortable waiting in my chair, why don't we switch places?"

 

I didn't have to look at Rodger to see the tears on his cheeks.  I had never seen Rodger cry and it was like a knife twisting in my guts rolling my intestines into knots.  He was carefully centering his entire attention on the TV, but when I lowered my footrest to get out of my recliner, I saw him squeeze his eyes shut.

 

Edna had been sitting in the middle of the couch next to Kristin.  I couldn’t do that and motioned for Johnny to move over letting me sit next to what was now Kristin's chair.  He reached over, squeezed Kristin's hand and made a space for me to sit next to him.

 

I was only thirty-four, but Johnny had been coming over to our house since he was in pre-school.  Edna and Kristin had been friends and soccer teammates forever.  Edna and Johnny were only a year ahead of Kristin in school, and despite what I'd just seen, I couldn't think of him as anything other than the little kid I'd made jelly sandwiches. I couldn't believe that I was sitting down next to him to be a wife substitute.

 

It wasn't until that second that I remembered that Col. Brown had said he wanted me, "leaking from all three places," or he wouldn't be back for me or for Kristin.  I do oral for Rodger all the time.  I've never let him come in my mouth, and I don't do deep throat.  I tried once but I ended up throwing up.  Still, as long as he doesn't force it too deep, I enjoy it.  I like the way it gets him excited.  My girlfriends think it's odd that I don't like him to go down on me.  I'm so sensitive down there that his tongue tickles me, and I'm so scared I might pee on him; it makes me a nervous wreck.

 

Now, I was going to have to let Johnny cum in my mouth, and something I've never done with Rodger--- anal!  I did let him try once, but it hurt me so much, even before he got it in that he stopped without my asking.  I was so grateful, his concern for my feelings is one of the things I love about him.  Now I was going to have to accept that pain from Johnny.  What's more I was going to have to do it with my husband in the same room.  Somehow, I was going to have to find a way to keep from showing that pain or it would kill Rodger, or he'd kill Johnny!

 

We sat on the couch for several minutes watching the DVD.  The machine was set to repeat, but was so monotonous that I wasn't sure if it had yet.  Johnny's hands were in his lap and mine were in mine.  I was so upset just thinking about what I had to do, that I was almost trembling.  Because I was distracted, it took me several minutes to realized that Johnny was trying to edge away from me, our hips weren't touching anymore.

 

I'm almost never an aggressor with Rodger.  I don't have to be.  Frankly, I love the feeling of being wanted and I always respond to it.  I took a deep breath, and shifted, trying not to let Kristin see what I was doing.  There was no way I could make mad unrestrained sex, much less wild if unwanted adultery, with my daughter sitting on the same couch with me.

 

"Kristin, do you think that you could bring your father that special bottle of Scotch from the bar?  The one in the round tube, and while you're up would you bring me a light blanket?  I'm afraid I'm a little cold.  And, uh, you might want to bring yourself a cushion, I'm feeling a bit tired and I might stretch out here on the couch."

 

It was the thinnest fiction, but it was the best I could do.  I'd never seen Rodger drink to get drunk, but I hoped it wouldn't take him long.  I decided we'd wait until he passed out, and Edna left.  Even if Kristin was still in the same room, I could use the blanket to hide what I was doing from her.  As she left, I switched sides, so I could turn my back to Rodger when the expected began.

 

What I didn't expect was for Johnny to lean over a whisper him my ear, "Mrs. D, I hate what I'm going to do.  I don't ever want another woman except Edna, but he told me I have to use you when I want Edna, that I have to cum in you.  This is making me sick at my stomach, especially in to do it front of Mr. D and Edna but I don't have a choice."  He made a sound that was half a choke and half a sob, "Him wanting Edna makes me kind of proud in a strange way, and we wanted children right away.  It's why we were getting married so young; with our trust funds, it's not like we have to wait until I can earn a living.  I'm sorry as hell about our wedding night, and I resent that he made me come here with her, but this … with you, is sick;  it's like doing it with my mom."

 

I understood exactly what he was saying, and would have told him so if I wasn't holding my tongue between my teeth to avoid making a sound.  As soon as he'd moved to whisper in my ear, his hand had moved to cup my right breast.  When he finished talking, he moved down to kiss my neck.  At the touch of his lips I jumped so hard I almost bit my tongue off.  I was as rigid as a board, and I felt like if I moved I'd shatter, shooting splinters all over the room.  I turned my head fractionally and I could see the muscles in Rodger’s jaw clench and unclench.

 

My right hand flew to cover my mouth, like a little girl who accidentally said a bad word.  Although Rodger was staring straight ahead, I know he was watching.  His lips began to move and I knew he was cursing under his breath.  He'd been told to be quiet and he was following orders, but he was scaring me.  Johnny began to fondle my breast and my nipple.  Because of the coolness of the room that nipple was already hard.  I couldn't bear the thought that Rodger might think I was responding to Johnny.  Johnny was trying to be sexy, but while he wasn't hurting me, it felt like the technician positioning me for my last mammogram.  He kissed my neck, right below my ear, a place I've hated to be kissed since a boy, whose name I've mercifully forgotten, licked me there in the sixth grade.  At that time I'd run screaming to the teacher for a towel to wipe off the germs.  With Johnny, it made my skin crawl and I wanted to turn and bite his head off.

 

I took a deep mental breath.  This wasn't going to work, I not only had to get very intimate, I had to do a good job.  Johnny was enough of a gentleman that he'd no doubt be very complimentary of my "performance" even if I acted like a dead log.  However, I knew right down to my bones that he would be honest, to a fault, when he answered questions by Col. Brown, no matter what its effect on Kristin and me.  I'd never been good at faking passion; Rodger was so good I didn't have to.  He could still make me wet just by locking eyes and cocking an eyebrow wickedly.

 

I suddenly had a horrible image of what my future would be like if I were to go through with all this only to have Col. Brown use my lack of enthusiasm as a reason not to give Kristin and me a baby!  The thought didn't do a thing for my passion but it did wonders for my motivation.  Rodger could only forgive what I was doing if we won in the end.  I glanced at him again, and he was the picture of a man absorbed in a TV show – except for those muscles clenching and un-clenching in his jaw.  I used my right hand to adjust my jacket to shield what Johnny was doing to my breast.  It was the smallest of fig leaves, but it let me pretend that Rodger didn't see.  I bit my lower lip and tried to enjoy the mauling of my boob.

 

It only took a second to realize that would never work.  As soon as I opened my jacket, Johnny began jiggling my boob like it molded Jell-O.  I pressed my jacket into his hand, forcing him to stop playing with me like the kid he was.  His response was to pinch my nipple, something else that I hate.  They are so sensitive I can barely stand to have Rodger lick them.  I love the feeling when he takes in a mouthful of me and that sort of hard contact, but pinching them is just painful, not sexy.  I couldn't contain a small yelp and I saw Rodger whip his head around, his eyes boring holes into Johnny.  He didn't say anything, he just stared hard, his eyes narrowing, his lips thinning.

 

I didn't have to hear him say the words, 'That's my woman you're manhandling and if you hurt her you'll answer to me,' to get the message loud and clear.

 

I felt Johnny tense and I heard him swallow hard.  I had to grab his hand to keep him from moving it off my breast.

 

When I did, I saw Rodger nod curtly to Johnny turn back and resume his fascination with the second or third showing of the very short porn DVD.  Johnny acknowledging that I wasn't a toy, unceremoniously and a bit defiantly moved his hand from my breast to my legs.  I had them crossed but he jammed his hand between them a few inches below my crotch.  The last thing I needed was for Johnny to take out his anger at Rodger's rebuke on me.  I was determined that we would never see Johnny or Edna after this night, but I couldn't afford for the two men to erupt into open warfare.

 

As Johnny pushed harder I uncrossed my legs and allowed his hand to shoot up and cup my mound.  He was gouging me, and it was very uncomfortable.  I felt my face turn scarlet as something in Johnny's body language let me know Rodger was watching Johnny's hand touch me where no one but Rodger had ever touched me.  I'm not sure what I would have done if Kristin hadn't finally gotten back with Rodger's Scotch and a light blanket for me.  She hadn't brought a cushion for herself, instead she had a small pillow and second light blanket.  She wrapped herself up, turned her back to us and pretended to be trying to go to sleep.  For the first time since Johnny had touched me, I looked over at Edna.  She had tears streaming down her face and mouthed, "Sorry," when she saw me looking at her.

 

Johnny had his back to her but some reaction from me must have let him know what Edna was doing.  He turned and looked at her.

 

She whispered, "Not like that Johnny, Mrs. D doesn't deserve that, don't make it harder on her.  You understand what I need to do, I understand what you need to do, and what she has to do for Kristin.  It's not her fault."

 

Johnny actually blushed, the pressure on my twat stopped being hostile.  Twisting so I had my back to my husband I covered us both in the blanket then I pulled him to me and gave him the best kiss I had.  I let my tongue slip between his lips and tenderly explored his mouth.  When his tongue responded I did my best to caress it.  Steeling my nerve, I moved my right hand down to his crotch and I felt his erection.  He broke our kiss and gave me the funniest expression.  It took me several seconds to understand. I realized that Col. Brown had said I was a slut, and Johnny was afraid he didn't 'measure up.'

 

I leaned into him, pressed my mouth to his ear and whispered so that only he could hear, "It's very nice, I'm going to enjoy my time with this."

 

I gave it a gentle squeeze.

 

I felt him relax.  Johnny had no way of knowing that this was only the second penis I had ever taken into my hand.  It was a little smaller than my husband’s, but I had no idea if it was nice or not.

 

I whispered, "Johnny, I'm not a slut, I never have been;  you'll be my second.  I would never do this except for Col. Brown, but it is going to happen so let's just make the best of it."

 

I felt him relax a little more, and his finger caressed my slit through my designer slacks.  Now, his touch was different … firm but gentle.  I sighed very softly, I wasn't being turned on yet, but at least he'd stopped turning me off.  I sensed motion behind me and twisted just enough to see my husband take another long swig from his bottle.  He wasn't chugging it, quite, but it was a heck of a way to treat two-hundred dollar a bottle Scotch.

 

Johnny snaked his other arm around behind me, pulling me to him.  I felt his hand move under my blouse and cup the same breast he'd mauled earlier.  This touch was also different, he was taking my measure as a woman.  His hand was warm and his touch was sure.  His eyes met mine and they let me know that he liked what I had.  That knowledge sent a small shiver to the center of my sex.  We kissed again, and I remembered seeing a fire starting demonstration with flint and steel as a young girl scout.  The leader hadn't created a single spark but a whole shower of hot embers.  Deep inside I felt the first glow of an ember; this young man, barely past the age of scouting might get an indecent fire going yet.

 

Johnny lifted my blouse and ducked his head to take my breast into his mouth.  His lips were warm and as his tongue probed my nipples;  I was struck by how different it felt from when Rodger suckled me.  I ran my fingers through his hair drawing him to me, and I couldn't help but think that he was young enough that I might have nursed him as an infant.  That thought was as effective as a bucket of cold water on the sexual flames I'd been trying to build.  I squeezed his penis through his pants.  There could be no more effective reminder that the mouth at my breast wasn't an infant's, but it didn't help.

 

Touching the skin of Rodger's cock was always a turn on for me.  Feeling the heat of it in my hand always ignited my fires.  Summoning my courage, I unzipped him.  At first I tried to do it slowly so as not to make noise.  However, as each tooth unsnapped it sounded like a Las Vegas dealer shuffling a deck of cards.  Reaching inside, I found the opening in his boxers and a second later, I touched it.

 

I felt like Eve in the Garden of Eden, my eyes were suddenly opened.  This cock was going be inside me.  It was going to be a part of me and my vagina cringed at the thought.  I almost gagged and my anus puckered as I remembered again where else this cock was going in a few minutes.  Tears filled my eyes and ran down my cheek, and I knew that I would not be able to summon true passion.  I would do my mechanical best, but I didn't want this thing inside me, and I certainly didn't want what came out of it.  I just wanted this whole day to be over.

 

Johnny was searching for the zipper to my slacks, so I released his cock and reached behind me to unsnap and unzip.  It was a little difficult to do one handed, but I managed.  I never thought about what Rodger was seeing as my pants opened.  I did however, look into Edna's eyes and her tears matched my own.  I couldn't stand to face her and I twisted, pulling Johnny with me so I faced the TV again.

 

Johnny's hand slipped into my opened pants.  I felt it glide over my pubic hair and I opened my legs to allow him to touch my most private of places.  I managed to keep the blanket pulled about my neck, as I felt Johnny's finger find my opening.  I didn't realize that the blanket was resting on top of his hand, that Rodger could see every motion as Johnny fingered me.  Johnny's head was covered but the outline was clearly over my breast and blanket didn't cover the wet sounds of his mouth.

 

Unaware of the spectacle I was providing, I opened my legs further to give him room.  I wasn't completely dry, but if it had been Rodger's finger I would have asked him to wet it.  But if it had been Rodger's finger, there would have been no need to ask him to use his saliva.  Using what moisture I had, Johnny twirled my clit and it wasn't quite painful.  I pressed my hand on his to show him I wanted him to finger me more, to get me wetter before he tried to stimulate me that way.

 

As he pushed into me again, I grabbed his cock and I tried to think of times when I'd been especially turned on.  The finger inside me pinched that sensitive skin, and my mind snapped back to the first time Rodger and I … I started to say made love, but the fact is that we fucked like rabbits.  We'd gone down to Galveston and were at his family's beach house.  We'd had Chinese delivered and were on the couch watching some silly movie.  I had been wearing slacks that day too, and they were on the floor with my panties.  The subject of birth control never came up.  Rodger thought any college girl would be on the pill and I thought you couldn't get pregnant your first time.  As Rodger had entered me, my hymen tore.  It had felt like a little pinch but I was so hot I didn't even flinch.  Rodger was so hot he pounded me like a two-dollar whore and we both loved it.

 

It was only after we were finished that I realized that I'd bled like a stuck pig.  Rodger was so apologetic and embarrassed.  We had to get cleaning fluid to keep the couch from staining.  We used a towel the next time, but it wasn't needed.  Kristin was conceived that first time.  The rest of the time Rodger used condoms but it was a case of closing the barn door after the horses were out … hmmm that is a strange backwards metaphor, but remembering the episode had gotten me wet and Johnny's finger now circling my clit felt almost good.

 

Being careful to keep the blanket over me, I shifted and lifted to get my slacks and my thong off.  Again, I never thought about what the image of those clothes on the floor looked like to our respective mates.

 

While I was taking mine off, Johnny unbuckled and unbuttoned then pushed his pants and boxers down to uncover what I needed.  I crawled over him and grasped his cock.  He was wetter than I, and I used that moisture to get my slit wet.  Looking over the top of his head, I positioned his little head at my opening.  I didn't want to see his face, and I certainly didn't want to see any of the other people in the room.  I pushed down, feeling my vaginal lips separate as he began to enter me.  As his head pushed into my intimate passage, I felt my walls expand, and my skin pinch.  I was still dry, and this was more painful than losing my virginity.  I concentrated on my memories as I bobbed trying to use his moisture to wet me.  I pulled back fractionally, then pushed down on him so I could get more of his unwanted cock into me.  After a dozen painful little jabs, when he was about half way in, my own juice finally released.  I've always been what Rodger calls a juicer, and now I needed every drop.

 

It seemed an eternity later when my bottom rested on his legs, I got no clitoral stimulation in this position, and I was going to have to do all the work to make him cum.  Still, I could use the springs in the couch to help me bounce on him when he got close.  I lifted my blouse and offered my breasts to him.  He cupped my right and took my left into his mouth.  I pulled his head to me as I took long strokes almost pulling off him before I would push all the way down to his legs.  The third or fourth time I did that, I clearly heard the slapping sound of my bottom on his legs and I was too embarrassed to continue.

 

I gritted my teeth; I hated the feeling of him inside me, but the only way to get him out was to give him the pleasure of my body.  Yet I refused to let my husband hear the wet sounds of our joining and think that I was getting any pleasure from this.  With all of him inside me, I began to rotate my pelvis in the classic fuck motion, but I wasn't sure I was giving him enough stimulation to cum.  Certainly, it wasn't doing a thing for me.  His hand and mouth on my boobs felt nice but his cock might just as well have been a turd inside me.

 

It was at that moment that I had a visual image of what I was doing.  I had another man inside me, I was rutting like a bitch in heat and both our mates were less than six feet away.  I also remembered for the first time that my daughter was hearing everything too.  I stopped moving my hands covering my face in shame.  As I stopped, I became aware for the first time that Johnny was thrusting up into me, or perhaps he started when I stopped.  His movements were frantic and almost before I understood what was happening I felt the first spurts of his orgasm.

 

I'll never know where the impulse came from, but I literally hopped off him and the couch.  I fell to my knees and showing more coordination than I'd ever shown in my whole life, I got my mouth around his cock in time for the last spurt to land on my tongue.  I used my teeth to scrap it onto my lips before I wiped it off with a tissue.  I used the same tissue to clean the leakage between my legs.

 

By the time I'd finished my brain had caught up with what I was doing and I whispered very softly so Rodger couldn’t hear, " Col. Brown was just using a euphuism with his ‘leaking’ comment, an extremely crude way to say that I was totally available to you.  What just came to me was that while I have to fulfill the letter of his orders, I don’t have to do it literally.  Johnny, I understand that I need to have you cum in all three places in me, but that doesn't mean that we have to do this three times.  Or that somehow I have to hold your sperm in my mouth.

 

His eyes got big and for the first time a wry grin split his face, speaking in a normal voice he said, "No, and while he told me I had to use you, there's no reason that what the junk  has to be mine!"

 

That hit me like a thunderbolt.  I'd only been worried that it wouldn't be possible to get Johnny to three orgasms in the time that we had available.  I couldn't look at Rodger;  I had just acknowledged that I had another man's semen coming out of my mouth and vagina.  I still needed to have anal sex to fulfill my command but unless Rodger took the initiative, I would never have the courage to approach him.  I know how irrational that sounds, but it wasn’t a rational time.  My husband will help me to an orgasm with his fingers if I don’t come while he’s inside me, but he’s always very careful not to finger me when I’m ‘messy.’  Now I was messy from another man.  I didn’t want to have anal sex with Johnny, and I had to have anal sex.  As ridiculous as it sounds I couldn’t ask Rodger to take me that way, because I was too embarrassed and I was afraid I would gross him out.

 

"Mary, I'm a little chilly, would you mind sharing your blanket?  You could sit in my lap if you'd like."

 

His voice was carefully neutral and it showed only a hint of the scotch he'd consumed.

 

My heart felt like the weight of the world had been lifted.

 

"I need to go to the bathroom, but I'll be right back."

 

I wrapped the blanket around me and hurried to the half bath just off the den.  I did need to pee, but I mainly wanted to wash my mouth and my bottom before I went to my husband.  As horrible as all this was, he was my rock, and I thought this meant we were okay.

 

As I was finishing, I heard Edna, get up from her recliner and say, "I think I'm going to go upstairs and use the bathroom."

 

She then quietly left the room.  I hoped Col. Brown was ready for her.

 

The first thing I noticed as I crawled onto my husband's lap was that he was completely soft.  The second thing I noticed was that he turned his face away when I tried to kiss him.  I could feel tears well up again and I buried my face in his neck I was so ashamed.

 

He whispered in my ear, "Why don't you use that sweet mouth of yours on my cock, and then we'll see if I can help you with your little problem."

 

His voice carried that same carefully neutral tone, like a drunk trying to convince a cop that he hadn't been weaving.  It was not the voice of a loving husband, and it wasn't the tone that I'd ever heard in our bedroom.

 

I’m not exactly sure what I’d expected from Rodger, I knew we’d both be a bit inhibited having anal sex in front of others.  I think it was because I needed to be loved so much by him at that moment that it hit me so hard.  I wanted to be re-assured, to be cherished to be loved and I’d gotten more attention from Johnny.  I didn’t understand, and I began to cry … again.

 

I couldn't see his expression through my tears and in the dim light, but I couldn't miss the way he was pushing me off his lap.  I felt a cold vacuum where my heart was supposed to be as I fell to my knees and waited for him to unbuckle, unbutton, and unzip.  I kept telling myself that no matter how bad this coldness from my husband was, it was better than having to do this with Johnny.

 

I was battling my tears as I lowered my head to take him in my mouth.  I don't remember him ever being this soft or this small.  If it hadn’t been his scent, I might have thought I had a stranger in my mouth.  It felt so unnatural to have all of him in my mouth and have room to spare.  I wasn't sure what to do!  I'd always had to bob to get all of him in, even when he was soft.  Now it was like he'd shrunk and all I could think to do was to roll it around in my mouth with my tongue.

 

For almost two full minutes, nothing happened, and then when I was sucking with all my might, I felt a twitch.  I redoubled my efforts to wrap my tongue all the way around it while pressing my lips as tight as I could.  It twitched again and it was the size I was accustom to having when he was soft.  Now I was on familiar ground, I knew what to do.  Although it took longer than I ever remember in the past, I was able to get him to full hardness.

 

For the first time I looked up to see how he was responding and he was looking into space.  I bit my lower lip.  My every instinct was to bolt from the room.  To bury myself in my pillow and cry myself to death, but I wasn't allowed.  I had the blanket wrapped around me like a skirt, and I held it as I slowly stood.  He still wasn't looking at me and I couldn't hold back a sob.  Trying to feel like a robot on remote control, I turned so I had my back to him.  I wet two fingers and rubbed them on my anus.  Then, shifting the blanket so I could present my bare bottom to him, I maneuvered into position.  Gripping his cock, I sat back into his lap guiding it to my virgin ass.

 

The tip pushed into me and there was a terrible pain, but it was nothing to the pain I was feeling where my heart should have been.  I pushed out like I was trying to fart, a girlfriend had told me that would help and it slipped inside me.  I had to stop several times to let my rectum adjust to his size but once he was in me, it wasn't as uncomfortable as I had always imagined.  In fact I might have enjoyed the full feeling if Rodger had so much as put his hands on my hips.  Instead, his hand clutched the arms of his recliner, his knuckles white.  He never made a sound or said a single word.

 

I used my legs to 'bounce' as soon as I felt I'd adjusted to the intrusion, and again, mercifully, I felt my husband cum just minutes after I started.  Using my last reserves of willpower, I waited until I felt him give his last twitch then I stood, wrapped the blanket around me and fled to the bathroom, where I curled up on the floor and cried.  My husband had just treated me worse than he would a whore off the street.  I almost, almost wished I’d done it with Johnny.

 

I don't know how long I was in there, at least forty-five minutes.  Long enough for the mess on my thighs to dry and cake.  When gained a measure of control, I used a washrag and the sink to clean up part of the mess.  I had to move to the toilet to finish.  I wasn't leaking from Johnny, I don't thing he actually got much inside me.  My rectum was burning and I felt like I had a touch of the runs.  I must have used a half roll of paper.  The real problem came when I tried to clean my face.  Every time I looked in the mirror, a new crying jag would overtake me and that led to farts, which meant I had to clean myself all over again.

 

When I finally got control of myself, I came back out to the den and everyone was gone!  I felt a stab of terror and my mind couldn't deal with what my eyes were seeing.  I think I screamed, because the next thing I knew Kristin was there holding me.

 

"It's okay mom, Col Brown's gone, Edna and Johnny are gone too.  Dad is upstairs getting cleaned up.  I was just activating the security system.  Col. Brown gave us a number to call when we're ready.  Everything is fine he’s going to give us what we want.."

 

Everything was not fine; my husband had just told me he didn't love me, even if he hadn't spoken a word.  I'd been humiliated and I didn't know how I was going to stand it.  Thank God that Rodger walked in at that second and took me in his arms.

 

"Mary, my sweet Mary, we're going to get through this, I know you're upset, I'm upset too.  I love you, but I need to be alone for a little bit.  Kristin going to stay with you, I'm going down to the gym and work off a bit of mad, then I'll join you if you want.  We'll talk tomorrow."

 

He released me and walked away.  It was only then that I realized how stiffly and unnaturally he'd held me.  His body had spoken much louder than his voice.

 

I blinked hard, twice as I realized something else.  Rodger had used a tone of voice I've only heard three times in our marriage.  All three times, it was in the middle of huge fights and he told me he was leaving for a drive, and if I tried to stop him, he would use force.  I never know when to stop in a fight and those few times I'd gone too far and Rodger needed to get away and cool down.  Each time he'd driven off and come back a few hours later and we'd worked things out.

 

Now, I needed desperately for him to hold me to tell me he was coming back.  I felt so filthy and I needed him to help me get clean.  I broke down when he turned the corner without looking back.

 

Kristin was supporting me with her arms when she whispered, "Come on mom, let's get you into a shower, you smell a bit rank and you'll feel better when you're clean.  Then we'll talk;  daddy's not going to leave, but you can understand why he might want to be alone for a bit, surely."

 

Honestly, I didn't want to understand, I wanted my rock with me to support me and I hated myself when I broke down and cried the way I was now.  I was very sore, but I also needed for my husband to make love to me.  I wasn't horny in a way I'd ever been before, but I'd been asked to choose between a first class round the world cruise and my husband inside me … there just wouldn't be a decision to make.  I still felt that terrible emptiness inside, and only Rodger inside me could fill it.

 

When you have no choice, you can do things you never though possible.  I would not have believed I could walk, even with Kristin's help, up the stairs and then to our bedroom suite.  I'm sure I couldn't take off my blouse and jacket, much less find a way into the shower.  Kristin literally held me up as the hot water pulsed over me.  I had no more strength than a baby as she began to use the shower wand to clean me.  It didn't even register at the time that she used the hardest setting and for all practical purposes gave me an enema and douche.  She washed my hair and my face, then moved me into our two-man tub with underwater jets.  Kristin joined me and as I let the water pulse over me, I felt my mind go mercifully blank.

 

I'm not sure I slept, but when I became aware of my surroundings again, Kristin was giving me a cup of coffee made with twice the cream and three times the sugar that any sane person puts in, just the way I like it.  I still felt extreme ennui, but I'd recovered from the seamless void I'd retreated into.  I wasn't even aware that my eyes had never stopped crying.

 

Kristin helped me out of the tub and dried me off with one of the big fluffy towels I love, then helped me into my favorite nightgown, the one I call my Mother Hubbard.  I know I was acting catatonic, but actually, I felt more like when they'd given me too much pain medicine after Kristin was born.  Except that then, even with the all the body changes, I hadn't felt as empty inside.

 

I think Kristin was leading me to bed when I felt Rodger's arms around me and his cheeks next to my neck.

 

His cheek was wet, which made no more sense than when he said, "Mary, I'm so sorry, I've always thought I was strong enough for anything, but I wasn't strong enough to keep from raping you."

 

I whirled and I slapped him so hard my hand stung.  I had no idea I was going to do that, but I certainly knew why.

 

 "Don't you ever use that term for what you did!  Is that why you wouldn't hold me or love me?  Didn't you know how much I wanted you then?  Do you think it mattered where?  Oh you damn fool!"

 

I thrust my self into his arms, and much to my surprise I cried.  I know it's hard to believe but I probably had only cried two dozen times since I got married, but these were tears of relief.  What Johnny had done to me was a kind of rape, not by Johnny but by Col. Brown.  What my dear Rodger had done was an act of kindness.

 

I don't remember Kristin leaving but Rodger and I were in bed alone.  He told me that the anger he'd needed to work off hadn't been at me but at himself.  He told me that Col. Brown had come and apologized to him, and to Johnny.  He'd offered to talk to me but Kristin had begged him not to.  “Mary, I don’t understand it, I accept that he’s a better man than I, but I don’t understand how I react to him.  When we were in the den and … and Johnny and I were doing what we did, I was resolved to kill him.  I knew I couldn’t do it myself, but I swore that if it took every dollar I had or could borrow I’d hire enough people to kill him.  Then, Edna came down and he talked to Johnny and I saw Johnny slug me, then they shook hands and they left smiling.  Seeing that smile I was almost ready to kill Johnny too.  I don’t want that man in my house, ever.  Edna’s welcome, but he’s not.  It’s not his fault, but …

 

Rodger, took several seconds to compose himself, then continued, “He came over to me and we talked about the child you and I are going to have, to raise.  He made me feel proud of what we’re going to do, and I felt so sorry for him.

 

"I'm not sure what's going on with him Mary, I don't think he understands it either.  He said that he had been reacting to everything like he hadn't slept in three days.  He gave me the most heart felt apology I've ever heard.  He forced me to spill the spleen I’d bottled up over what he’d done.  He almost had tears in his eyes and asked what he could do to make it right.  He gave me a blank check on himself, and it was everything I could do to keep from tearing up.  Then he forced me to slug him in the gut.  It felt like I was hitting a brick wall but I was able to forgive him.  I never had to forgive you, you didn't do anything wrong.  I just wish I'd had …"

 

I'd never hit my husband, except for that slap but I did then.  I hit him as hard as I could in his stomach.  He wasn't expecting it and he curled up into the fetal position for almost a minute.

 

When our eyes met, I said, "Since that seemed to help you with Col. Brown maybe this will help you with me.  I will allow you to apologize, one time for being a bad lover in the den, I will not hear of anything else!  If you ever try to imply what you did earlier, my next shot will be lower … and I don't want to cut off my nose to spite my face."

 

I knew I'd hurt Rodger, but as the last words registered I saw that gleam in his eye that told me he understood.  We made love, it was very private and it was wonderful.  Just before Rodger entered me I had asked him to give us a baby and we made love to make life.  That's a special tenderness that can only happen when you first make that decision.

 

I was still on the pill and I know intellectually that I didn't get pregnant that night.  I got pregnant two weeks later while Rodger was on a week-long business trip.  I'm glad I'd talked to Edna and knew what to expect.  I've been more emotionally involved in a pap smear. 

 

I was nervous when I answered the door for Col. Brown.  He was a stranger and he felt like a stranger, not someone coming to share my body and give me a child.  I had prepared a guest suite with candles and soft music just in case he wanted them, but I don’t think they even registered on him.  We went up to a guest suite, and we didn’t even hold hands.  He told me to lift my dress and take off my panties.  He twirled his finger to show me that I was to turn around.  He told me spread my legs, bend over and brace myself on a chair.

 

I’ve already said that I don’t enjoy oral sex.  So the closest I came to any emotion was when he kneeled behind me intending to do just that.  I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to prepare myself.  As odd as it sounds his tongue lapping and mashing my twat lips wasn’t even sexual.  A different texture and I might have been washing myself with a flannel.  He seemed more interested in working his saliva into me than in sexual stimulation.  I felt that pinch that I knew was ovulation, and I must have reacted, because he asked me if I’d just ovulated.  He stood used his hands to adjust me for his entry and pushed into me.  I was surprised that his entry was very easy, I was so lose I could barely feel him.  He wasn’t small, the largest of my small sample, but I would have sworn I would have been very dry and very tight.  As soon as he was fully inside me,  he came.  Normally I would have thought it was a case of premature ejaculation, but as he pulled out I heard him mumble, something I couldn’t quite hear, and somehow I knew that he’d come to expect sex to be nothing but minimalist procreation.  I went to the bathroom to clean up and when I came out, he was gone.  It was the oddest experience I’ve ever had, and I don’t just mean sexual experience. 

 

He had apologized when he came in the door and aside from instructions on taking off my panties; the only things he'd said to me were about loving the child.  I would have been devastated if he hadn’t come, but I was very glad he was gone.  I've said I don't cry, but when I heard the longing in his voice for a child, he promised never to see … well to use a tired old phrase, "I felt his pain."

 

That was a week ago, and my period is a week late.  I had been due to start the day after Col. Brown and I ‘got together.’  I talked to Dr. Dickson about it and she said she thought that an enzyme in Col. Brown’s body fluids acts like a fertility drug causing women to ovulate.  I don’t know abut that I just am sure I did.  Johnny and Edna are back from their honeymoon and she is pregnant.  So is Kristin, yesterday, just after midnight on her eighteenth birthday.  I keep trying to be unhappy about that, but I can't be.  We have the resources to raise that child, and any man that Kristin marries would have to accept a cuckoo in his nest anyway, so this might make it easier.  Honestly, I'm more upset that she'll be having a little girl than a little boy.  I had no idea she was sexual active.  Rodger has had a few bad days, I have had a few nightmares about what happened in the den, but none since Col. Brown apologized to me.  Call me Pollyanna, but I believe that tests that don't break you make you stronger.  We have three wonderful little girls coming into our lives that will truly be special, probably the top three babies born this year worldwide!  On the scales of my life, that joy is like a cannon ball and the pain is like a feather.  The only one I really feel sorry for is Col. Brown.  I don't like him very much, but I do feel sorry for him.

 

 

 

 

ecurity prison for the first time, and she was scared to death.  Jerry had insisted that he didn't want her to see him in jail and he was sure he'd get probation for a first offense.  When he'd been dragged from the courtroom, all they'd had was a quick kiss.  Now she was about to see him for the first time since that day in a maximum-security prison, which wasn't fair either.  His sentence wasn't that long ... but this was the nearest facility to her home and he'd been assigned there.

Just two months ago, life had been perfect, if she'd only realized that.  Newlyweds, married for less than six months she'd had a mild case of PMS and her car had broken down on the way home from work during a scorcher.  The lows for the last week had been in the eighties Fahrenheit and the highs in the triple digits.

By the time she'd gotten to their brand new and oh so stylish home, she'd been in high dudgeon.  Jerry had a good job with an international importer, but she pushed for the lifestyle that her parents had.  Jerry couldn't say no to her and they were already deeply in debt.  Although her car was still in warranty, she stormed about being forced to drive "an old bucket of bolts" as she walked in the door.

Finding Jerry working on the computer while trying to fix dinner she announced in a fit of pique, "If you want in these pants, you're going to have to do something about getting me a decent car!"

She hadn't been serious;  it was the heat and the PMS.  She was sure he'd known she was kidding.  As drained as the Texas heat had left her, she didn't have the energy for sex, but she'd cuddled him to let him know she wasn't serious.  Therefore, she was astounded when he took her car shopping the next afternoon.  They owed more on the car than they could get in trade-in, but Jenny had always left those sorts of problems to Jerry.  They drove home in a new car and she was ecstatic, and even with her period due to start any time she was determined to give her hero his just reward.  She had just gotten undressed to join him in their bed when the police were pounding on their front door.  Jerry looked terrified and she relived the scene at least once a week in her nightmares.  Jerry had been arrested handcuffed and taken to jail!  He had sold drugs to an undercover agent to get her car!  It was so stupid, he'd discovered that his company was being used by smugglers, and had planned to go to the police, but Jenny's demands had drove him do something stupid.  What followed was a nightmare;  Jerry had to use legal aid because their credit was tapped.  He didn't want their parents to know and since he'd never even had a traffic ticket the PD assured him that he'd get probation if he pleaded guilty.

It didn't work that way.  The judge had just put his daughter in rehab, and gave Jerry to seven to fifteen years in prison.  Even with good time, it meant that he'd have to spend at least two years in prison!  After they'd taken him from the courtroom, Jenny hadn't even been able to see him at all.  For about a month, he'd been moved from prison to prison all the over the state as he went through evaluation and classification to determine which prison he'd serve his time.  He wasn't allowed visitors until he was transferred to his permanent location.  Although the closest to their home, the prison was still about a two hour drive.  Jenny had of course lost her car, the house and almost everything else because they'd had to declare bankruptcy.  She'd lived with a friend but had just found an efficiency apartment near the school she was teaching.  She was able to get a car, dilapidated and the air conditioning didn't work.  She didn't mind, but she wasn't making ends meet.  Jerry's letter talked about his desperate need for money to protect himself.  He didn't say much about what it was like, but Jenny could read between the lines that he was scared of being beaten or worse.  She put every penny she was allowed "on his books", but he was hinting that it wasn't enough.

As she pulled off the highway onto the road to the front gate of the prison, she stopped at a little in a line of cars.  At a guard shack, a half mile from the prison she saw guards checked under the hood and in the trunk making people get out of their cars.

"What do they think, someone wants to smuggle someone into here?" she thought, trying to control her temper.

When it was her turn, the guards were very polite and very impersonal.  Some of the signs posted near the shack were scary;  she had to agree to a strip search if it was required.  They announced that if she tried to pass any money or other contraband that she would be prosecuted and sent to jail.  Jenny was glad she and Jerry didn't smoke because it seemed that any kind of tobacco was also a felony.

After she was cleared, she drove on to the parking lot, parked her car and went to the little building that seemed to be the entrance to the prison.  She'd gotten a booklet in the mail that told her what to expect, but this was just so scary.  Looking through the glass doors as she approached she saw a little office incased in bulletproof glass and steel prison bars.  There was a line of people in front of it.  As she walked through the exterior doors an officer, who hadn't been visible stood from a little table and used a wand to check her for metal like at an airport.  She then had to pass her driver's license to another guard in the little office through a little tray like at a bank.  After that guard, a woman, verified who she was seeing and checked her name from a list, she passed the license back to her.

A heavy door of steel mesh buzzed open into a cage.  She walked in and closed it behind her.  Then an even heavier steel door slid open by an electric motor whined in strain.  As she stepped through, she found herself in a little caged courtyard created on two sides by the concertina topped double chain link security fence.  Concertina was everywhere, and it intimidated Jenny.  At a buzz, she had to slide yet another gate.  This, a section of the fence she had to close behind her.  Now she faced a long walk to another building where she went through the same process again before she was led into large room where prisoners wearing colored jumpsuits visited with their families.  Jenny was terrified, any of those men could grab her, she didn't see any guards in the room.  Then Jenny was appalled to see young children in the room, some sitting on convicts’ laps and she wanted to cry.

Going to the non-contact area, Jenny waited.  Finally, Jerry came to the booth with a phone on the both sides like you see on TV.

Jenny picked up the phone and the first thing that Jerry said was, "They are taping this and will listen to it so please be careful with what you say or they won't let you come back."

He looked good, but he didn't want to talk about where he was or what he was doing;  he wanted to hear about Jenny and what life was like outside.  He said that she was allowed to come once every two weeks and that next time would be a contact visit so they could talk without the phones.  Jenny was so nervous about being in the place that at first time seemed to drag, but her two hours were over before she knew it.  The one thing that Jerry had been clear about was his need for money to buy stuff at the 'commissary'.  Jenny understood that he was using the money to buy safety.

Two weeks later when Jerry came to the contact visit table where she was sitting, he looked awful.  He had bruises all over his face and she could see evidence of bruises on his body in other places as well.

After the one hug, they were allowed and they were holding hands across a wooden table she whispered, "Oh Jerry, what happen?"

"I fell in the shower but I'm okay, but I've got a problem and I need you to send as much as you can to my account or ..."

Jenny felt a cold chill;  she was sending more than she could afford already.  The only way she could send more would be to go back to one of their parents and Jerry had been adamant that she was not to do that.

"Jerry do you want me to go to my parents?"

"No!  Isn't there anything else?  I know my parents are tapped, no, I'll just have to figure out something, don't worry about it."

But he was so upset that Jenny was terrified, "Jerry are people going to hurt you?"

Jerry looked grim, "One of the gangs offered me protection for a thousand a month, and I know we don't have that.  An officer saw ... when I fell in the shower, he broke up the ... he said I had to make a choice if I wanted to be one of the good guys, or a hardhead.  I'm not sure what he was talking about but I'm going to see if I can't get him to help me."

But Jerry wouldn't say any more about it.  They'd talked, but Jenny had watched episodes of Oz and she was scared that her husband was going to have to be someone's bitch.  She managed to hold her horror in check and gave him her best kiss when it was time to leave.  She didn't pay too much attention when another woman joined her as she was leaving the meeting room and went through what she now knew was the main building sally port.

As they walked toward the front gate, the woman turned to Jenny and said, "I saw your husband, I know a way that you can protect him if you are willing.  If you want to hear more about it follow me when we leave the parking lot.  I'm in a big red pickup, you can't miss me.  I'll buy you an early lunch and I'll tell you what's going on and how you can help him."

The woman seemed nice and seemed to know what she was talking about and before she thought about it, Jenny agreed.  She spotted the red pickup as she pulled out and followed her to a local restaurant.  They got a table that was off to the side and as private as any in the place.

The woman repeated that it was her treat, "So order a steak or something good," and Jenny did.

After the waitress left Jenny, who was a teacher wondered if she could get a part time job as a waitress to earn some extra money for Jerry.

"It won't matter how much money you pay for protection, it won't be enough!  There are too many gangs and just plain bad guys in there to buy them all off.  Your man has two choices, he can join a gang and probably count on getting in trouble and earning more time, or he can become someone's pet.  Either way his life is going to be hell.  He's not that big so even if he joins a gang he'll still be a bitch, and that breaks a man for life."

It took all Jenny's control not to burst into tears right there in the middle of the restaurant.

"Then what can I do?"

"First eat your lunch then take a little drive with me, I don't want to talk about it here...  you won't be asked to do anything illegal, but other people might get into trouble if the wrong person heard about it."

The woman, a very pretty Hispanic named Maria, kept up a light chatter as they ate.  She was a nurse and had two elementary school children;  she didn't say what her husband was in jail for, and Jenny didn't ask.  By the time lunch was over Jenny felt very at ease with her;  Maria did understand what Jenny was going through and had given her a lot of tips on how to handle problems.  Jenny wasn't at all uneasy about getting into her truck and they drove off.

"Jenny, you saw what happened to your husband.  What you don't know is that he was attacked by a gang that wants to rape him and use him as a drug runner.  They'll let him alone if he can pay them off, but that's just a ploy to see how much money they can get out of him.  They'll keep upping their demands until he can't meet it then they'll do it anyway.  I know, my husband went through the same thing.  If he tries to fight he will end up with a knife in the gut or maybe dead.  That happened to my husband too.  Like your husband, he wasn't part of the gang scene and didn't have connections inside.  You've got one hope and that's to get him special status as one of the 'good guys'."

Jenny had heard the phrase, "How do I do that?  What do I need to do?  I don't have any political connections ..."

"Those would help, but the answer is that there are some guards who will protect him and let it be known that he's one of their 'good guys', protected.  You can't believe the power those guys have when they are willing to step a little outside the system.  They can give cases that mean loss of privileges and longer sentences and they can make it stick.  They can make gangs back off all sorts of things.  These are honest men, but they can't protect everyone, because the way things are set up, they have to stick their neck out and if they get caught, they'll get reprimanded.  If you are willing you can probably get them to protect your husband, but it will cost you too."

"I don't have much money," Jenny said, "but I'll try to raise all I can, I'd rather pay a guard than a gang ..."

"That would be bribery and if would get the men fired;  besides they wouldn't do that anyway.  No, what it boils down to is this, they'll do you and your husband a favor but you'll have to do a favor for them."

Jenny was puzzled;  she had no idea what kind of favor she could do, "What?  I'll do anything I can to help."

"Will you?  Will you do anything?"

Jenny caught the word and she felt a cold chill flow through her veins like her blood had been replaced with ice water.

"What do you mean?" she asked, but she knew what Maria was saying.

Maria didn't say a word she just kept her eyes on the country road they were driving on.

Jenny bit her lip, "Do you mean what I think you mean?"

Maria didn't look at her but said, "Your husband is going to be forced to provide sex to a lot of men;  he's going to lose his manhood in the process.  It's not pretty, it's not nice, it's not the way it should be, but it's the way it is.  The way I see it, the only one who should be providing sex to men are women, and if the only way to keep my husband alive is for one of us to have sex with men, it shouldn't have to be him.  It'll cost me less than it will cost him and I want him back.  Juan was my third lover, I never wanted to have another;  when he gets out in two years I won't ever!  But I know he will be getting out in two years because he's safe, he's protected and he's getting great reviews by the guards.  He also has no idea what it's taking for that to happen.  He thinks that several of the guards have taken a special liking to him.  Actually, they've taken a special liking to me.

"This is your choice, you can make it at any time, but the longer you wait the harder it will be for him, and from what I heard he's due to be raped in the next week unless you can come up with a lot of money to a gang member on the outside.  I was told he's thinking about getting protection by joining a gang, but they'll rape him too, as an entrance requirement so there's no protection from it there either.  They just won't beat the shit out of him first.  You need to make up your mind.  You don't know my last name, and this truck has borrowed license plates.  If you do manage to track me down, I'll swear that I took you to lunch to give you a few tips and we drove around so we could do some more talking.  One other thing, if the word goes out that your husband is on some guard’s special shit list it will be very bad for him.  The point is you can't blackmail these guys, they aren't breaking the law, but if they stick their neck out they want you to be as cooperative as your husband will have to be if they don't."

Jenny burst into tears and Maria pulled the truck over and took her in her arms to comfort her.  She kept saying that it wasn't that bad, that she felt pride in protecting her husband and that the men were nice.  When Jenny got her emotions under control she realized that Maria was right;  if one of them was going to have to have unwanted sex it should be her, it was her fault that he was in there.  Maria was probably right it would be easier on her, her body was designed for a man his wasn't.  The image of Jerry bent over or having to take another man's cock in his mouth was too horrible to contemplate.  It would be noble for her and sordid for him.

"How do I know that no one will ever know?"

"Think about it, they are more interested in having this quiet than you are.  I'm not sure whose idea this was in the first place;  I think it was probably a woman's.  think about it, if you knew who to go to, wouldn't you make the offer?  The problem is that most of the women who have men in there aren't much better than their men, and aren't reliable.  A woman who works the streets wouldn't hesitate to do it, but she also wouldn't hesitate to try to blackmail the guards either.  You've been checked out, just like I was, like the other women were."

Jenny shivered, realizing that she was considering doing this.

"What would I have to do?"

"When you come to visit your husband you'll spend a nine hour shift at a place they have.  You'll entertain eight men during that time, you'll do anything that your husband would be forced to do, that means anal sex.  Have you done that?"

Jenny shook her head;  she was still hung up on the idea that she'd be with eight men in one day.  She'd never been with anyone but Jerry!  The idea of anal sex repulsed her;  why a man would want to use her that way was beyond her, but she also knew that it would be much easier for her than for him.  She remembered a conversation when Jerry marveled that she liked having his cock inside her.  She knew what it would do to him to have to let someone do that to him.  Jenny bit her lip, she felt bile in her throat.  This was horrible, but how much worse it would be for him and he'd probably have to submit to even more men.

"Is that all of them, eight men I mean?"

"No," Maria replied softly, "there are about sixteen or twenty, but you won't have more than eight, maybe less, per shift, but I've got to tell you the total numbers don't make any difference.  What difference does it make how many there are?  You'll be doing it for eight hours and I think it's easier on us to have several men, since if it was just one man you might get attached or dependant on him.  This way you know what you're doing isn't for him and it can be fun in a funny way.  I mean I would never come up here on my own, but because I do, I have no temptation to cheat either.  I don't like some of what I have to do, but ...  I can't say if I didn't do this that I wouldn't be tempted and that would be so unfair to Juan.  I won't pretend that this is a perfect solution, or that I would ever be tempted to have an affair with some of the men I take into my bed, but in the right circumstances I might with several of them.  I do enjoy some of it, which was a surprise to me;  like I said I wasn't very sexually experienced when I started this.  I can also tell you that what I do here I leave here, when Juan does make it home, he'll find me as chaste as I've ever been.  There's an unreality to what I do here;  I mean I have orgasms, I'm a very active bedmate to these guys, but I never make love, I fuck them.  I never knew what that meant, but even though it can be a lot of fun it's nothing I would ever be able to do with someone I loved.  These men have used me in ways that Juan never has but they'll never get even a little of what Juan gets from me.  Look, I know what you're feeling right now, I'm just trying to tell you that as a bad as it is, it beats the alternative your husband faces.  Are you going to help your husband?"

For several seconds Jenny wondered why she didn't think this wasn't some sort of scam, but she didn't doubt what Maria had said.  Suddenly, Jenny felt like the air was being sucked out of her lungs, and at the same time that her whole body was being compressed in some sort giant vacuum bag.  This was all her fault;  she hadn't even had a chance to make love to him.  He'd never said anything about her threat, and it was a poetic justice that she would have to use what she'd denied him to protect him.  She didn't understand how Maria could make a difference in what she'd done with these men and what she did with her husband, but that gave Jenny an excuse to smother some of her last reservations.

"When would I need to do this...  ?"

"There's no time like the present.  Today the shift starts at two and is over at eleven, that will put you home a little late, but you can spend the night here if you want.  I know that I always spend the night after, or before if I'm going to have to do an early shift.  The early shift starts at six and is over at two.  Don't looked shocked at the times, the guards work twelve-hour shifts from six to six and they like to have fun at the end of their day.  Besides, it gets us home at a decent hour too.  They have a three-bedroom trailer out in the country and we use two of those rooms for what we do;  the third one is where we can sleep, there are single beds in there.  If you need to call someone who might be worried about when you get home, you can call and say you're having some minor car trouble and will have to spend the night.  Next time you have to bring your own sheets if you use one of those single beds, but I brought extra for you just in case.  Later you can use the excuse to anyone who might ask that you met a friend from here who lets you spend the night so you don't have to drive up and down on the same day.  There's a phone there you can give people if they need get in touch with you.

"You knew that I'd agree?"

"What woman wouldn't?  I mean I thought I'd feel bad about making the offer;  I've never done it before, but I don't.  I'm not trying solicit you;  I'm just giving you an option to help your husband.  If I knew another way to do it, I'd take it myself.  There's another woman who is scheduled to have your shift, now she'll get a break.  We're always looking for someone suitable because it means fewer shifts for all of us."

"How often do you ... do you have to take a shift?"

"Basically twice a month right now.  If you join and another woman we'll talk to tomorrow joins we might be able to drop down to once a month.  You'll have to take a shift the next time you come anyway, all the guys will want to dance with you;  that's what we call a session, a dance, by the way.  I think you should spend the night;  you probably shouldn't drive home alone after your first shift.  If you do stay, I will be here with you, if you'd like.  You'll probably need someone to talk to."

Jenny felt her whole body cringe;  this was just so casual, she was in the process of doing something that she never in her wildest imagination thought about doing and she felt like things were spinning out of her control.  The idea of driving home after what was going to be done to her was beyond her.

"I don't think I could drive home alone after a ... shift."

"Okay, there are some things we'll need to get for you;  I'll buy them for you, the guys are really sweet about covering all our costs for this sort of thing.  They'll even pay for your birth control.  Are you on the pill or do you use a diaphragm?"

"I'm still on the pill, I got the type to help my complexion, but I thought I'd stop after this month."

"They have a doctor up here, one you'll get to know later, who'll write a prescription and who'll do exams and handle anything that you might need that's related to what you do here.  I'm an RN and I'm going to take a blood sample now to drop off to have it tested to make sure that you don't have anything that anyone needs to worry about.  Everyone has that done at least once a month, especially the guys, but I've been doing this for four years and no one has ever failed a test.  The women all love their guys in prison or they wouldn't be doing this.  Everyone is getting all the sex they could want so there's really no reason to go looking for something outside the setup."

She pulled over to the side of road, reached into the glove box, and pulled out a kit that had the needles to take her blood.  Jenny held out her arm;  Maria put that rubber hose thing on her and in a few seconds, Jenny felt a little prick and looked to see a little tube filling with her blood.  The next second she removed it, and put a little Band-Aid on the stick place.  Jenny had no doubt that Maria was a very good nurse.

"Okay let's drop this off and we'll go by and get some of the other stuff you need.  I have a cell phone if you need to call someone about why you won't be home tonight."

Jenny shuddered, "Can I call them later?"

She didn't want to make the decision so final.  Jenny was very aware that she'd never said she'd agreed to do this, but there didn't seem any point in resisting at this point, but none of the dread and near terror had left her, she told herself that she could always back out before she did anything, but it didn't hurt anything to see how things went.

Maria took her car and told her to meet her at the local Wal-Mart.  Jenny drove and waited for Maria to appear.  She knew she'd taken the blood sample, and wondered who would do the checking.  Once in the store they went to the drug section where she got two little hot water bottles, some douche mix, two tubes of K-Y jelly, some disposable razors and shaving cream.  Jenny was afraid to ask what any of this was for, and as Maria continued to buy odds and ends, the only question she asked was what kind of mouthwash and toothpaste Jenny used.  Later, she also asked Jenny's size and giving her a hundred dollar bill and her keys to the truck, sent her to the check out line while she then went over to a different part of the store.  When Jenny paid for the items and headed for the truck, she felt a wave of great fear.  She was standing numbly in front of the passenger door when Maria returned with a bag that had something in it but Jenny couldn't tell what it was.  It was now almost 1:20 and Jenny was getting very nervous.  This was still not real, she couldn't believe that she was about to get into truck and go to some sort of love nest where she'd 'entertain' eight men doing things she'd never done before.

Her sense of dread and nerves that was like nothing she'd ever felt in her whole life.  Her hand was shaking so hard that she couldn't get the keys into the truck door.  As she stood looking at the door of the truck Maria took the keys from her hand and opened it for her.  Jenny had decided not to go, to turn around and get in her car and drive off, but instead she felt like she was being sucked into the truck.  It was as if her energy was exhausted and her only choice was to accept the help Maria was giving her.

When she got in Maria handed her one of those sleep masks and said, "Jenny, put this on and lie down on the seat, these guys have to be very careful and until they trust you and that won't be until after your next shift when they've all been able to dance with you.  Come one we need to hurry just a little bit to have time to get ready."

Jenny put the mask on and lay down on the seat.  She bit her lip and wanted to cry, but couldn't.  It seemed like a few minutes before they were driving at highway speed.  There were a couple of turns, then she slowed down to a crawl, and Jenny felt them go over a cattle guard.  The road if it was a road was now rough.

There were a lot of twists and turns but she slowed and Jenny heard her say, "You can sit up now and take the mask off we're here."

Jenny saw that they were in front of a perfectly normal looking mobile home.  They were down in a little hollow surrounded by trees.  The only thing that looked out of place was a large carport.  It was large enough to hold four cars and there were two cars and a truck in it.  She couldn't see a public road as trees blocked the view.  As she looked back at the mobile home, she was horrified to see a fenced area full of children's play equipment and toys that looked used.  She whipped around to look at Maria;  the idea of doing this while your children played in the front yard was so inappropriate that she was outraged.

Maria, saw the look and said, "The kids who come are all very young.  They have no idea what is going on and we make certain that they never see anything they shouldn't, but some of us can't always find someone to take care of our kids when we have a shift, or want our kids to see their dad.  If someone has to bring her kids, there's always someone here to take care of them.  They don't see their mom dancing or anything like that;  they don't even know their mom is here.  They think it’s a day care place.  I've had to bring mine when they were younger and they had a blast.  The only downside is that it can be weird to hear your kids playing while you're dancing, but I've found that it helps remind me why I doing this.  Come on in, I'll introduce you to Liz, she's the one who's shift you'll be taking."

Again, Jenny allowed herself to be led but her mind was screaming, "I've never agreed to do this!" but another part was saying, "You owe Jerry this!  If these women can do it so can you, besides it won't hurt anything to just see what the set up looks like."

She had to admit she was curious to see what a setup like this looked like.  Someplace in the back of her mind, she expected to see red velvet curtains or perhaps Playboy pictures plastered all over the place.  What she saw was perfectly normal looking place.  The furniture was probably what came with the mobile home;  it was coordinated and didn't look too cheap.  She could see into the kitchen and it was clean and appeared to be fully furnished.  It looked like nothing other than an upper end mobile home that many of Jenny's students lived in and that she'd visited several times.  She knew that she'd hoped that the setup would be so offensive that she'd find the will to flee.  Instead, there was nothing to indicate that it was what it was.  There was a woman Jenny guessed to be in her late twenties or early thirties sitting on the couch.  She was dressed in the same type of clothes that Jenny was wearing.  The kind of clothes you'd wear to a job interview where you wanted to look good.  It shouldn't have surprised Jenny;  it was what the prison guidelines said you should wear.  She'd been warned not to wear anything that anyone might consider provocative since she would not be allow in if she did.  She'd worn a nice pants suit as had Maria.  Liz was wearing a very stylish dress one that would have looked appropriate in any boardroom.  Jenny couldn't imagine either of the women doing what Maria said they did.

Liz said, "I'm glad to meet you Jenny, we're always glad to have someone new.  I was hoping you'd join today.  No one minds doing our shift but I don't think there are any of us who look forward to one.  If I hurry, I can make my daughter’s volleyball game.  I didn't want to miss it, but I couldn't find anyone who could trade with me.  I'm so glad you decided to join us.  Let me fix you a pre-shift drink, what will you have?  They have every kind of booze here you can think of."

Jenny desperately wanted to say that she hadn't agreed to stay or decided to do this, but she couldn't seem to make the word get out, instead, she said, "Could you fix me a Rum and Coke with a lime?"

She didn't drink much and this was one that Jerry had fixed for her several times that wasn't bad.  It might calm her nerves.  She watched Liz go into the kitchen and in just a minute returned with her drink.

She drank about most of it in one long sip and then it hit her, "How did you know that I would be here, that Jerry would get beaten up?  How do I know this isn't some sort of scam?"

Maria replied, "I wondered if you'd think of any of that.  I told you that these guys are in a position to help you, they are what are called rank.  There are two of them here right now;  you'll be able to meet them when … if you go in there, and they will give you the assurance you'll need.  Your husband has been on the edge trouble almost from the day he hit the system.  He's been able to buy his way out of trouble but it was clear that he was getting to the end of his rope.  They ran a check on you and did a full check on your resources.  Remember these men have access to all the stuff that police have.  You were checked very carefully because they don't want to take any chances.  Normally they'd wait a couple of months, but your husband is balanced in a razor's edge.  They don't want him to either get involved in gangs, or to become a bitch.  These are good guys and they do hate to see an inmate get messed up.  You know that's true or you would have asked earlier.  I've been told that your husband only has a few days left before they move on him, if you don't agree I'll take you back to your car and you can see the changes in him the next time you come.  You have a choice Jenny, you can leave or you can let Liz go to her kid's game and come back to the bathroom with me and get read for your shift."

Jenny felt her stomach twist into a very tight knot;  she didn't have any doubt that the women were telling her the truth.  Both women were looking at her intently, but it was neutral expression they weren't putting pressure on her, they just wanted to know what she was going to do.  She started to ask Maria what she would do when she realized how redundant that question would be, Maria was here to 'work a shift'.  It was possible that this was some sort of scam, but if it was, she was a victim not a perpetrator.

"Has it protected your husbands?"

They both nodded and Liz said, "I know that every woman who comes here feels guilty about some of the things we did that resulted in our men being in prison, but I feel good about what I do here to help him, even if he'll never know.  Just the fact that I want to leave right now is a pretty good indicator that I'd rather not do it, but I also have to say that I'd do a lot more than this to keep Jim safe and it has kept him safe.  He'd been here about three months when I joined, he was being beaten and there had been two attempts to rape him.  I didn't know all of that at the time, he thinks that he was just lucky that he was transferred to library job and made friends with a guard.  He thinks he's getting special help because of that friendship, but he's being protected by a lot more than that one man, and I'm the reason.  At first I was afraid that it might be hard when he talked about people helping him, that it might be hard not to let him know what I know, or that I know the men he talks about better than he does.  It was also hard to learn that there are things I can't help him with.  When he breaks a rule I can't shield him, and he's gotten in trouble a couple of times.  It's hard not to warn him when I know he's messing up, but that hasn't happened too often.  He's a good man who messed up.  That place is a hell hole, and I can't change that, but I can keep the monsters off him and if that means doing what I do, I can tell you I'm proud to do it!"

Maria looked deeply into Jenny's eyes, "I know this is hard, I know how you're feeling, I remember my contact and my first shift.  I don't know anything about your sex life, but I can tell you it's going to be expanded beyond anything you've ever imagined.  You've made up your mind even if you wish there was some other way.  Why don't you tell Liz she can leave and see her kid play?"

Jenny was terrified, she could feel the edges of panic seeping in.  Both women looked sympathetic but Liz also looked hopeful, not eager, just the way a woman would look who wanted to see her kids play and wanted some time off.  Jenny took a long pull of her drink, she couldn't form words, she nodded yes.  Liz looked very grateful, grabbed her purse, and went out the door.

Maria handed her a little pill.

"This is a very mild tranquilizer the doctor gave me.  We have your medical history, it won't knock you out, that would defeat the purpose, but it will take a bit of the edge off later.  Take it."

Jenny didn't even think about it as she swallowed with the last of her drink.

Maria then said, "Jenny let me tell you how this is going to work, because it's going to be a little different from what you might have thought.  Normally we don't spend all our time in the bedroom.  These are good guys and we're not prostitutes.  Normally we spend some time out here visiting and just catching up on what's happened since the last time we saw each other.  We don't always end up in the sack, although it is always sexual too.  This is an anything goes place, it's a place where we role-play and we will do anything the man wants us to do as long as it doesn't leave a mark on us.  Is that clear?  If he wants you anally, you get it ready with K-Y and bend over.  Almost all of them will want you that way from time to time;  if it bothers you just remember that it's a hell of lot easier on you than it is on you husband.

“Second what happens here stays here we don't know these men if we see them on the street or at the prison.  If you get in trouble or need help don't call them is that clear?"

Jenny, fighting panic, nodded.

"Today there won't be much beyond sex and some talk, but because you're new the men will be in the room when you get there.  When you walk in, they are going to ask you if you are there because you want to be.  Of course, you'll say you are, because it's the truth.  Later when you're not so nervous, we'll make a video tape that isn't the full truth for their protection.  They have enough protection and rank that they wouldn't be fired if this little setup came to light but it would hurt their chanced for promotion.  The men each have us for forty-five minutes, although they don't have to use the whole time and most don't.  You'll be dancing in that room over there.  Each of the dance floors has a backdoor to the outside that the men will used to come and go.  When you hear that big clock chime the hour you will go into the room, and you will be ready!  Then some guys will want you to come right back out here, and talk and get to know you, and some might have it at attention and want you to come right over and take it in you.  You will let them be in charge, and you will do what they want.  Now, that clock chimes every fifteen minutes and the man will be out of the door at the third chime, you will have fifteen minutes to get ready for your next dance.  You will get clean and fresh so that if a man wants to go down on you he doesn't get an indication that you might have been dancing with someone else.  You will use douche like you've never douched before.  You are also going to shave your pubic hair off.  Guys like us better that way.  Don't worry you'll have plenty of time to grow it back before your husband comes home, you'll have several months warning even if he gets early parole.  That's about it, let's go to the bathroom and I'll help you shave;  I could tell from your expression you've never done it before."

Jenny had never had a panic attack, but she didn't see how it could be any worse than what she was feeling right now, as she let herself be led to the bathroom.  It was much larger than she would have thought.  It had also been modified, there were two sinks and a long counter where two women could apply their make-up side by side, but there wasn't anywhere to sit.  There was a large shower and Jenny could see that it was setup with two showerheads on hoses so that two people could take separate showers at the same time.  There was also a linen closet that Maria opened to show that it had a place to hang clothes as well as a huge stack of towels and washrags.

"We don't have to do the wash;  they have someone who does that for us.  We do need to change the sheets after each time, but you just drop the old one in the laundry room.  The fresh sheets are in the closet in there.  Take your clothes off and hang them here and I show you how to shave your pubes.  I'm an OB nurse and I do this every time a woman comes in to deliver.  It's not hard and once I've shown you how you'll want to do it at home before you come up.  Go ahead get undressed we're running a little late."

A big part of Jenny was still convinced that she wasn't going to do this, even as she began to unbutton her blouse.  She was a little surprised that she didn't feel more self-conscious about getting undressed in front of Maria.  Jenny surmised that it was because Maria was a nurse and there was a certain clinical aspect to her persona as she was getting the shaving equipment she'd bought at Wal-Mart laid out.  When Jenny finished unbuttoning her blouse, she put it on a hanger and unbuckled her belt.  Jenny began trembling as she took her shoes off, then unzipped and stepped out of her pants.  There was a surrealistic element to everything as Jenny hung her pants on the other hanger.  As she reached behind her to unhook her bra, her fingers palsied.  She used every ounce of her willpower to get her bra off;  she couldn't muster any more to remove her panties.

"Take your panties off and wash your pubic hair with soap;  I'll be using shaving cream, but the wetter it is the better.  We don't want to nick anything and have you bleed all over your first dance partner."

Jenny didn't know if it was the tone or the image of making a mess, something she hated to do, that galvanized her to take off the panties, soap up a washrag and begin to wash the area she'd been instructed to wash.

She'd just rinsed off the first soap when Maria said, "Okay hop up here on the counter and I'll show you how it's done."

Jenny did, and Maria, explaining what she was doing, proceeded to shave Jenny from her anus to her waist.  She didn't leave a single hair or stub.  As Jenny watched as her genitals took on a prepubescent look.  Maria had handled her skin, moving it to allow her to apply the shave cream and to shave it, but as she inspected to see if she'd missed anything Jenny was suddenly struck by just what she was doing.  She wanted to cover her parts and her breasts with her hands like those cartoon images of women suddenly undressed.  The only reason she didn't was that she was too embarrassed by what she'd already done to show how it was affecting her.  As Maria inspected her down there, Jenny's grip on the counter turned her knuckles very white.

"Okay, have you ever douched before?"

Jenny shook her head.

"Well I'm not going to have time to show you now, but I will before your next dance.  Now, this is our best friend," she said holding up a tube of K-Y, "These guys aren't making love to us, we aren't wives or girl friends, we're here to make them happy not the other way around.  No one expects you to be turned on unless they work you up to it and I doubt anyone will try today.  So use the K-Y to replace what nature would normally provide.  Always put this in just before you go on the floor ... that's as in dance floor, that's what we call those rooms, or the beds in there.  It's a minor thing but it helps.  We have to lose any inhibition we've ever had when we go in there, and that's what you do on the dance floor.  Anyway, no one's going to be upset if they feel K-Y in you when they play finger games.  The only thing you have to be careful about is that nothing that goes into your anus also goes into your vagina.  The guys won't do that to you, you just need to worry about what you do.  You can get a very painful set of infections if you mix and match;  well actually it doesn't hurt to have something go from your vagina to your anus.  Just make sure nothing goes the other way, that's why you have two douche bags and two tubes of K-Y.  Always make sure that you have both places ready when you go in there, but for heaven's sake wipe your butt so if they bring you back out to the living room you can sit on the furniture without making a spot.  Go on lube up.  I'll mark the other one as the one you are to use anally by scratching off the 'Y" you can think of the 'K only' as for your Keister, that's German for butt."

Jenny had always been a tiny bit submissive and even though she blushed harder than ever before in her life, she accepted the tube of K-Y.  It had a little tip on it that would let it be inserted into her.  She was breathing very hard as she guided the tip to her entrance.  It was cold on her now naked skin but she had no difficulty getting it inside.

"You've never used this before have you?"

Jenny’s head gave a tiny shake, and knew her face achieved a new level of red.

"Just use a very little bit inside, you'll form some natural lubrication there and you don't want to be too slick or they won't feel you at all.  Just take what you wipe off the tip and wipe it around the entrance, that's really all you need.  Now the anus needs more, about what you'd put on a toothbrush, but you need to make sure the sphincter is well lubed.  Hang on and I'll show you."

While she had been talking, Maria had been getting undress as well.  When she finished hanging her clothes, she went to a little bag and pulled out two tubes that were about half used.  She squirted a very small amount on her finger and then proceeded to put it between her legs.  She then put a larger amount on a finger of her other hand and Jenny watched as she put in inside her bottom.

"At least she didn't turn around, bend over to show me." Jenny thought.

"You said you'd never done anal, neither had I, but like I said most of these guys will expect that.  It doesn't have to be too painful.  The hardest thing is that when they start to push in, you have to push like you're going to the bathroom.  I know it sounds funny, but it's the way you do it.  Once they're in, you can relax;  it'll be tight but it won't hurt much.  Do you understand?  Good!  Now I bought this for you today, think of it as your dancing clothes."

She held out a short nightgown.  It was sheer but not as daring as Jenny would have thought.  She was grateful to have something to put on, watching Maria prepare herself for sex had been unpleasant to say the least.  As she slipped it on over her head, it seemed that what she was about to do receded a little.  She watched as Maria slipped on a similar outfit.  She had been careful not to look at Maria's pubic area, but now she caught a glimpse of it.  She was shaved as well, and it looked strange;  Jenny had never seen a woman who shaved before.  Maria had a lot of hair, and even in the quick glance, it was evident that her pubic hair covered a large area and was probably very thick.

"Jenny, we have bathrobes in each room, big heavy things, which you will wear if you are outside the room.  If there are any kids here, you won't leave the room if they are in the living room.  If they have to be inside they'll be back in the other bedroom most of the time, and they will always be there during the fifteen minutes you have to clean up.  The men will not be seen by the kids at all, that's why they have the back doors.  You're lucky you don't have kids in a way, but it also helps remind me why I'm doing this."

Chapter 1- The First

"Okay, I know you're nervous, I'm nervous too.  Take your K-Y tubes in with you;  there's a little table in there that you can put them on.  We've got about six minutes before we have to go in, but I suggest you go now, the major won't keep you the full time and you might want to talk when you've finished your dance.  I'll be out early too and I'll show you how to douche.  So, take a deep breath and let's go dance."

Jenny was so nervous and so scared that she didn't think she could move, but Maria's hand on her back directed her out of the bathroom and escorted her to the door of the room she was told was going to be her 'dance floor' Maria opened the door into the room, pushed Jenny in, and closed it behind her as soon as she'd stepped past it.  It wasn't a large bedroom, but there wasn't much furniture either, just a TV/VCR with a stand, the bed and nightstand with a light on it.  The overhead light was on and it was very bright.  There weren't any windows;  instead, there was a door where a window had been.  All of that Jenny took in by peripheral vision, all she saw was a man sitting up in the middle of the bed.  He had the covers over his waist, but he wasn't wearing a shirt and he looked very naked.  He lifted up the covers with one hand and patted the space beside him with the other.

Jenny didn't know where the strength or the ability to walk to that bed came from, but without being aware of moving she was there.  As she began to get in, she was aware that she was clutching her K-Y tubes so hard it was a wonder that they hadn't burst.  She put them on the nightstand and got in bed with the stranger.  She tried to sit up next to him without touching him, but she felt his arm behind her drawing her to him.  She didn't intend to resist, but she was so tense that her muscles locked.  He responded by scooting down and making her do the same until she was flat on her back.

He leaned over her, and whispered in her ear in a gravely voice, "Spread your legs for me."

Jenny felt tears form just behind her eyes and turned her head away from him.  He leaned further over her;  Jenny could feel his erect penis on her right leg.

 "Spread those legs so I can fuck you."

The gravely voice was totally unemotional, and Jenny felt her first tear fall.  He pushed his body against her, silently demanding she do what he'd asked.  Jenny opened her legs in response;  she was unwilling, almost unconscious, but it was a demand she knew she had to obey … it was why she was here.

The man moved over her, on top of her, but holding his body above her, touching her but not using his weight.  He used his knees to force her legs further apart.  As the man held most of his weight over her Jenny was very aware that in scooting down, her nightgown had bunched above her waist.  She felt the naked skin of his crotch on hers and she was paralyzed.  She couldn't move, couldn't breath.  He was rubbing her with his body on top of her now, and using his thighs to spread hers.  Jenny's tension was beyond anything she'd ever felt in her whole life, but she just couldn't seem to respond to what was being done to her.  She wanted to close her legs or push him off her but instead she lay there with a sense of dread that couldn't have been greater.  Her legs were now wide apart and worse there was a man between them.  Jenny knew she could be entered like this, but her legs were flat on the bed, her knees weren't raised and deep down she hoped he wouldn't be able to get it in her like this.  She felt his dick search for her opening, sliding in her gash, slick with KY and that slickness felt so unnatural.  His face, with a hint of stubble, pressed against hers in a violation almost as great as that of her crotch.  It was too intimate, the rubbing of cheeks was too personal, and she desperately wanted to pull away.

"Put it in for me."

Jenny felt weight of the words, far heavier than the man's body.  She couldn't, she just couldn't.  She gave a small vigorous shake of her head to say no, and to make him move his face away from hers.

"Lift your knees and put it in.  It's why you're here, now do it," he said, not angry or even forcefully almost gently.

Jenny couldn't, she just couldn't do it.  She was right of the verge of saying so, when he levered up and grabbed her legs at her shins.  He pushed them back towards her body, and opened them more at the same time.  Jenny was paralyzed, his organ was now near her opening, and unless she did something, it was going to enter her.  He brought his own hand under her now raised knee and with a little seeking, found her place with his finger.  Then he used his hand to guide his organ to that place.  Jenny stiffened, she mentally screamed at her body to move to leave, but instead she was motionless.  Her traitorous muscles refused to her command and she felt the head enter her body.  She wanted to retch, but although her stomach contracted, nothing came out.  The man was working it into her now, pushing more of his unwelcome self inside her.  There was a sharp little pain as some of her skin was pinched and her body shifted to make his entry easier.  More of the thing moved inside her, and her body shifted again to adjust to his penetration of her special place.  Then his bone bore down on hers in the way that announced he was fully inside her.  She felt her most intimate part encompass him, and she felt the shape of him inside her.  She also felt the tears running down both her cheeks.

Never in her wildest dreams had she ever thought any man besides Jerry would ever do what this man was doing to her.  She didn't want it to happen, even now, but she'd done nothing to stop it.  She'd never felt this way before, in all the times she'd made love to Jerry.  She didn't want that thing in her and yet it was now inside her.  Aware that she was breathing very hard, very fast, with her face turned she was staring at the KY jelly tubs that she'd used to make this horrible thing possible.  She now felt the weight of the man on top of her.  She realized that she didn't know what he looked like, and she didn't want to!

She was about as cold sexually as it was possible to be as he began to move in and out of her.  The only movement she'd made was to adjust so that the penetration didn't hurt, but there wasn't much discomfort now that he was fully using her.  She immediately tried to shift her focus, her thinking away from her crotch.  She didn't want to feel what was being done to her.  None of the tenseness had left, if anything her dread had increased.  As hard as she tried, she couldn't remove herself from her body.  She felt the organ inside her, the weight of the man on top of her.  She could hear his labored breathing, and smell him.  The only sense that wasn't full of the man was taste.  She brought her thumb to her mouth and chewed on her fingernail, a habit she'd broken in the 7th grade.

She heard a new sound, the squishy liquid sound of her crotch as he moved in and out of her.  She felt the forced intimacy as his hips pressed against her inner thighs.  The man began to move very fast now and Jenny was horrified to think that he was going to put his seed in her.  It had always seemed messy when Jerry did it, but she'd also always rationalized that it was proof that she'd pleased him.  Now, she didn't want to please this man and he was going to mess in her anyway.  She felt him tense, and he slipped an arm under her and hugged her to him.  He moaned in her ear and pushed deep into her and she knew that he'd done it.  All she wanted now was for him to pull it out of her and to go away!

Instead, he pushed deeper into her and wiggled getting a new tactile pleasure from her twat, and making her breasts shake against his chest.  Then he released her and supporting himself on his elbows, he pulled her face around so she had to look up at him.  He was a very old man!  He was at least fifty;  he had gray hair and everything.  Jenny began to squirm to try to turn away from him.

"Jenny, you've done it, whether you ever thought you'd ever do something like this or not, you have done it.  You've walked into a room with a man you've never seen before and you spread your legs and fucked him.  You can't run away and you can't change it.  The only question now is whether it's going to do any good."

Jenny felt a wave of panic seize her, not do any good?

The man continued, "If you think this is what we want from you then you need to think again.  I could get better from a whore for less than twenty bucks.  I don't expect you to love me, I have a wife who does that, but I expect you to show your gratitude and that isn't what you just did.  I know this was your first time, and it's okay, this once, but if you can't do a whole lot better than this I don't think this is going to work out for either of us."

Jenny was hyper aware of the man's penis inside her and so anxious to get it out of her that it took several seconds for the impact of what he was saying to sink in, this could have been for nothing!

"No, please you have to protect him, please."

"Jenny, we're going to protect him as long as you do your part, but this isn't your part.  I don't want a place to jack off;  I want a woman who is as much a part of this as I am.  Now, this wasn't the way I want to do it, but I did it because it was all you could do to keep from bolting out of here and you didn't want to do that either.  We have a deal you and me, I'm going to protect your husband's ass and you are going to show me and others how grateful you are by giving us yours.  Are you grateful?"

Jenny had always been very truthful and had frequently opened her mouth before engaging her brain, "I don't think I should have to do this to protect my husband!  That's your job!"

"No, Jenny, my job is to keep dangerous criminals from escaping!  Your husband is one of them and his asshole's safety is his own worry.  Even if protecting his anal virginity was my job, letting it be known that I would personally make it hard on anyone who hurts him is certainly way beyond that, don't you agree?"

Jenny was confused, and very aware that this man was still inside her, but she did understand that Jerry needed extra protection, he was basically a nice guy and if he was well built and strong she had no illusions that he could protect himself against the animals she'd seen when she been in the visitation room.  Her emotions where fluctuating wildly.  The only thing she knew with certainty was that she wanted his thing out of her and she began to squirm in an attempt to make it come out.

"Stop it!  Jenny, I want you to feel my cock inside you.  You don't like what you are, but you are what you are!  You are a woman who will fuck other men so that her husband doesn't get raped.  That doesn't make you a whore, or a bad person.  I happen to think it's admirable to do this but if you are going to be successful in protecting your husband you've got to accept what you are doing.  I'm the oldest and most experienced man here.  If I don't like how you're acting, how do you think some of the others would react when you act like you think we belong where your husband is?  I can tell you right now that none of us wants you like this;  we'll just let things go.  You've earned a few days protection and that's all you'll get."

Jenny felt a new kind of desperation well up in her, she couldn't let what she had done be wasted, "No!  Please!  I'll …  I'll …"

She broke down and cried, she was aware that she wanted to be held and comforted.  Slowly it dawned on her that this man was doing that for her.  She even forgot for a little bit that his cock was still inside her, until he rolled off her onto his back and pulled her onto her side and her face into his chest.  Jenny continued to cry for several minutes before she was aware that she'd relaxed in his arms.

She felt floaty, a little detached, 'Probably the pill,' she thought.

Giving the man a small kiss on his chest she said, "Thank you for that.  This is so hard for me;  I've never been with another man before and I never thought I would."

"Are you better, are you prepared to do what you need to do?"

Jenny tried to take a mental inventory, she felt awful, she had no desire at all, but she was grateful that he was being so gentle with her.

"I'm going to do my best, I owe Jerry …"

"Shush now, I don't want to hear about your husband or any of that;  we both know why you're here and why I'm here.  The question is can you do this?  Are you enough of a woman to do what you have to do?  To keep your word?"

Jenny had prided herself on always on keeping her word and being fair.  It was a weird sensation to understand that it meant …  doing this.  She took a deep breath, she had already done it, all the names anyone might have wanted to call her applied now and even if she walked out now she could never pretend that she'd been a faithful wife …  He seemed to read her mind.

"I don't think you're being unfaithful by the way, just the opposite and your husband will never know.  The question is are you going to have a good attitude or are you going to make it so unpleasant on yourself that no one wants to help you?"

Jenny was hyper aware that she was pressed up against this naked man, a man who had just used her sexually and she appreciated the kindness he was showing her, it wasn't what she'd expected and while it was going to be worse to be an active partner than what she'd done, she had done it and she'd never been one to cry over spilt milk.  Besides, she knew that she owed this to Jerry and, as awful as it had been, she'd do more to keep him safe.  As much as she wanted to make this an exploitation of her, she had to admit that it wasn't his job to protect Jerry and if you looked at it that way, it was hard to say who was exploiting whom.  She still didn't want to do what she was doing, but she was certainly feeling a little better about it.

As she felt a wetness between her legs as his stuff leaked from her down there, she blushed but thought, 'He's right, I've done it and that's the proof.  Maria was right too, what woman wouldn't do this to protect her husband?’"

She relaxed a bit more;  this man had a fatherly feel to him, he looked older than her father and that made her feel less used because he hadn't been passionate when he was doing her …

"Jenny, I want you to tell me what you've agreed to do, not been forced or tricked, but agreed to do."

Jenny swallowed hard, that was the point, she had agreed to this and she'd done it, "I agreed to have sex with you."

"What does that mean?  Was that what you did just now?"

"No." She said very softly.

"Besides it was more than just to have sex wasn't it?  It was to be an anything goes girl, to role play, to do fantasy stuff, basically to do anything I or my friends wanted wasn't it?"

Jenny felt like she had when she'd been a little girl and her father had chewed her out for not doing a job he'd given her right, but had tried to cut corners.

"Yes it was," she said even more softly.

"So what do you think you should do to make it better for me?"

Jenny had never made love more than once in a day even on her honeymoon, and the idea that this man might not be finished with her just didn't cross her mind, "I'll do a lot better next time you come.  I'll try to do whatever you want.'

"What about this time, are you ready to show me how well you can give head?"

Jenny was shocked, she pulled back to look at his face, "You mean now!  After …  I felt your …  you finished right?"

She was mortified, but perhaps because she didn't expect to have to do anything else she was still relaxed.

"Sure for right now, but I think I might like to get a 'feel' from you, do you mind if I play with your tits?"

Again, Jenny was caught totally off guard.  She was aware that her breasts were pressed into his chest, but it wasn't sexual at all.  He waited and after a second, Jenny realized that he wanted her to shift positions so he could feel her up.  Somehow moving so that he could fondle her breasts, seemed more intimate than having let him put his cock in her, and she averted her face as she adjusted.  When she felt his hand on the outside of her gown moving her breast, she swallowed hard.

"Look at me Jenny;  you're a part of this!" he said as his hand closed in on her breast.

Jenny looked back at him and she knew that she was giving him the kind of permission that she hadn't when she'd let him put his thing … his cock inside her.  It was uncomfortable, but she watched his face as he began to manipulate her boob.  He first cupped it to feel its size then began to feel it, in an almost non-sexual way just to see how it felt;  then, gradually it became sexual.  After a few minutes, Jenny had no doubt that he was using her body, getting pleasure from her breast … using her.  Even so, when she felt his hand move down her stomach toward her twat, she started to grab it.  She caught herself and she saw him arch an eyebrow in question.  Jenny felt her body shiver at what she was doing but she adjusted her position, and lifted a leg so that he would be able to touch her down there.  She wanted to run away because she was embarrassed, but perhaps because they'd already had sex or because he seemed so old she was able to hold her legs open for him while continuing to look him in the eye.

She'd expected him to immediately insert his finger;  that's what Jerry always did, but instead be began to gently trace his fingers over her skin.  His touch was light and for a second Jenny though he was seeing how well she'd been shaved, but as it continued Jenny realized that she was being explored.  She had never wondered if her parts were different from any other woman, but now she did.  This man had obviously had other women in his bed,  Jenny did the math, if there were two women per shift, and she only had to come twice a month, that would imply that there were at least eight women involved here and he'd said he was married.  This house had the feel of something that had been going on for many years and there had probably been a lot of women.  Jenny was shocked to find that she was concerned that she might not be right, down there, different somehow, but she couldn't bring herself to ask.

Jenny tried to read his face to see what he was thinking as he touched her, she was afraid that she might be being graded … and found inferior.  At the same time, she was trying to figure out how she felt about being touched so intimately yet so impersonally.  She looked off to the side unable to watch the man who was using her any longer.

"Jenny, look back at me.  I know this is hard on you, but you need to get it through your head;  you're a sex toy, or in my case a marital aid.  You can't let yourself get embarrassed by what we do to you or what you do to us.  This is going to be minor compared to some of the things that some of the guys will do to you.  I know that someone will be bringing toys for you to masturbate with this afternoon.  We'll all see every inch of your body;  including as much of your insides as it's possible to see without cutting you open.  I know some guys are into bondage but I don't think anyone today wants you to spank them or whip them.  That's some of what you do for us, things we can't do at home.  What's more, we don't want your opinion of what it is we do with you.  I've never fucked my wife's ass.  It would never have occurred to me to ask her to do that when she was still sexual;  I would have been too afraid that she might think less of me.  But I'm going to fuck yours, in a little bit.  I've never had her suck my dick;  I wouldn't ask her to do that, and since she's a lady she'd refuse if I did ask.  You on the other hand will not only suck a lot of cock today, you'll swallow if a guy wants to cum in your mouth.  You have sucked cock haven't you?"

Jenny knew her eyes had gotten wide as he spoke and she could feel her blush, "No, Jerry asked me once, but I wouldn't do that, it didn't seem dignified, not something you'd ask your fiancée to do."

"Like maybe only a girlfriend or a whore?"

Jenny felt her face burn she knew how red she could get when she was this embarrassed, and then she gasped as she felt his finger work its way inside her, and blushed harder still at what he was doing to her.

"Not a girlfriend either," she said before she thought about it, wanting not to feel his finger, but very aware of his touch, of his using her body in a way that only Jerry should be allowed to do.

It was only after she'd said it that she realized that she'd just admitted that she hadn't been a virgin when she'd married and Jerry had stopped asking her to do that long before they'd married.

"Well you're not a whore, you're a party girl, and party girls suck cock don't they?"

"I guess."

"Look Jenny, I know that given your choice you'd be a lady, you wouldn't be here, in this house letting me finger fuck you but it's only here, in this house, that you have to be different and it's only temporary, when your husband gets out you can be a lady all the time.  For that matter you can be now;  you just can't be one here.  That's not so bad is it, being a party girl in secret to protect your husband?  Didn't you ever in your heart of hearts want to know what it was like for the wild girls?"

Jenny had thought about it, she'd fantasized about it when she masturbated, she'd even had a dream about it recently, which had shamed her when she woke up.  The way he'd put it didn't sound like all that much.  What Maria had said about what happened here, staying here made more sense now.  Lying here letting him play with her twat was so out of character for her as to be almost as if she was another person.  Why not?  It wasn't like she had a choice anyway;  she was going to have to do all this stuff.  Wwhat if she let it all go up here?  It'd probably make it easier for her.  She took a deep breath and tried to relax as the finger moved in and out of her.

"I don't know how a party girl acts."

"A little like you're acting now, anything goes;  the only difference is that it's also okay with her.  You're letting me finger you, but you're not okay with it yet.  Why not?  You know you're going to do all sorts of things today, why not just let it all go?  I once read that a woman should lose her inhibitions when she takes off her clothes.  You don't have anything to feel guilty about, not really, and if you play out your own fantasies here, this place can be no more real than a dream.  You can go home and be the person you've always been, but here just pretend you're the person you might have been had you ever gone wild."

"I don't know how to do that," Jenny said after a short silence.

"It's easy, you do it and you don't think about it.  Start right now, fuck my finger and practice talking dirty about what you're doing.  Normally I don't like to hear my partner talking dirty but some guys do and you need to let go."

Jenny thought about it, and felt the finger moving in and out of her like a small penis.  She took another deep breath and decided to try, it sounded better than anything else she might do.  She understood that if this was going to do Jerry good she had to do better than she'd done to this point.

She began to move her hips on the finger that was inside her and said, "Do it to me with your finger."

"Jenny I've already fucked you and I've got my finger inside you, I've felt your tits and you're going to suck my cock in a little bit before I fuck your asshole.  Now tell me what you're doing and what you're going to do and be dirty about it, use the words you never use."

Jenny blushed at the thought of what he was going to do to her but she was trying and hadn't stopped moving on his finger.

"Fuck my cunt.  Push that finger up my pussy.  Get me good and wet for a hard dick!"

Jenny blushed again, but this time it was because while the words continued to sound artificial she could understand how the action might not be.

With more sincerity, she said, "Fuck me deep inside my pussy, suck my tits, make my nipples hard."

"Lift up your gown," he said as he leaned over her.

Jenny lifted up her gown, showing her breasts to only the second man in her life.  When he took her right one in his mouth it felt very good.  He also did something with his finger, deep inside her pressing up against her bone from the inside, and it felt incredible.  It was a place she'd never been touched and when she realized what was happening she thought she ought to feel guilty.

To cover that guilt she said, "That's it fuck me there,"  and it had been spontaneous.

He took his mouth from her breast and for the first time he kissed her.  He kissed her like she'd never been kissed before.  Jerry had kissed her with passion, but this was an impersonal, sexual kiss that demanded a response from her and she gave it.  He pulled her down on top of him and when he broke the kiss, he pushed her head down toward his waist.  All that part of both of them was under the sheets, but he pulled those back and Jenny saw the second penis of her life.  It looked a lot like Jerry's.

'And it's been where Jerry's has been, but now it's about to go where no penis has ever gone before!' she thought and almost grinned.

She had to move and his finger came out of her, which she missed but as she leaned down over his cock, she closed her eyes and took it in her mouth.  She'd been apprehensive about doing it, but it had been easier than she'd imagined it would be.  It didn't have much taste to it, which surprised her.  When she remembered that it had just been inside her it surprised her more.  She knew she had a scent when she made love to Jerry, and that meant that she hadn't been 'excited' at all when he done it to her.  There was the slightest hint of what she knew was sperm, but it just tasted male.  She didn't know what to make of that as she began to suck on it going from soft sucking to as hard as she could to soft.

"Sucking cock isn't just about sucking it's more about licking and using your tongue.  Bob your head some but the more you use your tongue the better."

Jenny did and following his instruction as she played with the thing.  She also licked his balls and she understood why men might like it better if a woman was shaved.  She had just had that thought when he directed her to straddle his head and she knew she was about to do something else she'd never done.  His tongue seemed to ignite a fire in her and after a few minutes, she realized that she was hoping to get the thing in her mouth hard!  Somehow, it was liberating to know that she was being turned on by a man older than her father.

It wasn't until she let him use his hands to spread wider, thus giving him easier access to her that she realized what he was being allowed to see.  That was something else she'd never allowed Jerry to do, to look at her down there.  It was at last confirmation that she was able to put 'Jenny' aside in this place and be someone else.  She would never be like this with Jerry, but this is what these men wanted and judging from how she was acting, she was going to be able to do it.  The thing in her mouth was getting hard now, hard enough to go back into her and she was wondering if he was going to cum in her mouth or use her twat.

"I think I'm ready to try your ass now."

He pushed a finger into her anus and moved it around.  Jenny was so startled she didn't react for a few seconds but then just remained motionless while he rotated his finger back there.  The reaction was so unlike her that again, she wondered just how strong that pill had been, but if it was helping her to get through this, she was glad she had taken it.

"What do you want me to do?"

She was feeling nervous, but it wasn't as bad as when she'd first walked into the room.

"You know it's going to hurt, there's not much I can do about that.  I might be the only one to use you this way today, but you can count on everyone doing you here before too long.  I would strongly recommend wearing a butt plug as much as you can between now and then.  I know we have some here and you can take one home with you.  For now, what I want you to do is let me up.  I think you'll need to put a little more lubrication back here," he moved his finger around in her anus so that there could be no mistake about where he was talking about, "When you've got this all lubricated, I want you to use your 'K' tube to get me greased up so that this is as easy on you as it can be."

She crawled off him and she blushed as she got the tube and put some stuff on her finger and rubbed some on her anus.  She then pushed the nipple into her rectum and gave it a little squeeze.  A part of her was marveling that she was doing this in front of a man, but immediately rationalized that he'd already had her and had seen everything that she had down there better than any man ever had.  Her doctor might have seen more of her, but her doctor was a woman.  What's more, he was the one she was doing this for.  A portion of her brain just couldn't accept that she was being so casual about this, as she reached for his penis.  She put a little on her fingers and began to run it up and down the organ.

'He's getting ready to put this in my bottom, and it's going to hurt;  I should be more bothered by it,' she thought;  aloud she said, "What do I do now?"

"I want you to kneel down on the edge of the bed, spread your legs as wide as you can, then spread you ass cheeks so I can get a good look at your asshole."

He had to help her get in the position that he wanted, with her knees on the very edge of the bed and her legs hanging off.  Jenny had never imagined that she would ever be as open as she was even before she reached back to spread her bottom.  He had her spread wider and arch her bottom up, and as obscene as the position was, Jenny couldn't believe how untroubled she was.  In her mind's eye she saw her anus thrust up, begging to be used and was untroubled by the image.  He had her hold that position for a long time, long enough that Jenny begin to want him to get on with it;  it was just plain undignified to kneel like this exposing her anus to a man for his use.

"Talk dirty for me Jenny.  Tell me what I'm going to do to you and beg me to do it to you."

"You're going to put your dick up my asshole, you're going to literally fuck the shit out of me.  I'm going to hold my bottom open for you so you can see my asshole so you can stick your cock in it.  I'm going to work it for you when you get it in me."

Again Jenny marvelled that she was so casual about what was about to be done to her.  Somewhere deep inside she knew that something was wrong with her attitude but her response to that knowledge was to be grateful that she could do what she needed to do.  She felt some dread as she waited for him to push into her.  She felt his hands on her hips, close to her own hands.  She felt his penis touch her nether hole, and as she had been instructed she tried to push out as she felt the tip of it enter her.  As Jenny felt it push into her it was very strange sensation;  it wasn't as painful as she'd thought it was going to be, but it did hurt … a lot.  It felt a little like a large bowel movement, the kind she'd had following a spell of constipation, and she hoped she didn't get anything on his … his cock as it slowly entered her.  Again, a distant and tiny portion of her mind screamed at what she was allowing to be done to her.

"Keep pulling those cheeks open for me babe.  How does this feel to you?"

Jenny knew she was breathing hard, the pain was acute, but it was bearable.

"Just don't go too fast, let me adjust to this.  It feels strange to have that there.  It's not as bad as I thought, you can push in a little more if you want, but please go real slow and let me adjust."

He did push in and Jenny felt her anal muscles expand some more, but now that the head was in her it was easier.  He continued to push slowly until she felt the pressure of his hips on her cheeks.

Jenny squealed, "Wait, wait, please for god's sake wait a minute, let me adjust, please!"

He did stop and Jenny felt her orifice throb as she tried to relax the muscle spasm he'd created.

As it subsided, Jenny took a deep breath, but before she could say anything, he asked, "What do you think now that you've got all of it in you?"

"I certainly know that you're in my ass.  It's very different but not like I would have thought;  it's kind of a good feeling …" he pulled almost out and pushed back in softly, "not yet … please not yet let me adjust," she gasped, but the pain she'd expected at the movement hadn't been there.

Instead, she felt possessed in a way that she never had when Jerry had made love to her.  She almost liked the feeling, it was comforting in a way.  He remained still in her for about a minute and Jenny decided to see if movement would hurt.  She began to move her hips in such a fashion that would correspond to him pumping into her.  She was aware that she was very slick back there from the K-Y, that there was no resistance to his movement, and now that her muscles seemed to have adjusted to his entry there wasn't any pain, just a sensation of being stretched out by him.  She couldn't decide if that was a good feeling or not.  For a second she wondered if she would be enjoying this if it were Jerry, then her mind shied away from the obvious conclusion that she would.

'What's important is if I can enjoy it with these men,' she thought.

He began to move with her and in a few seconds his movements weren't gentle, he was pounding her hard enough that it was difficult to hold the position she was in.  She was being pushed down.

"Okay I want you to use both hands to play with your pussy, work your clit or whatever you do, but I want you to let it go.  I also want to feel your finger in your cunt with my dick in your ass."

Jenny didn't want to touch herself while he was inside her, but she did as she asked.  Normally she didn't use both hands to masturbate, but normally she didn't insert a finger either.  When she did this time, she could feel the cock in her rectum and she was unable to deny that it was extremely sexy.  She had never masturbated in front of Jerry;  to do so now turned her on in a way that she couldn't understand.  She felt her sexual tension rise and all of what was being done to her began to blur as she built to an orgasm.  As she came, she was aware that he had pushed hard into her and knew that he was coming in her at the same time.  She'd never had an orgasm when Jerry was inside her, or during sex at all for that matter and the irony of her first simultaneous orgasm was not lost on her.

As she unwound, the cock in her bottom took on a different feeling, more like what one would feel when going to the bathroom and she had the greatest urge to try to push it out like she would if she were on a commode.  Following her impulse she did, and was surprised to hear a sound of pleasure from the man.  She did it again and was rewarded with more positive responses from him as he snuggled into her;  pushing her flat on the bed, only her calves extending over the edge.  It was a nice feeling and she felt more relaxed than she had since she'd left the restaurant.  The clock chimed, it made that 'Big Ben' rising tone followed by the dropping tone that signaled the half hour.  Jenny couldn't believe that all this had taken so little time, and she wondered what he was going to do to her for the balance of his time.  As she finished that thought, that distant voice demanded to know why she was so calm about what was being done to her, but it was very easy to ignore.

He pulled out of her anus, walked over, opened the nightstand, pulled out a container of the wet paper towels, like you use to change a baby.  Jenny knew that he was cleaning his cock of any of her waste that might be on it and closed her eyes so she wouldn't see.

 "If you'll make space for me I'll join you for a few minutes and hold you if you'd like that, otherwise I'll just get dressed and hit the shower house on the way out."

Jenny thought about it for a few seconds and decided that she did want to be held and moved over so she was lying on the far side of the bed.  As she scooted across the sheets, she could feel her anus.  That's how she thought of it, she was aware of her anus, and that it had sperm in it.  It burned a little but not bad, mostly it just felt … she couldn't describe it, but it wasn't altogether unpleasant.  She made no attempt to cover herself or keep any of her sexual parts out of his view.  Once or twice she'd felt this way around Jerry, 'fucked' her mind provided, thoroughly 'known' in the old term by this man, with nothing to hide, visible in all her imperfections, warts and all.  He was welcome to see anything she had and her body was his to use if he wanted.  She liked the feeling but was surprised to find it now with a man whose name she didn't know.  Startled, she knew that was something she did want, she wanted his name but she hadn't known if she was allowed to ask.

He lay down next to her and idly played with her breasts, "You've got nice tits;  I thought you would from your picture but I'm glad to know I was right.  Do you have any questions you want to ask me?"

"Can I ask your name?"

"Sure, I Ray Rodgers, I'm an assistant warden out there.  I've been happily married for almost twenty-five years and my wife knows what I'm doing here.  She was in a car accident several years ago, had her privates messed up.  She can't have sex, a piece of the other car hit her between her legs and tore her up down there.  She had plastic surgery but it didn't work, so you girls are a way to allow me to release the pressure."

"Couldn't she do … what we just did, in back?" Jenny asked, touched and very confused, she was focused on Jerry.

She had done this for him but she was concerned about this man and his poor wife.  She hadn't found anal sex repulsive and had enjoyed it enough that the prospect of more didn't bother her.

"She was messed up there too, she can't go to the bathroom in a normal fashion, but I don't want to discuss my wife's problems with you.  What about you;  do you have any questions about how we're going to protect your husband?"

"I just have to trust that you will.  It makes sense that you do, or the other women wouldn't keep coming back."

Ray smiled at her, "That's true;  we can't give a hundred per cent guaranty because it's a very dangerous place;  there are a men in there who need medication and don't always take it.  One of those could decided on the spur of the moment that your husband is trying to kill him and stab him, but we can keep the predators and the gangs off him, and he won't ever find out either.  The biggest danger is that he might get to thinking he is some kind of tough guy, which we can't let happen, because even we can't make someone else back down to him.  If he starts going that way we'll see he gets a few lumps to bring him back to reality, but as long as you make this very nice ass available," he patted her on her bottom, "your husband's ass won't be.  If he gives us any opportunity by being a better than average inmate and you do your job well, we'll get him a good safe job in the library or hospital.  If you work especially hard and build up some brownie points we'll make sure he sounds like a second Chuck Colson when he goes for parole and he will go as soon as he is eligible.  If both of you work hard he should be home in a lot less than normal.  We have no sway on the parole board, but officer recommendations carry a lot of weight, especially from those of us who have rank."

As he'd been talking, Jenny had felt her emotions going wild.  They'd been told not to expect him to have much chance of parole on the first try unless he was a model prisoner and that very few could do that when they were new to the system.  They'd been told to expect that he would be in for at least three years and more likely four.  Gratitude and relief warred as Jenny leaned up and hugged him.  Getting Jerry home was the most important thing in her life and she had been so scared for him.  Despite what she'd been doing with him, Ray seemed like a 'father figure' and she believed him.  He would protect Jerry and that was the most important thing.  He hugged her back, but unlike her hug, his was sexual, he played with her crack.  That strange fuzzy intoxication from her pill was still at work because while she wanted him as a father figure his playing with her bottom didn't bother her.

"As much as I've enjoyed our time together, I've got to go.  You've done pretty well, show this kind of attitude to the rest of the guys.  It will take all of us to keep him safe, so you need to make sure everyone goes home satisfied.  You do and he'll be home before you know it."

He got out of bed and began to get dressed.  Jenny had never taken off her gown, but it certainly hadn't been in the way.  As she watched him dress, she felt slightly less wanton to have some clothes on, but she didn't know exactly what she was supposed to do now.  This was her second lover getting dressed, she was going to have more, but it didn't seem right to lie in bed and just watch him walk out, so she got out of bed and walked over when he was pulling his pants up.  He already had his shirt on, and Jenny wanted to give him a kiss for being so nice to her and all that he'd done to make this easy on her.  She moved close and when he opened his arm she moved into it gave him a peck on the cheek.  It was she realized the perfect gesture, she was completely available to him, he could do anything to her he wanted, but he couldn't make her want to kiss him on the cheek and Jenny decided that it was one of those things that she would use as her way of saying thank you.

"I look forward to seeing you next month Jenny, it'll be interesting to see how much you've learned by then."

"I thought I had to be back here in two weeks?" Jenny said confused

"You do, but you'll be in the blue room and you will be seeing those guys.  When you come back in four weeks, you'll be in here again and I'll see you then.  Until then you be careful and be careful when you drive home, don't have an accident or get a ticket, I can't help you with those by the way, I can't even help myself with those."

He shifted around and pulled her to him for a big hug, again, it was sexual, his hand going to her bottom.  She spread her legs to allow his finger to penetrate between her legs.  She'd have rather had a nice friendly hug, but kissed his cheek again anyway.  He released her, winked at her and was out the back door.

Jenny stood there for a moment looking at the closed door.  Awestruck that she'd just 'entertained' a man, and that she didn't feel worse about it, or the fact that she now needed to get ready to 'entertain' someone else.  Thinking about her bottom she had a fleeting thought that she hoped the next man wouldn't use her anally because while it had been pleasant, her anus was hurting a little right now;  it had been stretched too much, or at least it had that feel to it.

She also felt a desire to 'freshen up' down there, not a compunction, but about the way she'd felt about cleaning up when she'd made love to Jerry in the daylight.  She wasn't sure she was supposed to wear the bathrobe that was hanging on the back of the door if she was just going to the bathroom, but since the clock hadn't chimed the three quarters hour she decided to wear it.  When she got to the bathroom, she felt a need to move her bowels, hung the bathrobe on the back of the door, sat on the commode and pushed.  She felt something come out but knew it wasn't feces;  it was what Ray had put inside her.  Having sperm drip from her didn't bother her much, she was accustomed to Jerry's stuff falling out, but the feces that followed made her blush.  She'd assumed that she was 'empty' back there but if she wasn't then Ray had been wiping stuff off his cock and some how that seemed gross.  She wiped herself well, which was made more difficult by the presence of the K-Y but when she felt clean she flushed the commode and went to the sink to get her washrag to soap it up to wash between her legs.

The sight of her shaved genitals caught her by surprise, but thinking back to the way Ray's tongue felt in her she could see why if a man wanted to do that to her, he'd probably like it better than if she still had hair down there, which led her to think about what it had felt like to have his penis in her mouth with his hair on her lips.  It hadn't been as gross or as repulsive as she had thought it would be.  As she washed her bottom, she tried to understand what she'd just done.  She remembered what it had felt like to have Ray inside her;  mostly she thought about him in her anus, what it had felt like to lie there and let him mount her.  It didn't seem possible that she'd been able to do that, or that she'd been so much more acquiescent when he had done so much more to her later.

The door opened and Maria came in wearing the nightgown and without her robe.  Her lipstick need touching up, and her hair was very mussed.  She looked like she'd just been doing what Jenny knew she had been doing.  Jenny looked at her own image for the first time.  Her short hair was mussed and her own make-up needed to be touched up.  She had that "I've been doing IT" look too, and despite the calm she felt she'd achieved, she felt herself blush.

"Don't blush Jenny, you haven't been doing anything that I haven't been doing.  In fact, what we're going to do now would be gross if it weren't so damn practical.  Are you okay?"

When Jenny nodded that she was Maria continued, "The major is a sweetie;  I've never thought I could go for an older man, but if I didn't have Juan I might be tempted to try for him.  Some of the rest aren't as nice or as much fun.  The major makes sure I cum most of the time, and there are only a few who give a flip about that.

“We need to clean up and freshen our make-up at the same time.  Let me show you how to mix up a douche and then we will both need to use the commode while we fix ourselves up for the next dance.  Don't look at me like that, we don't have any secrets from each other, we talk about the men just like they talk about us.  For one thing, it helps us, but if our job is to make them happy the more we share the better job we can do, which means less work for us.  Here, this is the way you mix a douche, and we'll both be in here at the same time.  Otherwise we'd never get ready for our next dance in time."

She proceeded to show Jenny how to mix the powder in the two little hot water bottles she'd bought Jenny at Wal-Mart.  She took a permanent marker and marked the bag, hose and nozzle with black, writing a big 'K' on the first two and just painting the last with ink.

"I think you can figure out which of these are for which.  Now it doesn't matter which one you clean first, but if he used it, and I know the major always uses everything then you've got, clean it.  Of course, you can't really get sperm out of you, you'll be carrying the little things around for several days, but you can get clean.  It's more important to keep the vagina clean because about half the guys like to go down on us, bless their little hearts, but if you don't clean your rectum you can have leakage at just the wrong time, and men seem to get irrational about seeing sperm leak out.  I don't know why they hate to see anything come out of us when we know how much they love to put it in us.

"Now if you sit like this you can put the enema in and you'll be able to hold the whole bag.  Once it's empty take it out and push the fluid out.  Next time you'll need to do a regular enema before you get here.  Follow the instructions;  put it in the roll on the floor before you let it out.  We don't have time for that here;  these are just to clean out what they gave us.  The guys put these hooks up so you don't have to hold the bag.  You'll make some rude noises but don't worry about that.  You'll need to work on your make-up while I'm using the commode, then we'll trade.  Did you change your sheets before you came in?  We'll go do that right away, you'll find the clean sheets in the closet and a big hamper to put the dirty ones in.  Always change the sheets before you come in here, the guys have the clock down pretty tight, they won't come in until ten before the hour, and we have to be there on the clock chime, and they expect us to be fresh when we get there, so you need to be pretty quick about getting the sheets changed and out of there.  Let me get the rest of the enema in and I'll help you.  You can hold a whole enema by the way, as long as you don't have to hold it too long, at least a whole one of the size I bought you."

Jenny watched as Maria got off the commode and followed her back to the bedroom where she'd been.  As Maria help her strip the sheets, she noticed that there were some stains on them;  it looked like it might be feces.  Jenny was embarrassed that Maria was seeing evidence of what she'd done there, but they got them changed in a no time.  Maria also picked up her tubes of K-Y off the nightstand.

When they got back to the bathroom, Maria went right to the commode and it sounded like she had a bad case of diarrhea, and she did make some rude noises.  Jenny didn't have all her make-up with her of course, but she had brought enough to do the touch up that was needed.  It was only as she was putting the final touches to her hair that it dawned on her just why she was doing it.  In a very few minutes she would be going back into that room and entertain a man.  What bothered her most was how little the thought bothered her.  When it was her turn to sit on the commode and administer an enema to herself, she was very aware of what she was doing.  It didn't feel like everything she put in there came back out.  The douche felt good, but she also felt very wet, like not everything had come out.  She looked at Maria and saw her pushing gel into her bottom, which reminded Jenny that she needed to do that too.  There was a clock in the bathroom and it indicated that they only had a couple of minutes left.  Jenny hurried to apply her own gel, and then brushed her teeth and used the mouthwash Maria had bought for her earlier.  She was almost ready …

Chapter 2: Happy HubbyChapter 3: Let's Play

"You look great Jenny.  How do I look, ready to be ravished?"

Her tone let Jenny know that even if she'd been doing this for years she was still nervous about it.  Jenny marveled again, why she wasn't more nervous, it was there, but it was damped down almost distant.  She looked at Maria and saw Maria in a different light, she was very trim, and if she wasn't especially pretty, she was very well groomed.  Her figure was average;  in fact, there was nothing remarkable about her.  Nothing that would tell you that she'd just cheated on her husband and was about to do it again.  The nightgown wasn't outrageous, it had probably come off the rack at Wal-Mart and if it was a little short, it didn't scream sex.  Jenny had seen much more daring sleep wear in the dorms in college worn by girls who weren't even dating.  Just looking at her you couldn't tell that she'd just given herself an enema and a douche to clear out the last man's sperm, that she wasn't wearing panties and had her bottom smeared ready for sex.

"You look normal.  This is so unreal …" the clock began its chime

"Don't let it get to you, don't think about it let's go," Maria said and ushered them out of the bathroom as the clock began to strike the hour.

Again, Maria opened the bedroom door and ushered Jenny in closing the door behind her.  Jenny felt horrible dread but at a distance as she forced her eyes to the bed to see who the next man she would 'know' was and was surprised to see that the bed was empty!  Her eyes darted around the room to see if somehow she had missed him, but she was alone.  A wave of emotional relief washed over her.  Maria had told her that it wasn't uncommon for someone not to show up, but not to expect it today since she was new.  Jenny wasn't sure what she should do.  Should she stay here, or go back out to the living room?  If that little pill was building a wall between her and her emotions, it was also making her thinking a little fuzzy.  After standing, staring at the bed for at least two minutes she decided that she would wait in here for the next chime then she'd go back to the living room and … and while Jenny loved to read, she hadn't brought a book.  She made a mental note to do that next time.  NEXT TIME!  How casually she'd accepted that there would be a next time, that she'd accepted this whole setup.  She stared at the bed and images of herself spread out, her bottom in the air to be taken anally flashed through her mind.

She tired to get all her thoughts and emotions sorted out but it was like a task her father had given her once;  trying to put too many marbles into a net bag.  Just when she thought she had them all in the weight of the load would force the netting apart and a few would slip out.  Now as she tried to gather her thoughts random images or ideas would squirt out and she'd chase them down strange paths.  The one central thought was that she was doing this for Jerry, that she owed him.  She was down one of those paths when she was startled by the door opening and she couldn't stop a gasp, turning reflexively to protect her modesty.

"Sorry I'm late, my boy's playing in a game and I wanted to watch him at bat.  We're winning 4 to 3 right now;  I really get a charge out of watching him out on the field.  I didn't know I could ever get that kind of charge watching little league.  I don't have much time;  I told the wife I had to run an errand, so bring a pillow over here and give me some head."

Jenny had felt her mouth drop open at the idea that he'd left his wife and child to come out here.  The casual way he wanted her just to walk over there …

"Come on honey, I really don't have much time, bring a pillow so you don't hurt your knees."

Jenny was aware of a sense of panic but again, it was distant.  She was going to do it, what he asked, just go over there and take his thing in her mouth.  A distant part of her mind noted that it might be easier than having to spend a lot of time in bed with someone who would do this not only to her, but more importantly, to his wife and kid.  She got a pillow off the bed and walked over to where he stood.  She dropped the pillow on the floor in front of him and dropped to her knees, waiting for him to take it out of his pants.  When he made no move to do so, it slowly dawned on her that she was going to have to do that for him.  She reached up and unbuckled his pants and trying not to think about what she was doing, she unbuttoned them.  Her hand was trembling when she began to unzip him and she was unprepared for the pants to drop to his knees when she finished.  He was now in briefs, something she'd never seen before because her father and Jerry both wore boxers.  She hadn't noticed what Ray was wearing when he got dressed.  She reached up with both hands to pull them down and had to take a deep breath to hold in her courage.  As she pulled them down the thing almost hit her in the face.  He was already hard and Jenny moved to take it in her mouth before she could think about what she was doing.  She knew if she stopped to think she'd balk.

Unlike Ray's earlier, this one had a taste, and it took Jenny almost a minute of working her tongue around it like Ray had taught her to do, to realize that she was tasting another woman's fluid on him.  She pulled her head back knowing she was angry but again feeling detached from it.

"You did it with your wife …" she tried to let her anger show but he pushed her on the back of her head forcing it back into her mouth … and she let him.

"Yeah I love having you right after I've had Sue.  I talked her into a quickie just before we left for the game Buddy was already out in the car, she didn't want to because she's pregnant, but she's always horny too.  That's it run your tongue around it like that.  Buddy's playing second base today, he's already caught a line drive for a double play, and he's two for two at bat …"

He continued babbling about his child's baseball game,  about his wife's pregnancy and how much he was looking forward to his second child, who would be a girl.  Jenny wanted to scream at him to shut up that she didn't want to know about the people she was cheating.  It also made her feel like a piece of furniture instead of a human.

She could feel him getting tense and knew that he was getting close to orgasm.

She knew she had to let him do that in her mouth but she was wondering if there was anyway to avoid it when he said, "Good stand up and bend over I'm going to finish up in your ass."

Jenny didn't know if she felt relief or dread, she got up and took the four steps to the bed before he said, "No not over there;  here, just turn around bend over, and put your hands on your knees if you have to."

Jenny couldn't believe how undignified she felt as she did what he asked, just making her bottom available like this for such a jerk.  She felt him lift her nightgown out of the way and using his hands on her hips, he positioned her for his entry.  He used the tip of his thing to rub up and down her slit, using the wetness of her own saliva to get her wet.  Jenny felt the slickness of the gel as she felt him enter her.

She was surprised that he was in her vagina;  she'd expected him to use her anally based on what he'd said.  Again, she had the strange sensation of a cock going in her that she didn't want.  She again felt her body encompass his member and she cringed mentally and physically at the artificial nature of what was being done to her.  She was very slick, but she was not in the least turned on, it was about as sexual as putting a tampon put in.  He made a few motions to adjust to her so that he could get more inside and then he began to pound her.  She wasn't surprised at that pounding, Jerry had done pretty much the same thing the few times she'd let him take her this way.

In less than a minute, she felt him cum and a distant voice was saying, "How can you be like this, so uninvolved when you have a man inside you?"

She didn't have an answer.

Seconds later, he pulled out of her and said, "That wasn't bad.  Would you hand me one of those wipes on the nightstand, I want to get back to the game before I miss too much."

Jenny wanted to cry at what he'd done to her but she walked to the nightstand and handed him the wipes, then watched as he cleaned his cock and handed her the soiled tissue.  Then, and without another word he pulled up his shorts and pants, buttoning and buckling he walked out the door.  Jenny stood there looking at the closed door and she heard the clock chime fifteen minutes.  The whole thing couldn't have taken more than four or five minutes.  Jenny felt his stuff begin to slip out of her and held the soiled wipes between her legs to catch it.  She then walked to the bed and threw all of them in the little trash can beside the bed, but she could still smell them.  She decided to empty the trashcan and not really thinking she started for the kitchen.

It was only when she got to the door that she realized that she needed to put on the bathrobe.  Putting down the trashcan, she put it on and stepped out.  She was relieved to see that the living room was empty, she had a horror of coming out and seeing Maria and her current partner sitting on the couch making out or something.  She emptied the little trash can and took it back to the room.  She didn't need to change the sheets;  she'd never even touched them so she went to the bathroom to get cleaned up.  She felt dirty, filthy from what she'd just done, dirty and used.  She brushed her teeth then sitting on the commode, she gave herself a douche.  She looked at her image in the mirror and touched up her lipstick.  This time she didn't have that 'I've done IT' look.  Sshe looked like she did before she left for school, and would have been comfortable talking to her principal if she were dressed.  It was impossible to believe that she couldn't see any sign of how she felt about what had just been done to her by looking in the mirror.  Realizing that she didn't want to see herself in the mirror right now she went back into the living room.  As she passed the other bedroom she could hear sounds from the room;  Maria was making some of them, but mostly it was the sounds furniture makes when two adults use it the way it was being used.

Jenny went back to the bathroom, got a hand towel, and put it down to sit on the couch.  Sitting on the towel suddenly felt obscene.  Maria had talked about not making a spot on the couch, but Jenny had though that just meant the K-Y.  She now knew that with the enema and the douche she could leak those or the other.  She didn't think any of the men's stuff would still come out, but having to sit on a towel because of her bottom was full of stuff was mortifying.

Sitting there, Jenny couldn't help but remember what it had been like just a few minutes ago.  The smells of 'the Jerk's' wife on his member and his smells.  The image of kneeling there using her mouth on him, running her tongue around that thing, licking his hairy balls, and getting a taste of his sweat.  She grimaced as she remembered the way that he had pumped into her mouth, jamming the back of her throat, almost forcing her to gag.  But mostly, she remembered the nastiness of being intimate while he talked about his child's game.  Jenny hoped someday to see her own children involved in sports.  She'd been an athlete when she was younger, but the idea of Jerry leaving for a little bit to go see a woman made her skin crawl.  Her mind went to the time when she was bent over.  He had pushed her legs further apart and then stepped into her.  She could remember the squishy sounds they'd made as he pumped his thing in and out of her … as he fucked her!

It was suddenly clear what he'd done, he'd fucked her and she'd been nothing more than a warm place to put it!  He'd never asked her name or given his, he'd just he'd just shot his baby juice into her!  The very idea that it was possible to become pregnant from something so impersonal broke her heart and she began to cry softly, unwilling to accept that she was allowing this to be done to her.

"Oh Jerry, I love you so much.  I will get through this for you, but it's just so hard!" She said softly, and immediately remembered how much harder it was for him in prison and her part in that.

She found some comfort in that thought, then taking a couch pillow, she clutched it to her and let her mind go blank.  She was unaware of the world until the clock chimed of the half hour.  Rousing herself, she ambled back to the bathroom to fix her make-up from the damage done by her tears.  She looked at her image intently, but she still couldn't accept that she was doing what she was doing;  there was a lack of reality to it.

As she fixed her eyeliner, she had a strange thought, 'Would it have been easier for me if the last man I'd 'danced with' had been more personal?  I love Jerry, shouldn't that have made the way he did it to me the last time better, since I was so uninvolved personally?  Don't I want that distance?  Or is there something about doing that with a man, even one I don't know, that I want from it?'

She certainly felt like she'd connected with Ray on a more intimate level than just having had his organ inside her body.  He'd said she wasn't a whore, that she was good time girl, but that last man hadn't treated her that way;  he'd used her like you would a whore, and she wasn't!  She felt a different anger build, but damped, as all her emotions were.  She was doing what she was doing, but she didn't have to be treated like a street whore.  She didn't have to take that!

Maria burst through the door and dived for the commode.  As soon as she was on it Jenny heard what sounded at first like urination but when she passed gas at the same time she realized that she was releasing liquid from her anus.  Had her last partner given her an enema?  Why would any man do that?

Maria saw her expression, "I'm not sure you want to know … it's so gross, but … hell you'll might get one today.  He gave me what's called a Golden Greek.  He likes to party and the guy's an athlete, he really rides you, but it's fun in a way;  I almost always cum for him, but today he was also drinking beer the whole time.  Right when he was ready to leave he needed to take a piss and so he did."

It took several seconds for her words to sink in.

"He did it in you?"

Jenny had never been so shocked in her life.  Surely even a whore wouldn't allow that ?

"Don't look so shocked, there are lots of guys who like to do it.  I understand that some of the monsters out over at the prison rarely use a commode to piss.  It's actually kind of a fun feeling, once you get past the being used part, and your rectum won't get infected, the stuff is actually sterile.  There was a visitor once who tried to get one of us to let him do it in our mouth, but you don't have to do that, that could be a health risk.  I heard you out in the living room, Sam was doing that Jerk routine wasn't he?  Arrived with his wife's juice on his cock, talking about some activity of one of his kid's to justify a slam bam and no 'thank you ma'am'?  He loves to do that, I don't think he knows how it makes us feel.  When he can't get his wife before he comes over, or doesn't have an excuse, he's a nice guy and not a bad lover, but that's his fantasy, a mistress who loves him so much that she'll settle for the smallest crumbs.  I don't know for sure, but I think his wife wears the pants in that family.  Don't let it bother you, he's not using you like a whore;  I know it feels that way when you don't know.  What he really wants is for you to beg him for more of his time, to try to tempt him to stay and to tell him how grateful you are that he took time from his family to come see you.  He probably was as unsatisfied as you were about how it went.  I don't think he knew that there was someone new.  A lot of these guys get so into their fantasies that it's as if they're in a different world.  He'll make it up to you next month and be a nice guy, but keep in mind that these are rarely one-time sessions.  I mean sometimes a visitor will join us.  Generally it's someone who is checking us out to see if he wants to join our merry band.  Occasionally it's someone who works at a different unit and is making a trade."

As she was talking, she had gotten off the pot and was mixing up a douche and an enema.  She sat back on the pot and seemed to be taking both at the same time.

"Yeah you can clean both at the same time.  I generally prefer to do them one at a time, but I'm going to want two enemas to make sure I get clean.  You don't have to worry about infection from a golden, but there can be an odor buildup and I'd hate that.  You look nice, but you don't have to use your free time to get ready for your next dance.  If your dance partner leaves early feel free to use all the amenities here.  There's a great selection of CD's and a pretty good selection of movies, they generally have two or three new releases here for us to watch during our off time or if we spend the night.  They are nice guys;  just remember that you are here to fulfill their fantasies.  A good time girl who's willing to play a role, that's what we are.  If you do that, they are so grateful and that's great for your husband!

Jenny stared for a second then blurted, "This isn't personal to you is it?"

Maria face softened and she clamped off the douche and enema, stood and took Jenny into her arms.

"Of course it's personal, I have to play all sorts of head games to like the guys while they're dancing with me.  I have to suspend values, but we can do that, and they are good guys.  I could never take a man into my body without it being personal, and if I could I don't think they'd want me.  I don't give any of them my love, but I'm so grateful to all them.  I do think I could be friends with all of them … if I wasn't doing this, if I just met them someplace.  I certainly wouldn't consider having an affair with any of them … well there are a couple I might consider if I wanted an affair badly enough, but I never forget that I owe them.  Don't put your heart into it, but don't think that you have to just bend over and take it either.  You're a party girl, an anything goes girl, but every party girl wants something in return, and that's affection.  We'll do their fantasies, but we still deserve a kiss out of it.  It makes it better."

She sat back down on the commode and finished what she'd started.  They talked for a while with Maria talking about some of the fantasies that the men liked to do.  Most sounded pretty harmless, and many had a lot in common with what was just done to her.  Jenny didn't know how well she could have played the role Sam, that was the name of her third lover, wanted if she'd known it, but she would have felt a lot better at the time if she'd known what it was.

When the clock chimed this time, Jenny didn't have to be led to the bedroom.  She was resigned to what she had to do.  If she felt fear, it was still that fuzzy kind that seemed so removed, the distance welcome.  Walking in she saw a man in his early thirties standing there.  He looked her up and down in as frank an appraisal as she had ever had in her whole life.  Her first reaction was resentment that she had to allow some one to do that to her while she was dressed like she was.

His first words made it worse, "Aren't you a fine looked piece of pussy!  Prime grade A meat on the hoof, come on over here and let daddy get a handful of those blue ribbon tits."

Deep inside, but somehow separate, Jenny felt her anger boil.  She'd hated men or boys who made comments like this, and if this man thought she was just going to walk over there and let him cop a feel … two thoughts hit her as she saw his expression, the first was that he was playing a game.  He didn't look at all certain of her reaction.  Second, that even if she didn't want to, she was going to walk over there and let him cop a feel.  Then some fleeting expression confirmed that he wasn't being his real self, that this was some sort of game he wanted her to play.

Choking back her anger and determined to try to get through this 'dance' she said, "If you want to get your hands on these you're going to have to do some sweet talking or figure out something better for that nasty mouth of yours."

She was trying to be light and even coy, which didn't come naturally to her, but when he stuck his tongue out and flicked it she realized what she'd said!  She'd practically asked for oral sex and all she'd intended was to ask for a different kind of 'line'.

"Well come on over here and let me tickle your tonsils and see if that doesn't put you in the mood to let me tickle your titties."

Jenny took a deep breath and walked over to him, trying to get into the swing of things when it hit her that if she was a 'party girl' his invitation might have been nice.  He'd said he liked her looks and that he was willing to look to her needs too.  Trying to lock all her honest reactions deep inside her, she smiled and moved to kiss him.  She was unprepared for his kiss.  It wasn't just that he began by French kissing her, she'd expected that, but that his tongue was very active, and it felt good!  The feeling of her breast mashed against his chest was sexual in a way she hadn't expected.  His arms were very muscular;  in fact, all of him was muscular.  Jenny reacted to that in a strange way, she was turned on!  She'd had sex with two different men and had an orgasm but this was different, she could feel her nipples getting hard and she thought she felt some natural moisture forming between her legs.

When his hand went down her back, she let him push her onto his cock and it seemed as hard as the rest of his body.  It had been months since Jenny had felt anything like passion, she returned his kiss.  She felt his hand move down her bottom and she moved her legs to let him touch her there.  When he did, it ignited her and she pressed her body hard to him, grinding her pelvis against his cock in open invitation.  The whole kiss had lasted only a couple of minutes but Jenny was panting for breath when he released her.

"Well I found another use for my dirty mouth, are you ready to show me those fine tits you've been trying to push through my chest?"

Jenny didn't even think that she was taking off her clothes for a new man for only the second time in her life until after she had the gown off and was moving back to kiss him again.  The buttons on his shirt pressed into her skin and the buckle on his belt was uncomfortable, but his fingers between her legs felt wonderful.

Wondering if this was just the persona she was trying out, or if her emotions were real, she pulled back and said, "Isn't it time that you showed me yours, since I'm letting you play with mine?"

He practically ripped off his clothes, showing a passion that increased the current she could feel flowing between her legs.  Without thinking about it, she did to him what he'd done to her.  She looked frankly at his body.  It was hard and muscular he had to be a weightlifter, and his organ was larger than any she'd seen.

Jenny felt her passion continue to rise as he moved to her, picked her up as if she were a feather pillow and carried her to the bed.  He lay her down gently and moved over her to the other side.  He kissed her, then after a second, he moved to her breast and she almost moaned.  His finger entered her and she knew that she wanted more.  She pulled him on top of her and she spread her legs wide, bringing her knees up to make it easy for him to enter her.  When he seemed to have some trouble finding her entrance she reached between them and guided him into her.

His entrance was hard but not brutal, Jenny pushed up with even more force to capture his entire organ.  She felt herself stretch down there and had the 'joined' feeling she loved.  She was moving under him trying to grind her pelvis into his, to get pressure on her clit and got enough that she was close to an orgasm.  She didn't know that she was gritting her teeth and stretching her neck until he kissed her again and she clutched his back with both arms, wrapped her legs around his and lifted her whole chest off the bed to press up to him.

"I'm going to cum," he whispered hoarsely into her ear and she felt him start.

Her reaction was to grind hard up to him and squeeze him with her thighs, her vagina and her arms.  The pressure was enough to let her cum too and it was intense for the next thirty seconds.  When she'd finished she was horrified at what she'd just done.  Still, when he changed from a demanding to a tender embrace of her she returned it, tears welling from her eyes.  There had been nothing of Jerry in what she'd just done;  she'd had her own pleasure and for the first time she understood that she might have been vulnerable to someone who might want to 'comfort' her while Jerry was in prison.  She did like sex and she had missed it.  She was grateful that he'd given her what she missed and that she didn't have to feel guilty.  She had walked into the bedroom for Jerry, even if he'd had no part in what she did here.

"Are you okay?  Did you cum?" he asked, lifting up off her and looking her in the face.

At the same time, he flexed inside her and Jenny was embarrassed at her reflexive response, which was to squeeze to hold him inside her.  He continued to look down at her expectantly, until she blushed and was forced to nod.

"Are you as good at giving head as you are at fucking?" he asked his eyes so steady that Jenny knew she was going to have to answer aloud.

"I'm just learning how."

She tried to show with her eyes that she didn't want to have to do that right now;  having him inside her at the moment was pleasant and she just wanted to bask in the body tingles she was still feeling.  He seemed to pick up on that because he leaned down and kissed her gently while she snuggled up to him.  For several minutes, they lay joined, not talking but enjoying each other's bodies.  Jenny let her skin enjoy the touch of his hard muscles.  She ran her hands lightly over his back feeling his muscles ripple.  She'd never understood the appeal of the muscle-bound types to some girls but, as she felt his body in her, she had a random thought that maybe Jerry would do what so many inmates seemed to do and work on his body.  As soon as she had the thought she banished it, but she didn't stop enjoying the feel of the man on top of her.

It took her a little while to realize that he was getting soft inside her, and was about to slip out.  He lifted up and moved so that his legs were outside hers and of course that caused him to slip all the way out of her.

"Slide down between my legs and let me show you a great way to do pushups."

It took Jenny a second to understand what he was saying.  While the idea of taking that thing in her mouth with all their juice all over it was gross, the image of him doing pushups with it in her mouth tickled her.  She giggled as she moved down until her head was directly below the thing.  Reminding herself that she'd already done this with Ray and Sam she tried to relax …

Then her honest inner voice added, 'But not when you'd added anything of you to his mix and if Sam smelled of his wife, he wasn't still wet with her.'

Still, she opened her mouth to accept the slimy thing but giggled again when his pelvis came down on her head and she heard him say, "ONE."

He wiggled while he was down;  although the penis was too soft to do anything, it was one of the ways he'd moved inside her and Jenny laughed out loud.  He began to lift up and Jenny sucked with all her might to hold him down.  It didn't keep him, but she did make a pop sound when it was pulled from her.  Her laughter and her mood were lighter than at any time since that afternoon at the car dealership.  The taste wasn't as bad as she'd feared and making a game of sex was something she'd never done.

When he pushed down, she was ready to take it back in her mouth and as he announced, "TWO," she worked her tongue around the thing, making it bounce around in her mouth, playing with it, which would have seemed impossible even an hour ago.

A distant part of her was shocked at the idea that she could enjoy one of those things in her mouth of all places.  Again, as he began to move up, she sucked as hard as she could to hold him down and again it left her mouth with a loud popping sound.

The pattern continued, but when he reached twenty, she lifted her head up to keep it in her mouth and was very surprised that she wanted it to stay in there.  When he lowered down, she began to gobble him.  That was the only term she could think of, as she was taking it deep in her mouth and throat and this time when he moved his hips she knew that she was letting him fuck her face.  She just didn't care.  She was getting sexually excited in a way she'd never thought possible.

She wrapped her hands around his butt and felt the hard muscles flex under her fingers.  The maleness of his bottom was the sexiest thing she'd encountered in her life and she knew she was getting wet between her legs.  Jenny had thought that she enjoyed sex.  She had even thought that she was uninhibited with Jerry, but she'd never felt any particular interest in his penis once she'd seen it and knew what it felt like.  It was just the thing that he put in her when they had sex.  She liked the feeling of it inside her but that was a feeling she associated with being 'one body'.

Now she wanted this male thing that was in her mouth because it was MALE and she realized that even though she'd had more sex today than any two days in her whole life she wanted it to get hard and to fill her.  She sucked and she ran her tongue around it.  She stuck her tongue in the tip;  she tried to swallow it down her throat.  She felt her pelvis thrust up as his thrust down on her face.

Finally, when she was afraid that the muscles in her mouth could do nothing else, she felt him move differently and the organ began to grow rapidly.  In no time, it was too long to fit all of it in her mouth and it was more than hard enough to do what she wanted it to do.

"Aren't you the little wildcat once you get going, do you want me to fill your mouth with cum?"

Jenny didn't even hesitate in shaking her head no.

"Then what do you want me to do with this, put it in my pants and go home?"

Again, Jenny shook her head no, and blushed because she let herself mentally answer his question honestly.  No, she didn't want him to go home;  she wanted this thing back inside her, his weight and hard body on hers.

"Then tell me what you want," he said and pulled out of her mouth and in the same movement somehow pulled her up so that she was once again under him looking up into his eyes.

Jenny bit her lip and moved her legs to get them outside his.  To be open so that he might enter her, all the time looking up at the man with whom she was doing this.  When he didn't lower himself into her she tried to raise her hips up to him, but he wouldn't let her capture his cock.

"Tell me.  Say the words.  I want to here all of them."

Jenny didn't want to talk and tried again to capture him, but when she couldn't she said, "I want you."

"You want me to how, or where or to do what?  Put it in words tell me exactly."

"I want you inside me."

"Doing what?"

Jenny felt real frustration and said, "I want you inside me fucking me!  Okay?  Is that what you wanted me to say?  I want you to put your cock in me and fuck the shit out of me, now give it to me."

As she said it, she was trying again to get the organ inside her.

"I can't fuck the shit out of you if I put it where you're trying to get it.  So what do you want, your pussy fucked or the shit fucked out of you?"

"My pussy, fuck my pussy," Jenny couldn't believe that she was saying that or even worse meant every word.

"I think I'd rather fuck the shit out of you, I've already tried your pussy."

Jenny looked up at him and blinked hard.

"Okay, how do you want me?" she heard her voice say, suddenly realizing that right now she was more concerned with getting that thing back inside her than just where it went.

He let it sink all the way into her vagina in one long thrust and Jenny clutched him to her and kissed his shoulders.  Her whole body shook with the force of his thrust into her, but it felt so good that a moan escaped her when he pulled out.

"Wait, don't stop;  please, that felt so good."

"Turn over and let me try that beautiful little ass of yours."

Jenny didn't hesitate but turned and spread her legs for him while pushing her bottom up like Ray had taught her earlier.  He was no easier when he thrust into that hole, but it wasn't painful it was just filling and although she was horribly stretched she liked the feeling and the pain was good.  He kept his body raised so the only places their bodies touched was where they were joined.  He grabbed her hair and pulled her head back off the bed.

Jenny was a gymnast, she'd competed for the state crown in high school, and although she didn't win and didn't compete any more she still did her workouts.  Right now, it meant that she had incredible flexibility in her back and was able to arch back far enough to receive a kiss from the man.  The cock in her gut hurt but she was more interested in that kiss than in the pain.  She used her own arms to hold her position arched almost into a U shape.  She felt his hands on her breasts and when he pinched both her nipples she screamed into his mouth but didn't attempt to move.  Nor did she move as he began to pile drive his cock into her rectum.  It hurt, horribly, but her nerves were stretched tighter than her body.  He pressed on her hard so hard that she couldn't support their weight and she collapsed which let him sink his cock deeper into her.

"Finger fuck yourself," he whispered in her ear and she moved her hand to her shaved crotch.

He was pounding her very hard, very fast, but all she was aware of was the orgasm she felt building.  When it came, she saw stars or whatever you call those little lights you see some times floating in front of her.  She wanted to melt into a puddle on the bed but he wasn't finished with her and she tried to make her battered anus squeeze on him.  It must have worked because less than two minutes later, he came in her and she could feel it!

She felt him relax into her and then without warning he turned over and pulled her with him.  She found herself on top of him in a semi-sitting position with his cock still buried deep in her rectum.  She gave a startled gasp that was almost a scream.  Her rectum hurt.  Although she liked the feeling of having him so deep inside her, she wanted him to pull out of her.  Even though she seemed to have orgasms easily while being used anally, she knew that she would always rather have a man vaginally.  That distant part of her was shaking its head at her acceptance that she would be having a lot of men in her, something that she would have sworn was impossible when she woke up this morning.

"What do you do for a living?" the man inside her asked.

His tone was different that leering jerk was gone and this was just a normal guy.

"I'm a teacher, I teach freshman history and I'm the gymnastics coach."

"I thought you were much more flexible than anyone I've ever been with before.  What would your kids think if they could see you right this second?"

His hand moved down to her crotch that was open since her legs were draped on either side of his.  She looked down and realized that if anyone were to walk in right now they would be able to see his cock in her ass and they could see her open vagina leaking sperm.  She had a image of what some of her oversexed boys might think and in reaction she tried to close her legs to make herself more demure, although as she did, she knew that there was no way anyone could be demure with a cock in her ass.

He continued, "Now there's a fantasy I used to have when I was a freshman.  I remember a good-looking teacher that I used to dream of.  I want you to spread those legs wide and play with your pussy for that freshman boy."

Jenny reacted to the very idea that she'd ever let a student see her like this, she pulled her legs together and would have pulled off his cock if he hadn't grabbed her.

"I know you'd never do something like that;  if you would, you're on the wrong side of the fence, but it's okay to play games to pretend.  I know you'd never do this for a kid, but you're not doing it for a real kid you're doing it for the kid I was at fourteen.  Imagine what I looked like then, skinny and tall and imagine I'm standing at the end of the bed and show the skinny kid that is me, what you have for my use when I grow up."

Jenny turned red from head to toe as she did what he asked.  She could, in her mind's eye, see a young man, the age of her students, looking at her genitals.

"Play with your pussy for him shake it for him."

Jenny reached between her legs and was again struck by the missing hair, and by how masturbating like this was affecting her.  She couldn't believe that she was reacting like this, or that the organ in her rectum didn't feel more offensive.  For just a second she thought about making a little move that would result in that organ being where she wanted it but remembered that she had to worry about infection.

"Will you tell me what your name is?  You might not believe this from the way I've been acting, but when I got here today my husband was the only man I'd been with, and I don't ever want this to be an impersonal act."

"My name is Jerry, like your husband;  I'm married and I have two kids.  I love my wife, and I'd never want to hurt her, but she is very conservative sexually and I'm not.  You girls let me have my wild side without having to have an affair.  I would never go to a whore, and we would never recruit a whore.  There are women who would do things you wouldn't believe just to get a pack of cigarettes to her man.  All the women who come here are white-collar types, the kind of women who would never do something like this under normal circumstances.  Look, we're both doing things that make us a little uncomfortable.  I don't like doing favors for inmates, you don't like coming here to let me do what I'm doing to you, but we both get something we want out of it, or I guess I could say that I get it in something."

He laughed at his own pun, and after a second, Jenny groaned.  It bothered her deeply that she was helping this Jerry cheat on his wife, but she also wondered if her own Jerry had found her lovemaking too tame.  That would never be the case again when he got out.  Jenny felt very awkward, she was too honest not to acknowledge that she had enjoyed what she'd just done, but she didn't like doing it.  She felt a pain deep inside that she was doing something that was so against what type of person she wanted to be.  Even with her emotions damped down, she wondered about the tranquilizer.  She'd had one on her wedding day and she'd had many of the same type of reactions.  She was grateful for it.  It had made it easier for her;  she knew she'd been fully in control when she lay down and let Ray put it in her.  She was doing this with her eyes wide open;  the fuzzy feeling was making it easier to do what she had decided to do.

She had left Sam feeling used, but listening to Jerry talk she could again see that it was a two way street.  Even she didn't like the idea of special deals for convicts.  Of course, her husband shouldn't be a convict, but he had broken the law and she could see how this Jerry might see it differently than she did.  It made it easier to sit here with his cock up her rectum while masturbating and letting him play with her breasts.

Once again, Jenny felt her body being shifted.

"As much as I'd like to spend more time here doing you, I've got to get a move on.  You're a nice girl;  I like that.  I know it's hard to pretend to enjoy some of what we do to you, but you're being a good sport about it.  I'll be looking forward to seeing you again next month," he said as he lifted her off his cock, stood to get some of the wet wipes, and cleaned himself.

Jenny got out of bed, got several wipes to clean herself, and seeing what was on the first decided that she'd needed to empty her trash can into the commode instead of the kitchen trashcan.  She put on her nightgown and felt a little silly.  This man had seen her and had her and the gown provided so little modesty anyway.  She had fresh wipe between her legs and another next to her anus that was burning.  She watched as Jerry got dressed and then he came over to her took her in his arms gave her a gentle hug and a sweet kiss and then another on her forehead, and left.

It was a strange feeling to stare at the door and wonder about her emotions, she tried to sort them out.  When she realized that she couldn't, she turned and began to change the sheets on her bed.  When she finished she put on her robe then went to the bathroom.  Maria was already there fixing her make-up.

"Just how strong was that tranquilizer?" Jenny asked when Maria turned to look at her.

"Are you okay?  A doctor read your medical history and prescribed it, the doctor you were just with by the way, and of course, he made certain he was here when it was at its peak, but I'm the one who asked for it, and I have been monitoring you.  I've used them from time to time when this gets me down, or I'm having a hard time.  The guys don't want to hear about our problems;  we're how they deal with their problems, so there's always a little pill here if you need one.  They're not all that strong, but I think you've seen how they can help.  I can give you another in an hour and a sleeping pill if you're going to spend the night.  Do you want to make your calls before your next dance?"

Chapter 4: Pretending

Jenny nodded and Maria showed her where the phone was.  Jenny decided to make two calls, her mother, and a friend who would worry.  Marie told her one of the men she would meet in two weeks had a sideline business doing radiator repairs.  He would pickup her car, clean her radiator and put in new coolant.  She could tell her folks that she lost all her coolant, and that the car wouldn't be ready until Sunday.  She wouldn't even have to lie if she spoke carefully

Jenny was shaking when she got off the phone with her mother.  Talking to her friend hadn't been bad, but her mother gave her the fourth degree.  She'd felt like a teen again, coming in late from a date, except she'd never come in from a date after having sex.  As she talked, a mental image flashed of her mother seeing her, sitting on a towel leaking from two places.  Shaved, and prepared to 'entertain' a man whose name she didn't know.  She could imagine the loathing of her parents if they knew what their little princess was doing, and she struggled to keep her self-contempt out of her voice.

For one petrifying moment, she thought her mother was going to send her father up to get her.  It was only the fact that her parents lived almost five hours away that saved her.  She knew she could never hide what she'd been doing if she had to face them.  She could almost see the mortified expression on her father's face, knew neither parent might never speak to her again.  She lied so easily, and assured them that she'd call them in the morning when she was leaving.

As Jenny got herself cleaned-up, she tried to figure out just how much of what she was feeling was real, and how much was chemical.  Her anus was burning, her vagina hurt, and her mouth was sore because she'd 'entertained' three men.

'Men who could protect Jerry!' she told herself forcefully.

Then she sat on the toilet and cried.  She had just given herself a douche and an enema so that the next man she 'entertained' wouldn't be bothered by the evidence that the others had left behind inside her.  She heard the clock chime, pulled herself together, and she went to her room.

As she entered she saw a man reclined under the sheet.  He looked naked, and as she moved into the room she wondered what he would do to her.  He scooted over, lifted the covers and patted the bed for her to get in next to him.  The cold hollowness in her guts she'd felt as she first saw the man was now attacked by a flurry of rabid butterflies.  Using more willpower than she knew she had, she crawled on the bed and lay down beside him.  Tears tried to form, this man was going to fuck her and she didn't have any say in the matter.

He leaned over, she felt his hand on her knee.  As it moved slowly up towards her crotch, she couldn't restrain a cringe.  It was awful;  the slowness forcing her to endure the whole horror of her violation.  Still, she forced her body to remain motionless, trying not to let her stiffness show.

'I've been through this before and it wasn't that bad … right?'

She couldn't do it!  She couldn't just lie there and let him do IT to her.  She wasn't a prostitute, she was willing to let him, but she couldn't just do it this way.

She grabbed his hand forcefully, moved it from her leg and said, "Wait a second, I just can't.  Not this way, I have to have a more!"

She tried, but couldn't look at his face, as the muscles on his arm flinched.

Thinking he was getting angry, she turned a little towards him, still unable to meet his eye and continued, "I'm going to do this, but I'm not a whore.  If you want me to pretend to be one, I'll try, but you're going to have to tell me what we're going to do, or give me a little time.  I am grateful for what you are doing for me, and my husband, but not this way.  Please, I just can't do it that way!"

Some loosening of his body gave her the courage to finally look at his face.

"Please!" then seeing unexpected pain there, she continued, "What's your name?"

The tears formed, but never quite fell.

Propping himself up on his elbow and looking down at her he said, "My name is Mike, I'm not married, my wife was killed by a drunk driver twenty-nine months ago.  I've got a boy five and a girl almost two and a half.  She was three weeks old when we lost Sally.  I don't want a whore either, I'm just starting to date again and I like not having to worry about being so horny I scare a nice girl off.  But, that's not the main reason I'm here.  I mean I like to play sex games like everyone else;  I just don't have that many fantasies that I haven't already done.  You might not understand this but I'm probably as nervous about this as you are.  It's easier with the girls I've been with several times, but what I like to do is pretend that I'm with my wife again.  Her name was Sally, and if you don't mind, I'll call you that.  I enjoy telling my wife that I love her and I like to hear that back.  Sally and I had a great sex life, she enjoyed everything, I'm ashamed to say I strayed once, but that's just because I think all men like variety.  Isn't it funny that now that I can have all the variety I ever dreamed about, all I really want each time is the one woman I cheated on?"

Jenny was overwhelmed.  Relieved that this wasn't going to be what she'd feared, but she felt more than a bit apprehensive about making love to a stranger while acting like a wife … especially when she didn't want to make love at all.  Compressing her lips, reproving herself, she tried to accept that she was going to do it.  Here, she was a sure thing.  The romantic element appealed to her, of course, but she didn't know if she could be intimate in such a profoundly personal act while pretending that she was someone else.  She wondered if she could do what he was doing, pretend that he was Jerry.  Probably not, it sounded like he was going to do things to her that Jerry had never done … the thought made her feel guilty, and she did her best to banish it.

He had been studying her face, and Jenny felt exposed, which he confirmed by saying, "Look, I know this is your first day, all this is probably too much for you.  There'll be other days and other times.  Maybe we could make it easier for you.  For obvious reasons it wouldn't bother me in the least to pretend to be your husband, for example.  Or, we could just be a couple on the big date where we end up in bed.  You're a damn good looking woman and I have to tell you I'm looking forward to what we're going to do, but I do understand it's hard on you.  What can I do to help you?"

Jenny thought about it, was there anything he could do that would make it easier for her?  The only things that came to mind involved not doing IT at all.  She understood that that wasn't an option.

"Could you go kind of slow, I think I'd like that."

"How slow do you want to go?"

At first, Jenny thought that his look implied that he was scared she might not go through with it.  Jenny wanted to say, "You'll get what you want", but realized that it was just possible that he might be willing to wait until next month since he'd have another woman tomorrow and two each weekend until he had another turn with her.  She thought about it but there didn't seem to be any point, seven men or eight what difference did it make after the second or third?

"Slower than you started, I mean I'm already in bed with you, and I don't have any panties on that you need to get into, but if you could start someplace else that might be nice."

She'd tried for a light tone and had smiled, but she now understood that she would wanted to be kissed, to be felt up before a man began to gouge her bottom.

Looking so sincere that Jenny relaxed marginally, he said, "Do you have any fantasies, or do you just want to play this straight."

Jenny thought about it again, of course she had fantasies, but if she ever acted on those she wanted it to be with Jerry, not some stranger who she had to … to fuck or let fuck her.

"I think playing it straight is easier, I know that I'm going to be role playing, but I think that would be easier for me later …" but would it really, if she was going to have to pretend to be a man's dead wife would it ever be easy?  Pretending might be easier than … she leaned up and kissed his cheek, "I never really thought about any of this.  I don't know if it would be easier to play your role later or now.  Tell me a little about what you would want me to do."

He looked into her eyes for an eternity, then with a sad smile he said, "Like I said, Sally and I had a great sex life.  We both liked doing 69, I think we even tried a few position that aren't in the Kama Sutra.  We did it all sorts of semi-public places;  we loved to be a little daring like that.  The only thing we hadn't done was anal.  I had never done it either, but the woman that I had an affair had asked me if I'd like to do that to her.  The idea turned me on, and I was pressuring Sally to do it.  She didn't like the idea, but she never turned me down, she said she might, once she recovered from having Kristin.  I thought that meant if she got tipsy, but … one of the women told me that she probably had.  Uh … physical changes back there because of childbirth.  We were talking about maybe making a 'special night' where we booked a hotel room, and all the trimmings to start our sex life again.  I like to believe that it also would have been a time when she could give me her last virginity and make a big deal about doing it.  We were just talking, I wasn't in that big a hurry, I didn't know that I was pressuring her, until after she was killed.  To be honest, I don't get all that much more out of doing anal, but I love to imagine what that night would have been like.  That's why I like to do it with here with you girls."

Jenny couldn't miss the pain as he had told the story.  If it weren't her bottom he wanted to stick it in;  she would have felt even more sympathy.  However, she'd done anal twice and if she never did it again that would be too soon … except she'd had orgasms each time.  At least he wanted her to pretend to be reluctant about letting him put it in her there … an image of a big hairy man making Jerry bend over flashed through her mind.

Her head shuddered, and she clenched her jaw, as she spoke mentally to her little voice, 'As if I needed the reminder of why I'm doing this.'  Aloud she said, "Okay, I'll do it, or at least I'll try.  What do you want me to do?"

"We can make out for a bit, if you want to give me head first you can, of course I like that.  I'd like to do 69, then I'll enter you to get my dick good and wet.  I'll tell you I love you and I want you to do the same thing.  At some point I'll pull out and ask you to turn over.  If you remember the first time you did it, you can just act that way …" he was studying her and she felt her face flare, " … that was this morning wasn't it?"  When Jenny nodded he continued, "Well then you could try to act like you would if you'd agreed to do this for your Jerry.  It might even help you if you ever decide to do anal with him when he gets out."

Jenny tried to think about that.  She hated the idea.  The concept seemed unnatural, to have a man put it in her there.  Being honest though, the feeling of it inside her wasn't that bad.  If she did anal as much as it looked like she was going to be doing it, it might be something she might want to give to Jerry.  Doing this way might actually help her to remember, so she could act like it was the first time when she did it with him.

"Could I call you Jerry?"

He gave her another of his sad smiles, shook his head gently and said, "Not if you're going to be doing my fantasy, I don't want to mess that up.  I don't mind doing a different one … but this one is too important to me."

His tone was firm there wasn't any point in arguing.  The quote from some Shakespeare it were best done quickly flashed through her mind.  She wanted to get this over with.

"Mike, kiss me, get me ready for what you want to do to me;  don't make me think about it, don't talk about it.  I think that'll make it easier for me;  I'm doing this because I love you and the kids."

The words sounded stilted and hollow but Mike leaned down and began to kiss her, fondling her right breast.  Jenny tried to kiss him as she had Jerry when she was feeling especially loving.  His kiss became more tender, it did feel loving and the more Jenny tried to respond, the more tender the whole process became.

A part of her mind understood that this was a stranger who was taking advantage of her.  but she didn't want to listen to that, she wanted the affection he was giving her.  She wanted it more than she would have thought possible.  She refused to listen to that voice that said it wasn't for her, it was for a dead woman.  She screamed at the voice that it was her body that he was touching and her lips that were being kissed.  He slipped the nightgown off her shoulder and uncovering her right breast.  He broke their kiss and tenderly began to suckle her.  Jenny responded by clutching him to her;  eyes closed, it was almost possible to believe that this was Jerry.  He was so different from the other men who had done this to her today.

"I love you, and I love to have your breast in my mouth Sally."

Jenny had expected the name to be jarring, but instead it was comforting.  She'd been trying to rationalize this all day as if she, the real Jenny wasn't here.  That the person doing these things was someone else.  Having someone call her by a different name made it easier.  He was making love to her and if she was using an assumed name it didn't matter somehow.

"I love you too Mike, and I love what you're doing."

She felt his hand move down to her sex and she opened her legs for him, not even thinking about what she was doing.  His finger found her entrance and pushed into her and she shifted to make it easier for him.  Again, he was tender and because he only left it in her long enough to get it wet, she was able to hold her illusions when he began to search for her clit.  His mouth on her breast felt good, very good.  His finger was arousing her in a very different manner from what had happened earlier.  Keeping her eyes closed helped, but she worried as his head moved lower, to kiss her stomach.  When he reached the area she'd shaved, he showered it with kisses.  He used his tongue to run the length of her gash circling her clit.  It was a sensuous feeling, but she wasn't ready to be touched there.  She wanted his tongue lower and opened her legs to make it easy for him.  Sensitive to her, he moved his tongue lower, slowly pushing it into her, then circling her opening as Jenny took a deep satisfying breath.  At just the right time, his tongue returned to her clit and Jenny felt her passion soar.  She tighten the muscles in her bottom, her crotch rising to his tongue.  With her gluteus squeezed hard, she felt her anus contract.  It reminded her of the purpose of all this preparation.  She couldn't restrain a little mental cringe.

Almost as if he'd sensed it, Mike pulled back his mouth and said, "Don't worry Sally I'll be very gentle, I think it might help if I use a finger to get it ready … okay?"

Jenny knew she'd done this twice.  That it had been her own free will, but it had been different.  She was giving a different kind of permission now.  She'd done what she had been told to do.  Now, she realized how much the sedative had affected her earlier.  This wasn't like that at all.  This is how it would have been if Jerry had asked her to do anal and if she'd agreed.  She didn't want to say anything.  Incredibly she was embarrassed at what he was about to do to her.  To cover than embarrassment, she lifted her hips off the bed allowing him to put his finger where he wanted to put it.  With her eye clenched tightly, she relaxed her bottom and tried not to quiver as she waited for him.

When she felt his finger move between her cheeks she realized that she had to relax even more or he couldn't get his finger back there, and she tried.  With all she had done, it shouldn't have surprised her to feel his finger enter her, but it did.  It was intrusive, very unnaturally intrusive.  As his finger entered her, his tongue began to work on her again, allowing Jenny to concentrate on that rather than the other.  The tongue felt good, but the finger continued to feel foreign, unwanted.  She wanted to push it out but restrained herself by thinking that if he wanted this so badly she could stand it.

When his tongue pulled back, Jenny was disoriented.  She'd been concentrating so hard in her effort to ignore his finger that she wasn't sure what he was doing.  She felt her legs being spread and pushed back until thighs were pressing on her breasts.  As she felt his thing searching for her opening, he cradled her head in his hands.  Jenny had never felt so open, so available for sex, as when he kissed her.  She wrapped her arms around him pulling him to her.  It was as if she wanted to use his body to cover her availability, her wanton openness.  As he entered her, she felt her body caress him.  She squeezed to increase her tactile awareness of his member and the intimate friction.  As she drew his body down to her, she felt such relief that her nakedness was covered that for an eternal second, she didn't think about what she was doing.  He pulled up, just far enough to be able for her eyes to focus on his face as looked down at her.  He shifted so that while he was still pinning her legs to her chest he was able to use his hands to pull down the top of her gown exposing both her breasts, but trapping her arms to her side with the straps.

Jenny had never felt so naked in her whole life, or so closely observed, "You're so beautiful Sally, I love to look at you when I'm inside you like this, to know that you belong to me.  I am so grateful at what you're going to let me do."

His mouth closed on hers and slowly became aware of the taste of her own sex.  It was different than the other times.  She didn't remember his finger leaving her anus, but she was very aware of him being inside her now, but something made her remember where he was going to be next.

"Are you ready to turn over Sally?"

Jenny wasn't ready.  She didn't want to turn over at all.

She didn't want to do it, but she'd promised and she said, "Please kiss me again, then I'll be ready."

He leaned into her pressing her legs to her breasts again, pushing deep into her with his organ;  his kiss was just as penetrating.  His tongue seemed to push down her throat.  As he pulled back, he also pulled out of her.  Jenny felt awkward with her arms pinned by her gown.  As she turned over she felt terribly uncoordinated, which embarrassed her.  When she was on her stomach, she felt her muscles clench in negative anticipation of what he was going to do to her.

Somehow, her gown had fallen down and was covering her bottom.  As Mike lifted it up to expose her bottom Jenny felt like she being opened in a fashion she hadn't since the first time she'd let Jerry pull off her panties.  That had been when she'd lost her virginity.  Even if her rectum had been used twice, she was giving a kind of virginity now.  He began to knead her ass cheeks almost as if her were fondling her breasts.  Lying there, letting him, Jenny understood how she was totally available to him.  His hands moved under her to her hipbones, and he lifted her pelvis up.

"Move your hands down here Sally, I want you to enjoy this as much as I'm going to."

Jenny had had her face down on the mattress, her nose mashed by the weight of her head.  She turned to her right, taking a deep breath she complied.  Moving her hands to her sex, she began to masturbate.  She bit her lip at what she was showing him, but she was more scared of what he was going to do.  She wanted something else to concentrate upon to shift her focus from her arched back.  From the mental image of what she looked like with her rectum thrust up like it was.

She was almost able to give her full attention to her fingers, their caress of her pleasure sites, until she felt his organ penetrated her cheeks.  It moved right to her anus and began to put pressure upon the sphincter.  Her masturbation became frantic as she attempted not to feel the penetration of her rectum.  It hurt but as he slowly pushed the head into her.  The foreignness of what they were doing that struck her … and then it registered.  'They' were doing this.  It wasn't being done to her;  she was fully a part of it.

"Um, Sally, you feel so good," he said, ending in a grunt as all of his cock pushed into her.

Strangely, Jenny became acutely aware of the feeling of her naked breasts on the sheet.  Of the feeling of being bound by her gown, of having no control of what was being done to her breasts, or to her.  Jenny had never been tied up during sex, hadn't ever thought about it, but she did now as he began to pump in her.  She couldn't decide how she felt about that.  Wanting him to finish what he was doing to her bottom blotted out her ability to analyze.  She wanted him to enjoy her, but also wanted this over with, done, finish.  She squeezed him with her anal muscles and while it hurt she knew it would excite him.

"Sally, that felt really good, I love this, how does it feel to you?"

Jenny had to think for a second, "I love it.  Hard, do it hard it feels good."

It's what she would have told Jerry and it was a way of giving she hadn't thought she'd give.  She squeezed again.  and tried to focus on her fingers as he began to pound harder into her.  It didn't hurt as much as she would have thought, and her fingers were working a magic.  Her breathing was becoming more labored as she felt her tension raising.  She felt his orgasm start and she pushed up to accept it.  Her own seemed to recede as he began to slow, and she was surprised to discover that she didn't care.  She was glad that he'd had one, and she felt a warm glow that he'd enjoyed her.  It was like it was when she made love to Jerry.  His pleasure of her body had been enough for her.  The warmth of his sperm inside her was nothing compare to the warmth that flooded her at what she'd done for him.  HIM!  MIKE!  Guilt crashed in on her, she'd given to Mike something that only belonged to Jerry!  Tears erupted, and one rolled down her cheek.

"Oh Sally!" he expelled his breath noisily, "That wasn't that bad was it?"

Jenny felt cold stone form in her heart.  She had done this and he didn't even understand what she'd done!  She shook her head, not wanting to trust her voice, and certain she unable to explain what she was feeling.  He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, exactly where the tear had left its track.

"Hey Jen, you did great, and I appreciate it.  Don't feel bad.  This is exactly what I wanted.  To tell you the truth, no one has done it as good.  You ought to feel good about a job well done."

He pulled out of her and got off the bed.  Jenny watched through her tears as he began to clean his thing of her.  She didn't see any brown stain, but she wasn't sure there hadn't been one.  Her anus was burning, and she thought it might be gapping open.  She wanted to be held, loved, cherished, but what she was getting was not so much as a backward glance as he dressed.  When he walked out the door without saying another word Jenny cried as she hadn't since that awful day in court when they'd taken Jerry away.

'I'll never let that happen again!' she thought, 'I'll let them do it anyway they want, but I'll never pretend to myself again, I'll say the words, but I won't ever let them mean anything, that's Jerry's and no one else.'

She understood what Maria had said.  She'd come close to giving it to Mike, but she understood now, and it would never happen again.  She'd almost been unfaithful in her heart, she understood the danger, and it wouldn't happen again.  Gratitude!  They could get that, even affection, but no more!  She pulled her gown up over her breasts, and got out of bed.  As she stood and leaned over the bed to strip the sheets, she felt his gunk try to fall out of her anus.  She clamped rectum but still felt it ooze out of her.  Despondent she sat down on the clump of sheets and cried, holding her head in her hands.

Something akin to anger dried her tears.

Her fingers sought her sex, and she spread her legs and said aloud, "This is yours Jerry, it belongs to you.  They can use it to protect you, but it's yours."

Unconsciously she began to masturbate as she thought about just how much she loved her husband.  In a little over two minutes she stopped.  She didn't want an orgasm … she wanted Jerry and she wanted to wait.  She sighed, resigned.  Her anus relaxed, releasing what was left of Mike from inside her.  She wasn't sorry to have him gone.

She reached up and pinched her nipples, "Yours Jerry, no one else’s!" she almost shouted.

Then, she buried her face in her hands and cried.  She had no idea why she'd done what she'd just done, she hadn't felt horny, but it had seemed so important to remind her why she was here.  One hand moved to her sex and she quickly reached an orgasm.  She understood that in some twisted way she wanted to have an orgasm that wasn't related to what she was doing here.  Something for her husband … somehow.  It didn't make sense, it wasn't logical, but it helped.  She knew she couldn't prevent having orgasms for men who knew how to make her cum.  She had always cum easily to manual stimulation, but she didn't have to make a present of it for THEM!  It didn't make sense, but if she couldn't explain it, she was certain that there was something that she'd had never, and must never let another man have.

She used some wipes to clean her bottom and there were stains on the sheets where she'd been sitting.  Jenny chose not to look at them as she finished stripping the bed.  After she'd put on clean sheets, she looked at the bed.  A bed where four more men would put their sperm into her.  A bed where she'd play a role, but where she would always hold something back.  Doing this was going to be a job, one that might be fun at times, and at times not fun.  But never again would all of 'Jenny' be there to accept their gunk!

When she got to the bathroom the clock had just chimed the half hour and she was surprised to see Maria already in there.  She had tears in her eyes and she was sitting on the pot with her enema bag draining into her.

"What happened?"

Jenny felt an ice cold bolt flash through down her spine.

"They can hurt us!  No matter how hard we try, they can hurt us!  We can't do this without being vulnerable, and sometimes it hurts to know that they care so little about us.  We need affection too, it's the only way not to be a whore, but when one of the ones you can normally count on getting that from, just fucks you … it hurts.  Next time I won't let him hurt me, never again!"

Jenny felt the fear and dread that she'd thought she just put behind her.  If Maria could still be hurt, how could she hope to escape it?

"What happened?"

Marie blew her nose.

Still sitting on the pot, the liquid sounds of the enema draining clearly audible she said, "You know how the major was, and how it was with Sam?  Well there are some who just like us.  Men you can feel like a woman around and not like a scumbag, or a hole to cum in.  We need those, I need those, and you'll need them too.  You don't give your heart, but they're the ones that you might have an affair with if you didn't have this setup.  They treat you like a woman, and it makes you feel good.  Mark is like that to me and I actually look forward to being with him.  We normally make love for the whole time, and I do mean make love.  It's different, but I need it and you will too.  I don't know what the deal was today, but he was pissed about something and he took it out on me.  I walked in smiling, looking forward to him and he had me stop and turn around and bend over.  He took me up the butt without even taking off his pants, he just unzipped and when he finished he stomped out without saying another word, giving me a kiss or anything.  It hurts to have your ass busted, but nothing like being fucked up the ass by someone you care for!"

As she was talking she'd finished her enema.  When she stood from the commode she had another crying jag.  Without thinking about it, Jenny opened her arms and Maria came into them.  They held each other and they cried.

Just as the clock chimed the three quarter hour Jenny started to get control of herself.  It was only then that she realized that Maria had stopped crying and was using her arm to comfort her.

"Jenny we'll have to redo our make-up and there are a couple of the girls you want to be careful about hugging.  They swing both ways;  they won't get out of line, but they enjoy doing the threesomes."

Jenny felt her jaw drop, "Threesome!" it had just never occurred to her and yet if they were there to fulfill fantasies, what bigger fantasy was there for most men than to have two women in their bed at the same time.

Maria gave her an ironic grin and said, "Yeah, I think we're set to do one today, our last dance, don't worry about it, you don't have to do anything that's over the line.  We don't even have to kiss each other on the mouth, much less anywhere else.  The closest we'll come is if he wants us both to suck his cock at the same time.  If he does want that, lips and tongues might touch, but frankly that's better than the other stuff we'll be kissing and licking."

Later Jenny decided it showed her strange state of mind, but at that moment, she found she was more curious than shocked.  She didn't know what was done in a threesome.  She'd had a dream once, after Jerry had been locked up.  It had been about Jerry and another man, a parent of one of her students, joining her in bed.  They had both made love to her, taking turns.  In her dream, it seemed that at one point both men entered her vaginally at the same time, but she hadn't been stretched by the act, just completely filled.  The next morning she had had to change the sheets, and resolved to never be alone with any students fathers.

Now, having done oral and anal sex now, she could understand how she could 'entertain' two men at the same time, but she didn't see how a man could use two women at the same time.  She had three places, but a man only had one penis.  Seeing her expression Maria began to explain how it was done.  Jenny felt herself blush at even the idea being that intimate with someone, while someone else was in the same bed.  The idea of licking a man's balls while he was making love to another woman was shocking to say the least.  The idea of having her mouth or tongue that close to another woman's sex threaten to make her vomit.

"You've done that?  With your mouth with someone else's … that close?"

"I've done a lot more than that!  I've eaten muff pie and all the rest.  No I don't swing both ways, but when you get into it, it's sometimes easier to do that sort of thing than not.  It turns the little dears on like crazy and any woman can give better head than the best tongue man in the world.  Like I said I don't swing that way, but it doesn't bother me, after all what's the difference in doing 69 with a man I don't much care for and doing the same thing with a woman who I do like.  You don't have to go down on me, but why would my going down on you be worse than letting the next guy you see go down on you?  I promise you that I'll do a better job than anyone else and you don't have to worry about my using you either.  You don't have to do it to me, but if you do the dance will go faster and we'll both have a better time."

Jenny started to sputter that there was a huge difference, but before she could form a coherent sentence Maria changed subject, talking about what to do about dinner.  Jenny let her.  This morning she would have sworn that she would never go to bed with another man.  The idea of doing anal or oral sex this morning would have been inconceivable.  Jenny had several lesbian friends but she'd never even considered what would be involved in doing something with another woman.  She was repulsed by the very idea, even touching another woman with her finger seemed much much worse than what she'd already done.

Chapter 5: The Law

After Jenny cleaned up, they fixed dinner and chatted.  Jenny knew that sex had been part of what they discussed, that she'd enjoyed the meal, but later she couldn't remember what they'd discussed or the food.  All she remembered was the Kafkaesque moment of sitting on a towel, leaking from both holes, while dressed only in a flimsy nightgown, chatting with a woman whose bed she would share later.

It was getting dark when they finished cleaning up after the meal and made their way back to bathroom to prepare for the next dance.  Jenny was scared by how routine the process had become.  She knew the tranquilizer was a time released for twelve hours, but she wanted to be more disturbed about preparing for anonymous sex.

When the clock chimed the hour, Jenny walked to her room still feeling totally numb.  Whatever this man was going to do to her, would be minor compared to the last dance with Maria.

'Besides,' she thought, 'I've done it all anyway.'

The room was dark, and when she turned on the light, her blood froze.  The man standing in the middle of the room was a sheriff, complete with a drawn gun!

In the gruffest of voices he growled, "You're under arrest for prostitution, now turn around and put your hands behind your back.  If you think you can get out of this by giving free samples like last one, you've got another thing coming!"

Jenny relaxed marginally.  The crack about 'free samples' was a dead give away this was simply another fantasy.  One, which actually tickled her fancy.

"Oh please officer, I'll do ANYTHING not to be arrested.  I've never been arrested before and I don't want a record.  Please I'll do anything, absolutely anything for you if you'll give me a break," Jenny almost giggled.

The man scowled at her, "Get those hand behind your back so I can cuff you … no wait I'd better search you first.  Lean up against that door and spread your legs;  I want to make sure you don't have a weapon."

Jenny again suppressed a giggle as she leaned up against the door like she'd seen suspects do on TV.  The man began to' frisk' her starting on her naked right ankle.

He worked his way up to her crotch, feeling her shaved skin, "Do you having anything hidden inside here, do I need to do a cavity search?"

Unable to suppress a grin she vamped, "I'm soooo empty inside.  I promise, you can check with anything you have, but shouldn't a female officer be doing this?"

Still growling he said, "There's none available and besides whores don't need a woman cop.  As long as you've been on the street you should know that.  how long have you been doing this anyway?"

Trying to sound like an innocent ingénue she gushed, "Oh today is my first time to do this I promise!"

Jenny couldn't believe that she was being so light hearted about this, but it was so phony that it was almost fun.

His hands went up her waist, then to her breasts and he did a through job of making sure she didn't have anything hidden there.  At the same time, he pushed his crotch into her bottom and his 'search' became very sexual.  Jenny found herself responding to that, aware her genitals began tingling.

'I must like the idea of being forced like this better than the idea of having to do it on my own,' she thought.

She was very aware that she was pushing her bottom back on him almost as hard as he was pushing into her.

For the first time his voice sounded normal, "Okay, I don't think you're armed, at least with anything other than the weapons all women carry.  Bring your hands down behind your back and I'm going to put the cuffs on you."

Jenny did like she'd seen on TV, one hand at a time and felt real handcuffs on her wrists.  Being handcuffed for the first time in her life had a very different effect on her than she expected.  When his hands went to her bottom and began to feel her buttocks she was breathing hard.  When he spun her around and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her locked ones, she felt helpless and his kiss was very exciting.  She parted her legs when he pulled her bottom to his crotch.

Using his body, he frog walked her to the bed.  Jenny was unprepared when he broke the kiss and stepped back and shoved her.  Off balance, she landed on her back, her nightgown above her waist and her shaved cunt was open for view!  CUNT!  She'd never thought of it as that in her life, but right now that's what she was showing him.  To emphasize the point she slowly spread her legs.  As he looked, that cunt became very wet!

No smiling, his voice lilting he said, "No you don't, you don't get off that cheap.  If you want to beat this rap your going to have to do more than straight sex, I want an around the world starting with a blow job!"

Jenny wasn't sure what that meant, but the way she was sprawled she couldn't sit up.  Rolling to her side, she started to stand when she felt his hand on the top of her head holding her down.  He stepped close to her as she sat on the bed and unzipped his pants and took out his organ.  Jenny had a quick look at the sixth one she'd seen in her whole life before it was pushed into her mouth.  She did what she'd been taught, enhanced by the instructions that he gave her.  It only grew a fraction, but the pleasure sounds he was making let her know that she was doing what he wanted.

"That's enough," he said pulling it out of her mouth, "Standup and turn around;  I can't trust you.  I'm going to handcuff you to the wall to make sure you don't try anything funny while you work your way out of a trip to the station."

Jenny stood, and let him unlock her.  He directed her to the bed, and she lay down, her hands extended above her.  She wasn't surprised to find that there were hooks on the headboard that let him use two sets of handcuffs to secure her to it.  Pulling on each, she confirmed that she been secured.  Before she could wonder if he was going to do anything to her legs, they were lashed to shiny leg irons.  Those were fastened to something on the floor.  He produced a rubber ball and made her open her mouth.  It was only when it had been strapped around her head that she realized that not only couldn't she make a sound, it was impossible to get it out of her mouth.

For a few seconds she panicked and tried to get free.  After thrashing about for a minute or two, she felt a cold knot of fear begin in her lower stomach.  Even if this was a game, she was secured and she wasn't going to be able to keep him from doing anything that he wanted to do.

In a new and very menacing voice he said, "As you just found out, you're not going anywhere.  You can't make a sound that anyone here can hear.  You're my captive and I'm going to teach you why you shouldn't be on the streets!  There are monsters on these streets;  some of them would tear you up.  Why I took this whip off a pervert just a couple of hours ago!"

From somewhere he produced a wicked looking cat of nine tails!  Before she could react to the terror building, he brought it swinging down hard on her breasts, making no attempt to pull the blow.  It took several more seconds for Jenny to realize that there had been no pain with the blow.  Looking more carefully she could see that the 'whip' was made out of very soft cloth, it only looked like leather.  She had been hurt more in friendly pillow fights.

Her passion roared back, amplified.  She found the idea of being helpless before prevent, sexy.  He pulled up her nightgown so that her breasts were in the open and he struck her several more times with his 'whip'. The only pain was from the hardness of her nipples as they shot to attention.  When he whipped her between her legs, she felt her arousal actually drip down to sheet.  She was sure she was making a wet spot.

Taking the whip handle, he rubbed it up and down her slit, and the amount of her wetness on it embarrassed her.  He dropped the whip and began to manipulate her breasts, playing with her rock hard nipples He explored her body, he took liberties with her, and everything he did excited her even more.  Still when he reached under the bed and pulled out a penis shaped dildo Jenny felt her eyes get very wide.  Some of her girlfriends had constantly teased her about vibrators, after Jerry had been locked up, but Jenny had never used one.  She could feel her heart race, but this time she didn't know if it was fear or passion.

The buzzing noise it made when he turned it on sounded ominous.  Jenny screamed through the gag when he touched it to the highly sensitive skin between her thigh and vaginal lips.  The feeling was so different, it took Jenny several seconds to realize just how sexy it felt.  He lightly traced the outline of those lips then ran the buzzing thing down the dripping slit Jenny couldn't keep her body from twitching, and she wasn't sure if it was to get away, or to get firmer contact.  As he began to circle the thing around her clit, she felt her body build toward an orgasm.  Right before she tipped over the edge, he pulled it away.  Jenny strained to gain control, but the muscles in her legs were going into spasms and every muscle in her crotch remained drawn inward, poised for a massive explosion, waiting only for the slightest contact to trigger it.  Jenny could felt actual beads of sweat form on her forehead as she looked at the man who was torturing her by not touching her.

He caught her eye and in a very authoritative voice said, "Jenny I'm going to put this little toy inside you.  You don't get a choice about that;  the only choice you get is where it goes.  I don't care myself, but if you want it in your asshole, you're going to have to lift off the bed so I can get it in there, so think about it.  If I see you lifting I'm going to put it up your ass and fuck your cunt, if I don't then, I'm going to shove it up your cunt, and fuck your ass.  So," he let the word hang, "which do you want?"

Jenny blinked, then blinked again.  Her brain was struggling, as if she'd gone days without sleep.  Was her really going to put that thing inside one of her 'places' and take her in the other?  As she forced her brain to think, she discovered that what upset her was that she couldn't rouse the indignation she thought she should feel.

Looking into his eyes, she saw him shift his gaze to her crotch.  It reminded her how open she was.  In response, she tried to pull her legs together, and in a physical way discovered that she was bound.  It was impossible to keep this man from doing what he wanted;  she only had the choice he left her.  That forced her to think about how she was going to do it with him.  She realized was that she would rather have that vibrator in her twat, close to her clit where she'd get the most value from it.  Still, even though she'd done anal all day she couldn't ask for it.  It was irrational, to ask for the dildo to but put in her rectum rather than to acknowledge that she was willing to let him take her anally.  She bit the rubber ball in her mouth tried to raise up her bottom.  It had been more an attempt to see if she could, but his expression let her know he thought she'd made her choice.

Now, all her attention was focused on her rectum as she tried to prepare for the thing to be shoved into her.  She felt the tip and she pushed out to make its entry easier when it stopped.

"Jenny!  Look at me not at the ceiling!" he said as he released the ball gag in her mouth.

Jenny hadn't been aware that she was looking at the ceiling, but now she was very aware that she was looking at the face of a man who was putting a dildo in her anus!  She was even more aware that he was looking closely at her, studying her expression.  Reading her response to what he was doing to her.  Jenny couldn't ignore the vibration in her anus, but having her face studied so closely made her extremely self-conscious, and in her nervousness, she flashed a smile.

'A smile at the man doing this to me?' she thought, 'how inappropriate can I get?'

But if she wasn't going to smile at him as he put that thing inside her what expression should she give him?  She knew she was breathing hard, and that her anal sphincter was reacting to the vibrations in a strange way;  A way she couldn't quite identify as pleasant or unpleasant.  Confused, she wanted to just close her eyes and let him do what he would, but he forced her to respond.

Hearing and feeling the vibrator, she said meekly, "Please don't look at me like this, it embarrasses me."

He grinned sardonically, "What do you want me to look at?  If you don't want me to study your reactions what should I do?"

Jenny's mind raced, from out of nowhere came, "Don't just look at me, get it IN me.  Come up here and kiss me like a man!"

It took Jenny several seconds to realize that she'd just asked to be double penetrated, and that she wasn't embarrassed about it.  She wanted that thing in her rectum and she wanted him to put his cock in her, she was excited and she'd wanted to be used as a woman not examined like a lab experiment.  He nodded, replace her gag, and she felt the dildo being pushed all the way up her bottom.  It felt hard, but she was very aware the effect on her breathing, she was breathing as hard as if she'd just finished a floor routine.  He was also breathing hard as he moved up over her, his organ seeking her opening.

He stopped for a second and said, "This is your only chance;  if you'll agree to leave the streets forever, I'll let you go home right now.  Otherwise I'm going to fuck you so hard you'll be off work for a month.  Tell me do you want me to let you go or do you want me to fuck you?"

Jenny didn't want to be unlocked right now.  There was something liberating about being locked up.  To be taken like this was exciting and as she felt him enter her, she began to move to increase the friction of their bodies as his organ moved deep inside her.  The vibrator in her ass touched his cock through inside her.  She knew there was a membrane separating the two, but she could only feel the touch, the stimulus was more than she'd expected.

For long seconds she reveled in her inability to keep him out of her, before she remembered she hadn't tried.  On an impulse, she tried to push him off and out of her.  She bucked, twisted, tried to turn and finally she tried to pull back.  She tried to 'fart' the dildo, but it didn't move.  Like most women, she'd had a rape fantasy, but she'd never thought that someone would actually be able to take her against her will, not if she was fighting it.  Now she knew that she could be had, no matter what her wishes.  She found it liberating in a way she couldn't have conceived of yesterday.  She felt so wet it was like she'd sprung a leak between her legs.  Her vagina felt so open, inviting … and large, she wondered if it was possible for him to feel her on him.  She tried to squeeze, but her muscles down there had turned to mush.  She believed she could have an elephant taking her, and she'd still feel 'loose'.

In a sexual daze, she became aware that he was biting her nipples.  Biting hard enough to make her scream in pain, but she couldn't pull them away from him.  When he sucked her whole breast into his mouth it was like sticking a hot knife in her sexual core.

He ground down on her with his pelvis and she came, screaming as loud as she could into her gag.  He collapsed on her and she screamed louder but this time in frustration in not being able to take him in her arms.  He lay on her for several minutes and Jenny gradually came off her sexual peak.  She became aware that he was still dressed in his sheriff outfit.  That the edge of his nametag was cutting her nipple.  The vibrator in her anus was now becoming painful.  She tried to move but he was too heavy.  Something about her movement must have penetrated his consciousness.

"I'm sorry, Darlin' is that hurting you?" he asked in a different tone and voice than he'd used to this point.

Jenny knew it was real, his true voice.  When she nodded, he moved.  He looked down at her breasts and saw where her right nipple had been abused by the nametag.  He leaned down and took the nipple in his mouth and swirled his tongue around it as you would any other cut or wound.

It felt good in a non-sexual way.  He reached under her and eased the dildo from her anus;  it was a relief.  A few seconds later, he reached up and unlocked her handcuffs.  Jenny flexed her hands and then reached behind her to take the gag out of her mouth.  Once she'd done that, she kissed his forehead and wrapped her arms around him in a big hug, still feeling him inside her.  She was a little surprised by that kiss.  She was confused and didn't want to think about it, so she gave his organ another squeeze causing him to slip out of her.

"Well little lady, I guess you earned a get out of jail free card," he said with a chuckle, which made Jenny giggle.

This time had been fun, the unreality of what was done to her and the lack of her willing participation had made it easier.

Looking serious, and fatherly, he said, "I've got to get a move on, I'm glad you're dealing with this so well, I wasn't sure that you'd be able to handle some of the games that some of us like to play on your first shift.  I'm sorry about your nipple;  I'll give Mike a call and I'll drop off whatever he thinks will help it before you leave.  I know some of the guys like to dance a little rough.  If you're okay with that, they'll appreciate it.  I knew nothing I was going to do would hurt you … but you'll always have a safe word so that it never goes further than your comfort level.  Have you done rough sex?"

Jenny had been feeling a knot of fear form again in her stomach, "I've never done anything like that, and I don't think I want to … are you sure they won't make me?"

"Of course not, but they will ask you to try it to see how far you can go.  Look, you liked what we did, so don't rule out that you might like other things too.  I like to play the cop, but there are other roles we enjoy.  You might find you like those even better.  Just keep an open mind.  Remember that what most of us are here for is what we can't get at home, I love my wife, but even though we've been married twelve years, the only time I've seen her pussy was when one of our kids was being born!  We never even make it with the lights on, much less in the daylight."

While he'd been talking, he'd been cleaning up, first his dildo, then his cock on one of those handy baby wipes.  After zipping, he was standing at the door.  After her released her leg irons, Jenny noted that her nightgown was pulled up to her neck, that all her 'charms' were on display.  When he walked to the door, he turned for one last look.  On a whim she swung around on the bed so he could get a good look at her 'pussy' she even going so far as to open her legs so he could get a good view.

"Before you leave, at least tell me your name?"

"The nametag and the uniform are real, I'm the county sheriff, and I'm the reason we don't have to worry about getting busted for real.  My first name's Jim and I can also provide cover if someone wants to investigate why your husband might be getting special protection."

He gave her a salute and left.  Jenny hadn't given any thought to trying to blackmail the men who were using her.  Now it was pretty clear that if she wanted to try, she'd have a pretty hard time doing anything.  As she changed sheets and walked to the bathroom, she was still trying to sort out her emotions.  She understood that at some level she accepted that she was going to make love … fuck men to keep Jerry safe and that while she didn't like the idea, she was prepared to hold up her end of the deal.

When Maria joined her, she talked about how her attitude was changing.  Maria said that it was how all the women felt.  No one wanted to do this;  they all wanted to stay faithful to their men.  However, every single one talked about how they could separate what they did here from 'real life'.

"We all like the role playing dances more than the guys who want more from us, like Jerry.  He's hard to do because he wants a response that is hard to give.  We all want tenderness but having to fake love is a lot harder."

Chapter 6: The Lover?

As the clock was striking the hour, Jenny walked through the door and saw her next 'dance partner'.  He was the best-looking man she'd seen to this point, the youngest as well, only a few years older than she.  Jenny's immediate reaction was that this one might be fun if he didn't want anything too weird.

'He's the first one I might have been attracted to if I met him on the street,' she thought.

It should have set off alarm bells.

He smiled at her, a warm inviting, smile, casual, and friendly, and then said, "Ah, Jenny, I've been looking forward to getting to know you."

'Sure,' Jenny thought trying not to react to him, 'as in biblically know!'

She felt a touch of hope, she didn't think she could just crawl up on the bed and 'do it'.  As he moved towards her, instead of the bed, Jenny braced herself for whatever he was going to do.  She was emotionally unprepared when he reached over her and took the robe off the hook.

"Let's go out to the living room and visit for a while, I do want to know more about you, who you are."

He helped her put her robe on and escorted her to the living room.  When he showed her into a chair and then took his place on a couch several feet away, Jenny felt her defenses relax.

"Now I want to know everything about you;  let's start with where you were born.  I don't think that what you did before that counts for much, a priori theory to the contrary."  He said it with a charming grin and he looked expectantly at Jenny.

Confused, and uncomfortable, she'd braced herself to 'fuck' this guy.  She found she hadn't prepared for his more personal assault.  When the pregnant silence grew unbearable, she blurted out where she was born.  He responded with a corny joke, but she laughed, draining some of her tension.  This led to another innocuous but personal question.

Slowly, unaware of the scope, Jenny began to tell her life story.  With only minor prompting, she told all about Jerry, from when they met until what she'd seen today.  He then led the conversation into areas, areas that she was interested and current events that she followed, carefully keeping everything non-sexual and focused on her.

He was funny and the easiest person to talk to that Jenny had ever met.  She relaxed to the point that she forgot that she was wearing a robe, with a flimsy nightgown and nothing else.  When he began to flirt with her she wasn't conscious that she stopped clutching the neck of the robe, allow her neck to become visible.  His flirting was so lightly done, that Jenny was not aware of her response.  She was entranced by the intensity with which he listened to her.  He treated her every word as jewel to be treasured, weighed and studied.  Jenny could have talked for hours, and lost all track of the time.  He was just so natural that Jenny felt like she was talking to one of her girlfriends, but she was acutely aware that he was male, very male.

She became eager to understand this fascinating man.  Kevin, she learned, was ex-military working his way through college by working at the prison.  He was single and she discovered his desire to teach.  Jenny hadn't thought about why she was her until she saw Maria exit from her bedroom, and hurry to the bathroom.

Looking at the clock realized that they only had five minutes before he was to leave.  She felt like she'd been dashed with ice water.  Without this setup, she would have been drawn to Kevin.  If she wasn't married, he was the type of guy she'd want to date.  The idea of having to do a quickie was very distasteful;  Not because she found the idea of going to bed with him undesirable, quite the contrary.  If they'd met at a bar, he might have been able to get her to break her vows, assuming she hadn't had more sex today than she wanted in a month.

Still, she wanted to make the offer, "Kevin, I'm sorry I didn't keep up with the time, do you want to …"

He gave her another of those warm friendly smiles, "Jenny, don't worry.  I traded so that I actually have a double today, Harry gets a threesome tomorrow.  I just can't handle … well how most of these guys operate with a new girl.  I want to help worthy inmates, and this group is the safest way to do it.  It might surprise you to know that I don't 'dance' with all of the girls here.  I'd rather not have sex than to make it with someone I don't admire, or who doesn't want me as much as I want her.  I'll help Jerry even if we never do anything more than talk, so relax.  Can I get you something to drink?  I'm going to have a rum and coke … how about you?"

He started to get up and Jenny stood, realizing that she wanted to wait on him.

"Let me get those for us, I appreciate what you're doing and it's the least I can do."

As she fixed their drinks, she tried to sort out what she was feeling.  Her emotions where too muddled, and she decided, like Scarlet O'Hara, to worry about that tomorrow … she had always been good at compartmentalizing, and she'd wanted to continue to use that talent today.  Because she'd helped fix dinner, she knew where things were in the kitchen.  She put ice in the glasses, got two cans of coke from the fridge, found a bottle of rum and a lime.  She cut the lime put everything on a tray and carried it back into the living room.

As she set it on the coffee table in front of the couch, she said.  "I don't know how much rum to put in so I thought I'd let you mix them for us.  I don't want too much in mine, I don't drink much and …"

She was going to say that she still had another dance after he left, but it embarrassed her, and she didn't want to think about that right now.

Instead, she stood and watched as he mixed her drink then his.

He didn't use all the coke in hers saying, "Here try this.  See if it's too strong.  If it is we can water it down with more coke."

When he held the glass up, she took it, and without thinking and sat beside him to sample it.  It wasn't until she was seated that she realized how awkward it would be to get up and move back to her chair.  To cover her nervousness she took another very long pull on her drink, it had a little taste to it, but mostly it tasted like a flat coke with lime.

Kevin didn't seem to take any notice that she was practically touching him.  He just took up their conversation where they'd left off.  Jenny tried to discount his flattery, and flirting, but she couldn't forget that she was 'a sure thing'.  He didn't need to say these things, and she needed so badly to hear them.

He told a joke that was rather dirty, but Jenny burst out laughing it relieved more of her tension.  He told several more, all sexual and all very dirty but all of them were funny.  Jenny was laughing so hard she wasn't aware that her robe was gaping open.  He told one had a punch line about anal sex that Jenny found extremely funny.  She wondered if she would have even gotten it yesterday.  She knew she wouldn't have listened.

When she finished her drink, Kevin took it and made her a second one.  As he handed it to her, their fingers touched, and a current shot between them.  Jenny looked him in the eye and trying to let him know she wanted to be kissed.  Setting the drink down, he put his arm behind her on the couch.  Jenny moved into him;  taking her in his arms and he kissed her.  Their tongues touched and the current between them grew.

A distant part of Jenny noted the clock chiming nine o'clock.  Hearing movement, she opened her eyes to see Maria going into her bedroom.  Relaxing, she realized she hadn't wanted Maria to see her doing anything more daring than kissing.  Now that she was assured of privacy, Jenny closed her eyes and pressed her body to Kevin's.  When he didn't respond, she let her breasts rub on his chest.  Her nipples harden at the contact.

Jenny expected Kevin to lead her to her bedroom.  When he didn't, she felt an irrational frustration.  Even though she'd been involved in sex all day, she wanted this man who'd taken the time to court her.  She was responding to him in a way she wouldn't have thought possible.  All day long men had used her body.  After all that sex, she needed to be wanted for who she was.

Brushing his pants, she found him hard and wondered why he hadn't acted.  Gently, he moved her hand and broke the kiss.

"Jenny, I like you, and you can feel that I want you.  But unless you can say that you'd go to bed with me even if it wasn't for the bargain you've made, I won't go to bed with you.  You just felt that that I want you physically, but I want more than that.  I think you're the sexiest woman in the whole group, but I know you love your husband.  So, I won't take advantage of you that way.  If you're ready for an affair then so am I.  If not let's just keep on with what we were doing."

He moved back and kissed her.  Jenny banished all her little voices.  She was wet between her legs from just the kiss.  Of course, she didn't want to have an affair, but she feared for her sanity if she didn't get what Kevin was offering.  She'd already had sex with five men today, and as she was being filled by their orgasms, she'd been drained emotionally.  She was so emotionally needy that she would offer anything physically to get affection.  She hadn't known that she needed approval and acceptance so urgently, but clearly, she did.

She kissed him, trying to show her need without words.  When she felt his hands caressing her face, she had to have more.  She wanted the proof that someone cared about more than her sexual parts.  His touch of her face was his offering.  She responded by moving his hand to her right breast, pressing it to her chest.

While their tongues sought the other, she held her breath, hoping he would cherish breast and not fondle it sexually.  He clutched her to him, holding her breast as she had hope.  He held her the way a lover does as he drifts off to sleep with his beloved.  Her needs whetted, Jenny wanted more.  She felt like a flower, long un-watered being given a nutrient bath.

She needed love;  her banished voices couldn't warn her of the faux nature of what she was getting.  A different kind of passion stirred, one she hadn't felt all day.  She'd sensed it earlier with Mike.  The love of a mate, but it had been like smelling a neighbor's cooking, creating hunger without hope.  Kevin knew her, the real Jenny, and he wanted her.  Jenny wanted to express the love she'd bottled up for so many months.  Mentally and emotionally endowing Kevin with the essence of what she loved in her husband, she needed to have this man inside her.

Words without thought, without weight, without analysis, swirled in her head, 'How could it be cheating if I am obliged to be with him?  How could I worry about cheating since I've been with five men today?  Is there any way this could somehow be more unfaithful than what I've already done?  I have already agreed to be with so many men, so many times why would this time be different?  Isn't it okay to have one of the men she was doing this with, be more than just …"

Something refused to let her needs finish and needs supplied.

What did it matter?  If she had to have sex all day, was it so bad to have one of those times help her get through all this?  She stood, took his hand from her chest and pulled him to his feet.  She kissed him, and again and lost herself in that kiss.  Pressing her body to his, she wrapping her arms around his neck, and ground her pelvis on his organ.  He pushed her out to arm's length, enough distance to let her eyes focus on his.

"Jenny, are you ready to cheat on your husband with me?"

Jenny answered by pulling herself to him pressing hard on his erection, while letting him see the heat in her eyes.

Again, he pushed her from him, "I want to hear you say it."

Ruthlessly stifling the little voice in her head, Jenny whispered, "Yes, I'm going to cheat on him, but don't make me talk about him right now.  Please!"

She took his hand and led him to her bedroom.  Closing the door behind them, she hung her robe on the hook and watched as he undressed in front of the bed.  She felt a tingle in her twat and cold knot in her stomach.  Fear?  Anticipation?

'Both,' her body responded.

This wasn't like the others times today.  Again, the little voice tried to warn her but she let her actions strangle it.  Moving to him as soon as he had his pants off, she pressed her scarcely covered breasts into his naked chest.  Using her body, she pushed him back until he sat on the edge of bed.  Kneeling, she pulled his boxer shorts down exposing his erection.  Jenny's heart began to race;  she could feel her blood roaring in her ears.  She swallowed, trying to generate moisture in her suddenly dry mouth.  She was breathing so fast she felt light headed.  Every instinct screamed for her to run.  Instead, she bent over and pulled his boxers all the way to his ankles, giving his organ a little kiss as her mouth passed.  Straightening, she absently noted that it was about the same size as the others she'd seen.  Only Mike had been a tiny bit larger than the others erect, but his was different.  There was more skin, and it covered the head.

Without thinking, she straddled him, sitting on his lap, her eyes locked on his.  She had thought that it might go right up inside her.  She'd wanted that, but instead it had slid up her slit and was poking out between them.  The pressure on her clit sent shivers down her spine.  Kevin's eyes bore into her, and she sat very still.  Not breaking eye contact until the last possible second, he lifted her nightgown and allowed it to fall over his head.  Jenny was trembling, her eyes not vacant as he took her right breast into his mouth.  His tongue swirled the injured nipple and the pain made her gasp.  She hadn't known she was holding her breath.  Jenny lifted to try to take his organ inside her again.  Again, it slid up her very wet gash.  The contact with her clit almost made her moan …

Kevin lifted her off her feet, standing in one powerful fluid motion.  As he set her down, he lifted her nightgown over her head, throwing to the floor.  He pushed her to arm's length, this time so he could look at her.  Jenny stood very still, letting him enjoy what he was seeing.  She banished a fleeting memory of the first time she'd done this with Jerry.  She'd blushed then and she did now … but she didn't move.

Because of what he was giving her, she gave him the right to look.  He pulled her to him and he kissed her again.  His penis mashed against her naked skin.  His wetness on it seemed so very hot that felt she'd been permanently branded.  His hand on her back seemed to singe her skin.  He got on the bed, moved to the far side and directed her to lie down on it.  When she did, he propping himself up and began to study her.  First, he examined her face.  Jenny wanted to turn away, to hide her much catalogued imperfections, but his eyes froze her.  Those eyes were so deep Jenny thought she could see her own reflection on them.  When at last he smiled, Jenny felt the same rush of pride she felt at winning a gymnastic meet.  His focus shifted to her body.  Jenny had never felt so vulnerable in her entire life.  He leaned inspecting her breasts.

"Does that nipple hurt?  That happened today didn't it?"

His compassion washed over her and she wasn't embarrassed.  He knew what she had been doing all day, and his voice soothed her.  She wanted, needed for him to want her knowing everything she'd done.

Calmly she said, "Yes, my last dance partner had a name tag on and it caught my nipple wrong."

She quivered mentally for his response.  His acceptance of her central to her core needs.

When he didn't ask more, but simply asked, "Do you want me to go easy on it, or ignore it entirely?" she knew he'd come through for her again.

He was accepting her.  A lover knew that his beloved had sex with her husband, but he didn't care.  Their affair was apart from that.  Jenny was sure the details of what she'd done wouldn't change his feelings for her.  He might enjoy the telling, but he didn't have prurient interest in them.

By accepted that she was doing here, he became ever so much more special to her.  He continued his minute examination of her.  Only a magnifying glass would have uncovered more of her.  By letting him see her this minutely, Jenny knew that she was giving him certain rights to her body that were different from what she'd done with others.  He kissed her mound.  She shifted her legs, drawing back her knees to give him full access to her down there.  As he looked at her, he touched her skin, first feeling the smoothness of her shave then just experiencing the texture of the skin that made up her genitals.  Jenny knew she was wet, but she also knew she had K-Y down there.  As his fingers probed her vagina and then her anus, she wished she'd been able to get him inside her earlier.  Then the gel wouldn't be so evident.  It was odd that what was bothering her wasn't the incredible intimacy she was allowing him, but that he would see the preparations she had made for having sex without intimacy.

She didn't want him to think of her as someone who would have sex with strangers.  Still, as she lay there open to him, open in a way she'd never been for her husband, she could feel her excitement growing.  As she waited, she bit her lip to contain her building need to be possessed.  As he continued to look at her down there, she closed her eyes.  So sensitive was she that with her eyes closed, she could feel the pressure of his eyes as he looked at each part of her sex.  Her excitement build she almost squeezed her opening for him.  She couldn't keep herself from squirming, as she was suddenly afraid that he might see some evidence of the others she had today.  She felt a cold fear that some remnant of her earlier activities, or an imperfection might disgust him.  Making her reject her … she couldn't stand that, not now.  He shifted her and she knew he was examining her anus.  She'd never considered that part of her anything but sordid, now she willing offered it up for his sexual pleasure.

She felt the bed shift and she sucked in her breath expecting to feel his breath on her open vagina, but instead she felt his lips on her mouth.  He kissed her, deeply, tenderly.  She wrapped her arms around his head and drew him down to her.  He'd seen all her body, everything, and what he wanted was not her sex, the thing that every man who'd had her today had wanted, but her.  He wanted the Jenny that could only be had in a kiss.  She put her heart into that kiss.  Everything else stopped for her.  She was vaguely aware that his hand had found her breasts, that he was tenderly kneading them.  She wasn't aware that she'd continued to hold her legs open, her knees almost touching her breast, until she felt shift again.  Without breaking that kiss, he moved over her.  Only their lips touched until he broke the kiss settled on her.  He still held his weight above her, but now their skin touched as he looked down into her eyes.  She felt his penis at her opening ready to enter her, and she shifted her hips to make entry easy.

He paused and in a grave voice asked, "Are you sure you want to do this Jenny?  To cheat on your husband?  To let another man have you?  To take me inside you and strive for my cum deep inside you?  If you do, say what I want to hear you say."

Jenny refused to let her mind hear the words, her lips answered, "I want you inside me Kevin, I want you to cum in me.  Make love to me, make love to me like a lover, accept what I'm giving you, fill me with you."

Again he asked his voice impossibly deep, "It's okay with you that you're breaking your marriage vows, you want me to make you an adulterer?"

Jenny's eyes were lost in his as her voice said, "Yes, I want you, even if I could have him right now, I'd want you inside me, I'll help you bathe me in your seed."

She pulled him down to her and felt his organ separate her vaginal lips.  He used little pushes, small thrusts to work all the way inside her.  Finally, and endless time later, she felt his pubic bone on hers.  The pressure of it on her clit was more than she could bear, but she pushed up as hard as she could, frantic to gain even another millimeter of him.  Her strength ebbed and gradually she was pressed down into the mattress;  ultimately giving up the contest she relaxed.  She expected him to push harder into her, or to begin to pump.

Instead, he relaxed as well, leaned down and kissed her in a way that said, "Hey, I like you."

He snuggled into her and Jenny felt like he was being absorbed into her body.  She curled herself around him to give him all of her, expecting again that he would begin to move inside her.  He didn't;  instead he gave her another little kiss and rubbed his chest on hers.  Jenny had an image of his chest being absorbed into her body.  In an instant, her mind was overloaded with stimuli.  Trying to understand, what was happening Jenny surrendered herself to sensations bombarding her.  It seemed each and every one of her cells in contact with Kevin opened and accepted a piece of him.  She felt the effect of not only the organ inside her, but the penetration of each of her cells.  So overloaded was she by his possession of her that it took her long seconds to hear his incredibly rich voice.

"You are so beautiful!  Even more beautiful now than before.  Being inside you lets me see more of you, right now.  You are a part of me, and I you.  We are a special being called KevinJenny.  I can see your inner beauty even clearer than I saw your physical beauty just now.  Right now, you are the most beautiful woman in the whole world.  I mean that!  Right now, you're more beautiful than any beauty queen or Hollywood starlet.  You've taken me into you, inside you.  Feel me?  No, feel us!  Feel where we are joined.  I love looking at you right now, because my eyes see the fantastic you inside."

So deeply did Jenny feel his eyes, it embarrassed her.  It had given her chills to have him watch her so intently as he'd entered her, reading her every thought and response.  Now, to have him look so deeply inside her, to have him study her face, to read her emotions while she was so hyper aware the touch of him inside her channel … In an indescribable way, it was like being an exhibitionist.  As if he was watching her make love to someone else.  She tried to pull him down to her, to break eye contact.

"No Jenny, this is where we grow closer, like the lovers we are.  When we're this close together, we have no secrets.  There is nothing that we can hold back.  Look at me and you'll know that it's true, you belong to me right now, and because you're my adulterous lover, your sex secrets belong to me too.  Don't look scared.  I don't care about what you did with the men here.  You don't care about them.  Maybe some other time we can have a laugh about them.  Right now, I want you to give me your virginity.  Feeling me all the way inside you, I want you to look at me and give me every tiny detail you remember about when you gave up your virginity.  Who was it anyway?"

He flexed inside her and reflexively she squeezed him.  That level of awareness didn't stop her mind from being flooded with details of that special evening.  She looked up at Kevin feeling even blood pulse through the veins on the organ inside her.  Knowing that more than their sex organs where joined, she felt fused to him, as if her heart was trying to synchronize to his, she wanted to deny him this

As she looked up into Kevin's eyes, she knew she didn't have the willpower, the ability to hold any part of herself back from him.  After five different men had used her she wanted, needed, had to give more.  Maria was right, what Kevin was offering, she couldn't, didn't want to live without.

"Please," she begged wanting to plead with him not to take this, but she couldn't form any other words.

Defeated, she beseeched him, "Don't look at me while I tell you …" but his eyes never left hers.

Again, she could almost see her tiny reflection in them.  She made one last feeble attempt to pull him down to her, to divert him, but he remained above her.  Although his chest was touching hers, it wasn't his weight that was making breathing difficult.

She bit her lip, took a deep breath and whispered, "It was Jerry;  before today he was my only one.  We were in college and after a date, we went back to his dorm room to watch a video tape.  His roommate had gone home for the weekend and we were sitting on his bed.  We started kissing and we didn't stop.  It wasn't very original or romantic."

Jenny wanted to blush, but she couldn't, Kevin flexed inside her again, and again she responded by squeezed hard on him.

His voice was soft, but full of authority, "That won't do Jenny.  I want every detail, every thought you had from the time you decided to do it until you finished cleaning up afterwards.  When did you decide that you weren't going to stop him, that night or days before?"

Jenny sighed and remembered, "I'd been thinking about it for a long time, I'd talked to my girlfriends about what I needed to do, but I hadn't made a decision.  When things got going, I just didn't feel like stopping …"

She could see in his face that even this wasn't going to be enough.  She tried to swallow, but her mouth was too dry.

"I decided when he unsnapped my bra.  I'd never let him do that before.  When he did, we were kissing, and I decided that I wanted to find out what it would be like.  It wasn't so much a decision to make love as a decision that I wouldn't stop him.  I was very nervous, but I don't think he even noticed.  I mean we'd played hand games before.  He'd even touched me down there," she unconsciously pushed her pelvis up emphasizing where 'down there' was, "but only on the outside of my panties when I'd worn a skirt.  I was wearing slacks;  if I'd made the decision earlier, I'd have worn a skirt.  I even had on a blouse that buttoned down the front, instead of a sweater or slip on.  I remembered it was tucked into my slacks."

Jenny smiled at the memory of how awkward they had been.

"He'd unhooked my bra through my blouse.  He told me later that it had been a prank, to see what I'd do."

Jenny thought that her skin temperature was rising.  Certainly, the organ inside her seemed warmer.  She hadn't thought it possible to be more aware of him.  Looking up at Kevin feeling the grain of his organ inside her she could also feel the memory of that very first time.  She pleaded with her eyes not have to reveal that to him but his expression gave her no choice

"When I didn't react to being unfastened he used his other hand to push up my bra inside my blouse.  His hand felt good through the thin fabric.  We continued to kiss and I let him unbutton me.  I was struck by how warm his hand was when he touched my breast for the first time skin to skin.  I let him pull my blouse out of my pants, and he pushed me back on his bed.  He was sort of over me as we continued to kiss.  He kissed my neck then kissed lower, and his mouth felt wonderful on my breast.  He suckled my nipple it made my whole body tingle.  He used his mouth on my breast for so long, I thought that he was satisfied with that.  That we wouldn't be doing anything else.  I remember being relieved, but at the same time, I was so horny … I wanted to be touched here," again, without thinking, Jenny pushed up with her hips and squeezed the cock inside her.

She was flooded with memories of how it had felt that night.  She'd had the strongest urge to masturbate while he was sucking on her boobs.  It was so strong that when …

"I was very turned on, and when he unbuckled my belt it was all I could do to keep from helping him.  I remember I started to help and instead I cradled his head and held it to my boob.  I was surprised that his hand went under my panties right away.  I thought he'd touch me outside first, and it made me very nervous because I knew I was wet.  I was afraid that I'd gross him out.  When his fingers touched me, and I knew he felt that moisture, I blushed.  Then he pulled his mouth from my breast and grinned at me.  I actually covered my face with my hands I was so embarrassed.  I remember I started to say something when he moved my hands and kissed me so deeply that I just blotted out what he was doing to me down there for a few seconds."

Jenny tried to stop, but Kevin silently demanded she continue.

"When he broke the kiss, I was so very aware that his finger was right at my opening.  I wanted him to push it in, I'd never done that and I wanted to know what it felt like.  So, when he asked me to 'take them off' I didn't hesitate to wiggle out of both my slacks and my panties.  I know how silly this is going to sound but I didn't think that I was taking them off so we could do it.  I thought he wanted them off so he could touch me better.  I had never touched him and I had the strongest urge to do that.  I moved my hand to his pants and I felt his thing through them.  His response was to take his finger out of me and unzip his pants.  I still had my feet on the floor at that point, but when he pulled down his pants I knew that we were going to go all the way.  I moved to get all the way on the bed.  It was awkward;  I didn't know just how I was supposed to be.  I mean I knew I had to spread my legs for him, but that was about all.  I remember being afraid to talk.  I was surprised at the time that he didn't seem to know much more than I did.  He'd been in the army.  I had no idea I was his first too."

Anyway, after a lot of fumbling I was on the bed and he was on top of me with his pants pulled down but still on.  I had my pants off but my blouse, while open, was still on.  He jabbed me in the wrong place and it hurt.

I screamed and he said, "Don't worry it only hurts at first."

 Then he jabbed me again.  It was the wrong place again and I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't.  The next time he jabbed, I shifted he went in.  I could feel it tear me;  it did hurt, but jabs in the wrong place had hurt more.  I was so overwhelmed by the knowledge of what I was doing that I was sort of removed from the sensations.  I wanted him to go slow so I could feel the newness of something being inside me, but he pushed all the way in.  Then he came.  He tried to pump a few more times, but I think that was the fastest he ever got soft.  It was out of me almost before I knew it was in me.  He was so apologetic.  I told him it was okay, to just hold me for a little while, but even that didn't last too long."

Jenny paused and Kevin flexed inside her causing her reflexive response.

She continued, "He needed to go to the bathroom and so did I.  He let me go first, and I pulled my pants on before I went in there.  I was bleeding, but not all that much.  I didn't have a pad so I used some toilet paper in my panties.  I'm glad I did because his wad came out after I'd put my pants back on."

Jenny searched his eyes, looking from one to the other.

"Is that what you wanted?"

Jenny knew she had just shared more of that first time than she'd ever done with anyone, even her best friend.  She'd never told anyone that the whole thing had lasted about twenty seconds.  Jenny gasped, she had just been unfaithful, but she couldn't decide to whom.  It also felt like she was being unfaithful to her Kevin to discuss doing this with another man with him so fully inside her.  This was what she'd wanted that first time.  To really feel the organ inside.  To be able to enjoy the body that had joined to hers as she was enjoying his right now.

Kevin's head came down and he kissed her neck below her ear, it was a tender kiss.  Jenny ran her hands on his back kissed his forehead.  Once again, she'd thought it possible to feel more joined, but then his organ began to throb inside her.  It was forcing her body to pulse in time with his, it seemed the organ belong to her, a missing piece just now discovered.

Slowly, he began to move inside her.  She felt his need, and somehow that need became her own.  She moved to try to satisfy it.  She pulled him into her, anxious to receive what he was now pushing to release.  She felt his tension increase and she felt her body open to his.

'To flower open,' she thought.

As his rhythm became a little less regular, she knew she exulted to receive his seed.  It startled her to know that she wanted it, that seed.  Wanted it in a different fashion than she'd ever wanted Jerry's.  She felt like her vagina was sucking him to get what it wanted.  Then she felt a tremor ripple down the length of her sheath.  It wasn't any sort of orgasm, in a strange way it felt like her vagina had milked his penis.  It didn't it again, a fluttering like tiny butterfly wings.  With that, Jenny felt her insides opening up to this man.  When she felt his pre-spurt, in her she had a vision of her cervix opening to receive the sperm.  Making ready to allowing his sperm to go deeper inside her than ever before.  He came, and Jenny felt a new throbbing as his seed entering her.  She pulled on him and moved her hips absorbing as much of him as she could, milking him for more of his precious fluid.  This was what it felt like to create life.  Even with the pill, she wondered if perhaps she had, if she were now pregnant.  Feeling the release of his tension, she snuggled him as his full weight, for the first time, pushed her into the mattress.

She hadn't had an orgasm, she'd never been close, yet she couldn't remember being so satisfied.  She knew how much pleasure she'd given her lover.  She knew that his joy made her more sated than a thousand orgasms that left her screaming and weak.  She'd received more than orgasm, and sperm she'd received love.

The was a long contented silence then a strange man's voice said, "That was nice, do you want to tell me how to get in touch with you so I can come and fuck you any time I want?"

Jenny blushed, and understood the difference in what he was asking and what she'd been doing all day.  To let him come to their house, to have her in their bed, to stain her sheets with someone other than Jerry …  She was very still.

Her mind and her voices returned, 'This was your fantasy, you needed, but don't let it ruin your marriage.  This wasn't real, you were playing a head game, but don't get lost.'

She knew she hadn't meant it about having an affair, but had she?  As he lifted up and looked down on her, his eyes didn't seem to have the power they'd had.

Jenny gave shook her head softly and thought, 'No, I won't take a real lover.  I will be faithful to my husband … in my heart.  Even with my body, in my own way.  If he were my lover, I wouldn't remove his love from me.  I'm not as anxious to douche, but I won't regret it when I do.'

When he finished dressing, he looked over at her and cocked an eyebrow.  Jenny knew she should do or say something, but was unable to find words.  Finally, she got off the bed, walked over and kissed his cheek.  When she did, he gripped her fanny pressing a finger into her anus and kissed her fiercely.  Jenny returned the kiss and wiggled her bottom on his finger.  No, this wasn't a lover, just another man who was protecting her husband.

He grabbed her hand and broke their kiss, "No, we don't have time for that right now;  you have another dance in a few minutes.  This was more than a dance;  I'll make sure I see you next time too.  I'll trade off again and we'll have plenty of time.  Now, we both have places we have to be."

He gave her a slap on her bottom and walked out the door just as their fluid slipped from her and ran down her leg.  Moving carefully to the bedside Jenny got one of the wipes to catch it and needed two to clean properly.  It was only after she'd changed her bed that she remembered that her last dance was going to be … with Maria.  She knew she needed to think about Kevin, but the thought of being intimate with Maria overwhelmed her.

Jenny retched, then she did it again, but she caught it before she let herself throw up.  Even with all she'd done, the idea of being in bed with two people was just too much.  If the third were a man, it would be bad enough.  Having two men touch her sexually at the same time made her skin crawl, but it wouldn't involve anything she hadn't done already today.  She was very tempted to ask for another tranquilizer.  Maria had said she didn't swing both ways, but that she'd be actively involved … that she'd kissed a woman down there.

Oral sex had lost some its repugnance;  she'd certainly enjoyed having it done to her.  Still, the idea still seemed so nasty, even if she'd just douched.  Giving blow-jobs probably would never be something she enjoyed, but it wasn't offensive.  It was outside the body and except when there was a 'woman taste' involved it wasn't unpleasant … well the sperm she had today didn't taste good either, but it wasn't as bad as she'd expected.  Maria had said that the worst thing she'd have to do was to kiss around a man's cock … Jenny played a vision of that in her mind and decided that if she just concentrated on the cock she could probably do it … not that she had any choice in the matter.

When Jenny arrived in the bathroom, Maria was already there.  She was sitting on the commode giving herself an enema.

She made a face and said, "I hate when they just pound your ass for the whole time.  He was hard but he just couldn't cum.  So, after he said I was too 'loose' he just pounded my ass for thirty minutes.  He came a few minutes ago and didn't even bother to say thanks on his way out.  I hate having my butt busted like that, it's going to hurt tomorrow, and I hate to be reminded of what I've done here once I get home.  I hope he doubles up on someone else next time …"

As Maria talked, Jenny understood for the first time that some of the men might not 'enjoy' her.  Some, might actively avoid her!  Her reaction to that revelation was mixed, which scared her.  It bothered her to know that she had too much pride to accept that some man might turn down her ever so available body.  At the same time, the idea of having fewer men did appeal to her.

"How many men are there?" Jenny asked

"There are twenty-two, which means that very rarely we have nine dance partners, but it almost always works out that someone is out of town, or has weekend company.  Sometimes during hunting season, we'll have as few a four, but generally, those keep us longer so it doesn't matter.  With you, we now have eleven girls.  If we can find one more we'll be able to go to three times in two months, which is really better.  We've had as many as twenty girls, but that was unusual, and it didn't last long.  The guys are very picky.  Even with over three thousand convicts out there, we're always on the lookout for someone new.  You will be too, but don't approach anyone unless you're asked.  They'll spot them, and they'll do background checks.  You don't want Jerry to find out about what you're doing here, and if we get infiltrated that'll happen."

Chapter 7: Three's a Crowd?

Jenny shivered trying not to think about Kevin.  No, she didn't want Jerry to ever have a hint about what she'd done.  She also didn't like the idea of 'recruiting'.

"Maria, what do I need to expect for this next … dance, where will we be?"

"It's a blue room guy, so we'd normally go to the dance floor he's assigned, we can use your bed if that'll make it easier on you.  I know how you feel.  Believe me, I remember my first time to do this, and it was here.  My real sex life was barely above missionary.  This won't be as bad as you think.  I'll do the close work, unless you feel comfortable doing it."

"No!" Jenny said with more force than she intended.

"I didn't think so, but I'll be extra clean just in case."  she said as she bit her lip.

Jenny blushed at what wasn't being said.

Then couldn't help but ask, "Does that mean that you … you will … I mean do I have to let you … you know?"

"Charlie is very easy going, he likes to have two at the same time, but mostly he likes to have them giving all their attention to him.  All men like to see two women go at it, and if I do go down on you, it will make it shorter for us.  I WILL be going down on him while he's is inside you.  You'll need to do that too when he's in me.  You don't have to touch me but you'll need to tongue his dick while part of it's inside me.  You'll also have to lick his balls and that'll put your face right in the action.  When you lick his dick, just use your hand to let me know you're doing it, and I'll stop moving so you don't have to worry about touching me with your tongue by accident.

"We'll both give head while he's licking the other, men like that.  We'll probably give him head at the same time at some point.  It's better if we're both on the cock at the same time.  I'll try to get him to wait until you're a little turned on before we do that.  Finally, to answer your earlier question, yes, you ought to let me go down on you.  You don't have to return the favor, but if you think you can, it makes it easier.  I play a lot of mind games in there when we double."

Maria moved off the commode and Jenny took her place.  She was more self-conscious about what she was doing than she'd been all day and more determined to be 'clean'.  Talking to Maria had made her feel better, Maria wasn't gay, this was just something else she did that she didn't want to do.  Jenny resolved that she would try to make it easy for her, not that she had any choice.  This was going to happen … Jenny shuddered as a vivid image flashed through her mind of what it was going to be like to have to lick the base of a cock that was inside Maria, or to know that it had been or would be in her sheath too.

Time seemed to accelerate, until Maria was taking her by the hand leading her into the room Maria had been using.  As they entered the room, she saw a big, fat, old man in middle of the bed, leering at her.  Jenny's stomach clenched.  This was a man she was going to have to let do things to her that she had never let her husband do, and do it with someone watching!

"Hello Charlie, I can see you didn't waste any time getting ready for us.  This is Jenny;  she's never done a threesome, so go a little easy with her okay?"

Charlie grinned, the perfect caricature of the dirty old man and said, "She doesn't look so innocent.  She looks like she's spent the last seven hours getting fucked.  How many cocks have fucked you today little darlin'?"

With her every sense urging her to run, only Maria grip on her arm kept her from fleeing the room.  Speaking was impossible!

"What's the matter?  Cat got your tongue?  Come on, honey, I want to hear what you've done today," his voice mimicking a classic pervert.

Jenny swallowed hard, she just couldn't tell this horrible man what she done, it was obscene!

Marie jumped in, "You know we we're not to say who did what, but I can tell you that seven guys have used my pussy, two have shot on my face, I've sucked everyone's cock, and I've had four up my ass, one who pissed me there.  I had three cum in my mouth, which I swallowed, I've been tied up twice, and I've spanked one guy's ass.  I've had toys in every hole, and I've lost track of how many times I've cum.  I've cleaned as best I could, but you know I'm well used.  Jenny?"

Jenny had listened in horror as Maria recounted her day, and now she was blushing.  It finally dawned on her that this man got excited by … she couldn't exactly call it voyeurism, but Marie had just shown her what was expected.

"I've had six different men …" she couldn't continue she was too humiliated.

She didn't want to think about what she'd been doing much less tell this dirty old man about it, especially about Kevin.

"Go easy on her Charlie, it's her first day, I know she's taken it up the ass a few times and we both know everyone got a blow job.  She's still the freshest pussy you'll have had in fifty years.  When she got here the only dick to plumb her treasure had been her husband's, and I'll bet she's still as tight as a virgin."

Maria pulled Jenny over to the bed.  Turned her so she had her back to Charlie, then pushed on her neck, making Jenny bend over.  Jenny wanted to resist, but she seemed to have lost her ability to.  When Maria pulled up her nightgown to reveal her bottom, Jenny blushed harder than she'd ever done in her whole life, but she didn't move.

A little voice deep in her brain was shouting, 'Get through this!  Get through this!'  It was almost loud enough that she didn't hear another voice yelling 'whore!'

With a huge sob, Jenny accepted that she was going to have to endure what was being done to her, to do what she had to.  Jerry deserved her help, and if the rest of the day hadn't been bad, when she'd agreed, she'd expected every man to be like this one.  Mentally she steeled herself to endure the next forty-four minutes … That's all she had to do, endure until the clock chimed.

"Doesn't she have a pretty pussy?  Spread your legs a little Jenny;  let him see what a treat you're going to be giving him."

When Jenny managed to force her legs to open Maria continued, "Look at that pussy, doesn't it look good enough to eat?"

Without warning Jenny felt a finger penetrate her but it pulled right back out.

"She smells as sweet as a flower, here smell."

Jenny stood, and again almost bolted from the room before Maria caught her around the waist.  Looking over her shoulder and was horrified to see the man sniff Maria's outstretched finger, damp with her KY jelly.

"That is sweet pussy juice, climb up here sweetie and let me get a good taste of that pussy of yours."

Jenny would never know how she was able to crawl up on the bed.  She straddled his chest as he lay flat, so she was looking at his toes.  She felt Maria's hand on the back of her neck pushing her down until her face was inches above the sheet that covered his cock.  She felt tears forming as someone, she knew it was Charlie, lifted her nightgown.  For the first time she felt like a slut to lie there on top of his huge belly, letting Charlie was look at her.  She felt his breath on her shaved lips.  It was just enough warning that she didn't bolt when his tongue violated her privates.  He was licking her like she was an ice cream cone.  Getting her taste, not attempting to turn her on.  She blushed at what she was allowing this dirty old man to do.  She was being eaten, as surely as if he were using a knife and fork.  She wanted to run screaming from the bed, it was humiliating to be used like this.

Using his hands, he spread her open and began to make satisfied noises as he slurped in her crack.  Evidently liked the taste of her and to her horror Jenny could feel her body responding to the stimulation of his tongue.  Mentally, she was not being turned on, but her vagina was getting wet anyway.  Jenny felt a tear roll down her cheek.  She knew he was enjoying her discomfort.  It wasn't fair that she was providing him exactly what he wanted from her.  Emotionally she felt like her wetness was being pulled forcefully from her, that he was taking it from her.  She certainly wasn't giving but he was taking anyway.

"Lift up a little Jenny so I can get to Charlie, I think he'd enjoy a little head while he's eating," Maria said.

With eyes tightly shut, Jenny lifted up so she was on all fours.  Maria pulled back the sheet from the foot of the bed and pushed it right up to Jenny's arms.  Jenny almost looked to see what Maria was uncovering but kept her eyes tightly shut while the assault on her genitals continued.  She bit her lip as the tongue worked inside her for the first time.

As few seconds later, she felt Maria's head under her chest.  Using her gymnastic skills Jenny arched her back, until her face was only slightly below the slob's nipples.  The sounds that followed left no doubt what Maria was doing, even if she didn't feel the bobbing of Maria's head as she gave oral sex.

Jenny opened her eyes and was repulsed to find that from her position, the man's belly was so huge she couldn't see the thing Maria had in her mouth.  It took every ounce of will power a few minutes later when Charlie lifted her, twirled her like a baton and planted her on his organ.

She felt Maria's hair on her bottom, and she froze.  Seconds later, she felt Maria's tongue move up the man's shaft, through her slit and swirl around her anus.  With that touch, she went as rigid as a board.  Incredibly, Charlie chose that second to roar like bull stuck on a barbwire fence as he came in her.

Jenny began to tremble, literally terrified of what would come next.

She was astounded when Charlie said in a most grandfatherly voice, "Jenny, the drunk on a blind donkey that laid out the streets of San Antonio can see from his grave how much this is bothering you.  We're not monsters;  we're not going to push you beyond your limits, whatever those may be.  Sometime you might like to do a threesome, or take two guys.  That's not required.  Maria, I think I'm going to call it a night."

He lifted Jenny off him, and she saw for the first time the penis that had been inside her.  Looking like a cross between a beach Moby Dick and Santa Clause he said in the kindest voice, "Jenny, this will be the hardest day for you.  Ray was right;  you're a lady.  We'll try to treat you that way.  I spoke with Kevin as I came in.  He won't be back with you for at least three months.  We'll alert everyone to be careful about what kind of games we play with you.  Most important of all remember, if you do your bit, your husband will do easy time and be back home before you'd have believed it possible."

After Charlie left, Jenny and Maria had a very long talk.  Jenny let her hair down in a way she'd never done before in her life.  She talked about Kevin and how she'd felt.  Maria had helped her understand her own need to fantasize.  Maria helped her to understand that in her heart of hearts she'd never betrayed Jerry.  She didn't give Kevin her address.  What she'd done was for here, and it stayed on the dance floor.  In the special place she'd locked her love;  she was still a faithful wife.

Release

Twenty-One months later:

Charlie had been right, that first day had been her worst.  She never did take part in another threesome, and when she saw Kevin again he was just another of the men she was grateful to for protecting her husband.

It had been three months since she had been on one of those dance floors.  Even the memory of those times was distant, unreal.  It was a different Jenny who had gone there, and that person was no longer part of Jenny's life.  She had tightly compartmentalized what she'd done and she had almost forgotten about it.

Today she was in Huntsville to pick up Jerry.  She was so excited she was squirming.  It was a hot day and she was sitting in her car, an old beat up Ford, but still clean and reliable.  The air conditioning was running full blast and she was watching a corner for the first sight of her husband.

He'd told her in his last phone call that he didn't want her to meet him at the prison gate.  He'd named a restaurant down town someone had recommended.  He told her he would take a taxi there because he didn't want her to see the gauntlet of prostitutes and drug dealers who lined the exit of the release center.  She'd driven by anyway, and they looked like the vultures they were.  Those sorry excuses for humanity knew each released convict had money in his pocket, so they fought like wolves to get it.  He'd begged her not to wait for him there;  he didn't want her soiled by that nastiness.

When she saw Jerry get out of the cab, she hurtled into his arms.  She'd left her car door open and the engine running.  Jerry so filled her thoughts she was lucky she hadn't locked the keys and her purse inside.

Except Jerry didn't take her in his arms, he held her off with a curt, "We have to talk."

Escorting her to the car, he said harshly, "You drive, my license has expired."

Jenny's head was spinning.  She'd run this scene, this day, a thousand times in her daydreams.  She thought she was prepared for anything.  Although she was anxious to hold him, to make love to him, she knew that some newly released convicts had physical trouble at first.  She was prepared for that.  She was even prepared for her own shyness at being with him.  She felt as virginal as when she'd first sat in his dorm room.  Still she'd be as aggressive, or as passive as he wanted.  She thought she was prepared for everything, but she had no clue about his anger with her!

She could understand if he was angry at the world, or at the system.  She would have understood if he blamed her for what he did, but he'd never given her even a hint that he'd held the slightest animosity toward her.  At their last visit three weeks ago, he'd been bubbly with plans for their future.  Now he detested the sight of her.

Using a hard earned maturity and understanding of the male animal she was silent, waiting for him to revel himself to her.  When they'd been on the open expressway for about forty-five minutes, they saw a sign for a rest area.

"Pull into that rest stop, we need to talk." he told her, his voice still harsh.

He immediately got out of the car and walked on the grass.  From the way he acted Jenny was sure that if he hadn't seen dogs doing their business, he might have taken off his shoes.  She looked at him standing there.  Her eye filled with tears, her heart overflowing with love for her spouse.  She knew that he probably hadn't stepped on grass since he'd fallen out of the world.

He walked back to the car sat down, then mumbled, "Get us to a park near your apartment;  I need to walk on grass before I can talk."

Jenny wiped her eyes and drove.  It took another two hours to get there.  During that time, she'd honored Jerry's silence.  She loved him so much she was willing to let him move at his own pace.

When she pulled up to stop in a small park near her apartment, her he looked her in the eye and said viciously, "I want a divorce!  As soon as possible!  I've been paroled to your apartment, so I have to go there, but I don't want to be in the same room with you.  I'll sleep on your floor until I can contact my parole officer about moving."

His voice was so cold Jenny shivered.  She was shaking her head in disbelief.  The happy tears she'd been on the edge of shedding where overwhelmed by bitter ones.

"Jerry?  Why honey?  What's wrong?  Do you blame me for what I said about the car that day?  You know how sorry I am!  Please, I don't understand!"

She could barely speak through the constriction in her throat.  The look on Jerry's face scared her.

She never seen such fury as he snarled, "I did that.  I would have done anything for you, paid any price, so why did you betray me?"

Jenny was flabbergasted.

"I never betrayed you!  I've done everything I could to support you.  I never missed a visiting day, and I wrote you every day!"

Jerry began to tremble, and for an instant Jenny thought he might hit her.

"You don't call fucking half the prison staff betraying me?  My God girl!  The thing that made us most special was that you were the only woman I'd ever been with, and I was your only man.  I know why you did it, I found out yesterday about the whole sorry setup.  I know that's why I'm getting out in record time and why I did such an easy fall.  But I would have rather been raped a hundred times a day than for you to do what you did!"

He was shouting now, some of his spittle hit Jenny in the eye.  She buried her face in her hands and tried to die.  Jerry didn't seem to notice.

 "How many men did you do?  How many times did you fuck me over?  Did you ever consider asking me?  Even one time?  Ever think about talking to me about this?  Did you consider that I might be able to protect myself?  Did you forget that I was Special Forces before I went to college?  Did you forget everything about me when you had all those men inside you?  Did you like it?  They said you girls do everything, did you?  Did you do for them what you wouldn't do for me?"

He bolted from the car and paced.  Jenny's world collapsed.  She had worked so hard to forget what she'd done that her first reaction had been indignation at his aspersions on her character.

He got back in the car.

"Take me to your apartment, I don't have a choice about that, but if you have one shred of decency, one iota of concern for my dignity, you'll keep your mouth shut and find someplace else to stay until I can move."

Jenny blinked, surprised she was hadn't been able to will herself to death.  She felt dead, so emotionally drained that she was surprised her body was able to do things like breath and blink.  She hurt so much inside;  it didn't seem possible that her heart could continue to beat.  She tried to take his hand, he pulled away.  She couldn't stand to see the pain in his eyes.

"Honey, please, I love you so much …"

His angry shout cut her off, "Don't you ever call me 'honey' or any other thing.  You lost that right!"

He was shaking again, but after a minute of deadly silence he said, "This is killing me.  I can't even run away.  If you ever did love me, please leave me alone in your apartment, stay someplace else and let me get my shit together."

Jenny desperately wanted to talk.  She was even more desperate to be held.  Drawing wisdom from deep inside her, she was able to start the car and take him to her place.  When they got there, she gave him the key and promised to return tomorrow.  She gave him the cell phone she had bought for him and begged him to call her if thought she could come back sooner.

"Jerry, I'll be at Marci's.  Please don't hate me, please give me a chance."

As she drove off she tried to find the resolve to fight for the love of her life.  She wondered what he would do when he saw all the welcome home banners she'd used to decorate for him.  She had to pull over to the side of the road and cry.  Maybe tomorrow she could find the will … to fight or to die.

 

Jerry

It was almost an out of body experience as I entered the Apartment that Jenny had rented for us.  I hadn't slept in two days, and my mind was practically schizophrenic, except that sounds too organized for how I felt.  When I opened the door, saw all the decorations, and welcome home banners, I was paralyzed.  If I hadn't seen my recliner, I'm not sure I would have been able to walk all the way through the door.  I accidentally slammed the door behind me.  I hadn't had many doors to close in the last two years, and those I closed were the heavy steel kind. 

 

The sound startled me and I hurried to my chair.  I didn't even recline, I leaned forward held my head in my hands and I wept.  What should have been one of the happiest days of my life had turned to shit.  I loved my wife more than life, and I would do anything for her.  I hated sluts, and my wife had become a slut. 

 

My mother was a slut.  She was probably certifiably mentally ill.  She hadn't a clue who my father was, and never cared.  Her idea of a good date was a gangbang.  She was a Certified Public Accountant, and I think she managed to keep her professional and personal life separate.  We lived in a nice house and always had plenty of stuff.  She was an attractive woman, but most of the men she dragged home weren't.  I do remember one man who hung around for almost a whole school year.  I was in 7th grade and he wasn't a bad male role model.  They were members of a group of swingers, but he eventually got fed up and split.  I was a senior in high school when my mother contracted AIDS. 

 

A few weeks after it was confirmed, she committed suicide, or she was murdered.  I don't think the cops were ever certain, but I didn't care.  I hated her, and I didn't go to her funeral.  I'd been living on my own for the last two years.  I got a weekly check from her, and I worked after school.  When she died I got a big insurance check, her death wasn't ruled a suicide so they had to pay me.  I held out enough to cover what she would have given me until I graduated and gave the rest to the Red Cross.

I was determined to marry a virgin, and to be a virgin when I married.  I took a lot of abuse when I did my time in the Army to earn money for college, but I was determined not to have a wife like my mother, and not to be like the scumbags she brought home.  I'd set my standards impossibly high, and when I met Jenny I almost began to believe in miracles.  I put her on a pedestal and I was determined to keep her there. 

To Be Continuted