absmis
							Member Since October 19, 2009
						
													
											
	
	
	
		Me my Mom and our neighbour
	
	
		by 
					
				davidj
	
	
		 5387 days ago
	
	
		
			
									
								absmis
			
			
				 5859 days ago
			
		
		
											
													  
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						1 
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				Very good story. Very hot! Suggestion: Add structure by using paragraphs. This makes it easier for the reader to manage the story with our eyes. Also, a few typos and grammar issues. Overall, very good job!Keep writing.
				
		
	