Jillicious
Member Since October 19, 2009
Alone for the weekend
by
naughty_girl2
5019 days ago
Jillicious
5491 days ago
-
5
+
It is a good story. However, it is like reading one long run on paragraph. You could use some line breaks and paragraph separation. Also it would be "waist", not "waste". It would be "to" not "too". Just touch it up a bit and that would make it great.
Double the Trouble, Double the Fun
Hell yeah that was a good story. Thanks