DownUnderWonder
Member Since October 19, 2009
Cousins at the gym
by
Pennywise
4977 days ago
DownUnderWonder
5448 days ago
Pennywise
4977 days ago
DownUnderWonder
5448 days ago
-
1
+
No build up, no descriptions, horrible spelling and even worse grammar. You seriously need to have someone proof read your stories before you post them
Cherry Poppins part 1
by
hello_pity
hello_pity
Honestly i dont know how you can call that a story, nothing happened at all. It was more like an introduction to a longer story. Seriously, give people something to like about your stories or they wont come back and read the continuations. More content is
Heather and I on Camera
by
_Brent_123
_Brent_123
This is an excellent story. You have a great control of english and your paragraphs and grammer are exceptional. But the story itself is the main strength. You have hit on some great characters here, please continue with them
Ellie Marks of Manitoba
by
AtlantisX
AtlantisX
I have to say that i'm very impressed. The interactions at the beginning of the story are very believable and the intimacy is well described and structured. It may be a little far fetched falling for someone that quickly, but these things do happen. Full
She Was Perfect
by
mibrainisdead
mibrainisdead
One of the best stories to come out of this website in quite a while, just as I was starting to loose faith...
Compared to most of the others where the authors seem to have no grasp of the english language, yours flows well and has excellent structure. T
Compared to most of the others where the authors seem to have no grasp of the english language, yours flows well and has excellent structure. T
Harry Potter's Threesome
by
Furby
Furby
Aside from the occasional spelling error this is a top story. I am actually writing my own Harry story at the moment, i hope to post it soon, and its good to see im not the only one who sees the potential in the characters in these books.
Really liked th
Really liked th
Icy Hot
by
Fly4aWhiteGuy
Fly4aWhiteGuy
Call me picky, but how do they watch TV when the power is out?
Not a bad story, but you need to keep an eye on your tence. You keep changing from past to present ("said" to "says"). Also your sentences sometimes become a little messy.
But the story
Not a bad story, but you need to keep an eye on your tence. You keep changing from past to present ("said" to "says"). Also your sentences sometimes become a little messy.
But the story
Amateur Glamour Model
by
Jolly1
Jolly1
How many fucking times is this story gonna get posted!?! We've seen it before, stop posting it