Getting it Straight                          John J. Jones

Author's note:  This is a true story, which could account for it's
popularity (I get more feedback from this than others).  I won't go
into how close any others are to reality, in order to keep the mystery.
;)  Enjoy!

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Well,  I suppose I should introduce myself here. My name is John, I grew
up  in  the  southwestern suburbs of Chicago and I think I have the
best older  brother  in the world. His name is Carl and he's four years
older than  I am. I wouldn't let my friends know it, but I'd always
been a shy kid.  All this happened when I was 18 and in high school. I
had never  been  with a girl before. I mean "with" a girl. Girls liked
me in high  school  because  I  was  a "sweet guy". I was a poet, I had
a good singing  voice  (I  performed  in  school  musicals and choir)
and I was "sensitive". I didn't really mind this attention. As a matter
of fact, I enjoyed it, all the way through my sophomore year.

My brother was always curious why I hadn't had a girlfriend come over. I
said  I had girl-friends, but not really any girlfriends. Toward the
end of  my  sophomore  year, I got a part time job, changed my
hairstyle and started  buying  in-style  clothes. Then I started
getting noticed. Well anyway,  let  me  explain  the  two incidents
that got me confused about girls.

First, the summer of my sophomore to junior year a friend down the block
invited  me  to  a  party.  I  invited  a  girl named Jean that had
been exceptionally friendly to me before school had let out.

This party started out as most, in the den, with the flashing lights and
crazy  music. The guys' parents were gone for the weekend, and his
older sister  didn't  care what he did as long as he kept it down some
and the place didn't get wrecked. She didn't know some of the kids were
sneaking booze in, but it never got noticed or out of hand.

Jean  and I were slow dancing. It was about 10:00, the lights went down,
and  I  noticed  that  there  were just couples around. They were on
the couch,  chairs,  carpet and you name it. I started getting
uncomfortable quickly.  I  really  didn't  know  what  to  do. About
the time I became conscious  of  this, I pulled my head back and looked
at her. She looked at  me,  smiled  and  then looked away. Since we
were obviously the only ones dancing, I asked her if she wanted to sit
down. She said "sure". We found a couple of chairs at a small card
table in the corner of the den. We sat down, listened to the music and
looked around for a while.

Yes.  It was as awkward as it sounds. We were sitting right next to each
other,  and I had my arm around her on the chair. I really don't want
to get  into  the long idle conversation we were trying to have,
because it was  embarrassing enough. At one point, she said she liked
the song that was playing and rested her head on my shoulder. I was
nervous. Of course I  liked  it,  too.  A moment later, she looked up.
Our faces were close together.  I knew if there was to be a cue in here
somewhere, I just got it.

I  turned  my  head  and kissed her. Her lips were soft and her kiss was
kind.  She reached up and put her hand on my face gently as we kissed.
I felt like the bottom dropped out of everything. The music was a
thousand miles  away, and it was as if no one else was in the room. Her
hand slid down around my waist and rested against my side as we
continued kissing. Then I blew it.

I swear I had no "evil" intentions as I put my hand on her leg. It was a
place  to  put  my  hand;  that was it. She had a skirt on that was
only about an inch above her knee, so I didn't even touch skin. I just
put my hand  down.  She  jumped like I had touched everything personal
she had. "No!  I don't want to...." She started, and that was the end
of the night. I'll  be  honest.  I felt like a stupid idiot... and I
hadn't even had any intention  of starting anything! I apologized over
and over. As she kept her distance, I realized I should offer to walk
her home.

Even  today,  I don't blame Jean for what happened next. I got depressed
during the summer. When school started again, my wardrobe and
appearance had  gotten  better. My "talents" for music and poetry had
also improved because of my depression. I was getting more attention.
Some of the more attractive  girls  were  coming to me now. I was
becoming "popular". But now there was a big problem.

Then  came  the second incident. I had girls coming to me that guys were
drooling  over.  Some  I  went out with. I had a job, money and my
older brother  sometimes  let  me  use  his car. My relationships were
usually short.  One  day  in  school,  I  found  out why. I was walking
down the crowded  hall  between classes with my current girlfriend, an
attractive strawberry blonde. We had been seeing each other for a
couple of months. Because of my "clumsy" mistake with Jean, I had never
even tried to kiss her.  We  stopped at her locker so she could get
something out. I backed up as she turned around to close the locker
door. She got a big frown on her face and practically yelled out in the
hall "What? Are you afraid to touch me?"

That  really  did  it.  Kids  in  the  hall  were looking at me. Some in
sympathy,  others  snickering.  I walked away from her and avoided
girls altogether for the first half of my junior year, even though some
hinted that  I should see someone (some obviously hinting it should be
them). I was just afraid I would do something stupid again.

Friends  were  trying to cheer me up. Academically, I was actually doing
ok.  My  talent  for  singing, poetry and story writing improved with
my depression  (although the subjects of my writings were either about
lost love or horror stories).

I  don't  know  if someone told my brother, or if he noticed it himself,
but  he  started  asking  questions. He finally got around to asking
the right  (or "wrong") questions and got it out of me. I think he
could see that  I  was  trying  to  hold  the  tears  back as I started
explaining everything  that had happened. He could probably hear it in
my voice, if nothing else. We had our "brotherly" fights and tiffs, but
he was really concerned  about  what I was going through. He asked me
if I'd talked to Mom  or  Dad  about  it. I asked him if he was joking.
He tried to help, explain  things,  but  my  depression  had  been
going on so long that I wasn't listening any more.

Summer  came again and junior year let out. I wasn't going to parties. I
went  to work at the drugstore, bought junk food, watched TV, worked
out and  took  long bicycle rides alone. My brother, who was now a
sophomore at a local community college, was getting worried about me.
He had moved to an apartment by the college, but came by the house
often. I wasn't up to roughhousing around with him much anymore.
Inside, I think I was even jealous  of  his  way  with the girls. He
would sometimes stop by before going  out  and  often  had  a very
attractive college girl with him. In another way, I suppose I felt
happy for him.

Then  came the night I'll never forget. My brother came by the house one
Tuesday  night  and  said he had a problem; he wanted to know if I
could help.  He  had done more than enough for me, including keeping me
out of trouble with Mom and Dad when I screwed up a couple of times. I
told him as  long  as  it  wasn't  some  kind of trick, sure! Carl said
his whole evening  was  getting  screwed  up in one morning. He and his
girlfriend Cynthia  were  supposed  to  go to a play at a local
candlelight theater with  her parents. Her parents couldn't make it due
to the fact that her aunt had gone to the hospital. At the same time,
one of his girlfriends' best  friends  came into town and his
girlfriend didn't feel right going without  her.  He  wanted  to  know  
if  I would go to the play with her girlfriend.

At  first I laughed. "You have to be kidding", I said. "How old is she?"
My  brother  grinned.  "She's  almost  19, but don't worry about it."
He said. "She won't mind, she wants to see the play and Cynthia. And I
just don't  want  to waste the money on the ticket." I'd always been a
pretty logical  kid so it only took a few seconds to give the ok.
First, it was a  favor  for  my  brother.  Second, I'd never seen a
play in a theater. Third, the girl (well, woman) was two years older
than I was and fourth, it was a favor for my brothers girlfriend. What
the hell.

My  brother came by the house again about 6:30 that evening. I had taken
a  shower  and  thought  I  was  ready to go. Carl thought otherwise.
He helped  me  pick  out some clothes that would go well with the
outing. I never even got that dressed up to go to church.

We  walked  out to the car and I hopped in the back. Carl said he had to
pick  up  Cynthia's  girlfriend  at  a hotel in the loop, because it
was where  she  was staying while she was in town. At the time, I
thought it was a little strange to have to go all the way downtown
Chicago and come back for a play, but hey, she was from out of town.

When  we pulled up in front of the Hyatt, Carl opened the door and stood
up  outside.  The  doorman came from the door and asked my brother if
he needed  help.  "Just  a  minute"  he said and walked into the hotel.
The doorman  grumbled  something about the fact that he couldn't park
there. It  was  only  a few seconds before he came back out. He was
walking out with  a  fabulously  attractive girl with long, wavy black
hair. She was wearing  a  sparkling  blue  ruffled dress that came down
to about three inches  above  her  knees. She was tall and had
beautiful long legs. Her face was so gorgeous that I swore I'd never
seen anyone like her.

She  walked  around  the car and got in the seat behind Cynthia. She sat
up, kissed Cynthia on the cheek and asked her how she was doing.
Cynthia smiled,  said  she was fine and asked her how she was. Cynthia
raised an eyebrow and looked at Carl. I guess I should have known
something was up then, but at the time, I was much too entranced by
this girl.

After  her  funny  look  at  my brother, Cynthia turned around. "This is
Laura",  she  said. Laura turned toward me, smiled and offered her
hand. "Laura, this is John, Carl's brother." There was firmness in the
way she said  Carls'  name,  but  she  was smiling so I figured it was
a private joke.  I  shook  Laura's  hand and Carl pulled away from the
curb. Laura grasped  my  hand firmly for more than a second and it made
me look into her eyes.

Maybe  it's  been  my  emotional  state,  but I've always been receptive
looking  into  people's  eyes. It's an uncanny ability to tell whether
I can  trust  them,  as  well  as the ability to detect their feelings
and general  thoughts.  I  don't mean "reading their minds" or anything
like that.  More  like  good or bad "vibes". This time was different.
My hand felt  strange  in  hers.  Looking  into her eyes was like
looking into a mirror.  They  were  so dark, I couldn't tell what color
they were. With her  hand  in  mine and our eyes fixed on each others,
it was like I was being read and she was doing the reading. It was a
little exciting and a little unnerving all at once.

"Nice to meet you, John", she said and let go of my hand. She turned her
head  forward,  but  her  eyes  fixed  on mine until her head was
turned straight again. As she talked idly about off the wall subjects
with Carl and  Cynthia, I caught myself looking at her again. Now as
far as my own opinion  of  my  poetry, I've never judged it. If people
said they liked it, I was happy. But if I were to write a poem about
this girl, it would have to be the best thing I ever wrote. She was
beautiful.

Her  black hair flowed past her shoulders down to the middle of her back
in  waves,  like  the tidewaters on a dark night. As the downtown
lights reflected on her hair through the back window of the car, it
made it all the  more beautiful. She was smiling and laughing and would
occasionally toss  her  hair back. Her eyes were glowing, sparkling
like stars as she talked. Her lips were pink and perfect. Even the way
her teeth showed as she talked was exquisite. Ok, I was overwhelmed.
Her body was fantastic. I  found myself hoping she wouldn't catch me as
I noticed her breasts in the  low-cut dress, her thin waist, perfect
hips and once again her long legs,  more  visible  now that she was
sitting down. Actually, I believe she  did  catch  me  once  or twice,
but didn't say anything about it. I wished I were a few years older.

On  the  way,  Laura  turned  and  started  asking  me about myself. Our
conversation  led  into  my  school and activities, she tried to make
me recite  one  of my poems, but I was too embarrassed. Even my brother
and Cynthia  tried  to get me to make something up on the fly. Laura
put her hand  on  mine  and almost begged me to try and I was still too
shy. She put  a  pout  on  her lips, folded her arms and said, "Ok,
fine... be that way." Then she smiled.

When  we  pulled  up to the playhouse, Laura pulled a compact out of her
purse  and looked at herself. "Ohhh", she moaned. "Look at my hair!
It's a  mess!". She pulled a small brush from her purse and offered it
to me. "Would  you?"  I sat there frozen. She turned and offered the
brush over her  shoulder. "Please?" she said with a little beg. I
wasn't hesitating because  I didn't want to, but because I was stunned
that she was asking me to. I saw my brother turn out the corner of my
eye and looked at him. He  raised  an  eyebrow  and nodded like he
thought I was crazy to wait. Cynthia was just looking at me in the
rear-view mirror.

I  took  the  brush  in my hand. "I'm not sure I know how to do this." I
muttered  and  put  the  brush  to  her hair. I started brushing in
long strokes  with one hand. Laura reached back with one had and took
my hand with  the  brush.  She  asked  for  my  other  hand. I held it
up by her shoulder and she took it gently. She placed my empty hand on
the back of her  head, told me to press firmly. She put my right hand
with the brush beneath it and pushed downward through her hair. She
pulled my left hand down  along behind it. "Like that.", she said. She
demonstrated a couple more times and I kept it up.

At  that  time, I couldn't explain what it felt like. Now, I think about
the  how  the  brush  moved  smoothly through her hair, the waves
turned through  the brush with amazing ease. As my left hand followed
downward, her  hair  was like silk under my fingers. After a few
strokes, she took my  left  hand  and put it under her hair and the
brush as I stroked, so the  bristles  were against my fingers on the
other side. "That way, you can get all the through.", she said. The
back of my hand brushed against her back above her dress as I brushed.
I found myself pulling outward to avoid the contact. "Not out", she
said. "down."

"Oh,  man."  I muttered. The feelings inside me were strange. I was lost
in  her  hair  as  I  brushed.  "Something wrong?" Laura asked? I
hardly realized  that I'd said something out loud. "Uh, no." I
stuttered. Now I felt like I should explain myself. "It's just that
you're hair, is so...", and  there  I  was...  a  poet,  and couldn't
think of a word. After a few moments,  she  threw  her head back,
shaking her hair. She turned smiled and  took  the  brush.  "Thank  
you,  John!"  she  said.  Her  eyes were penetrating again, even in the
second that she looked at me. I looked at the  front  seat.  Carl  and  
Cynthia were both looking at me. They both smiled and got out of the
car. I was afraid I'd made a fool of myself.

We  went  inside. We watched "Evita" on stage. Carl had ordered wine and
occasionally  slipped  me  a  glass. When I'd finish, he pull it back
in front of him and order another. Eventually, Cynthia didn't want any
more and he started giving me hers. I guess I had about four or five
glasses. Through  the  play, Laura would look at me with those eyes and
smile. At one  time,  she  looked  like  she  was going to cry. She had
turned and pushed  her chair closer to me so she could see the stage.
During one of her  emotional  times,  she  put  her hand over on my
leg. I jumped. She looked  at  me  right  away  to  see what was wrong,
then patted my leg, leaving her hand where it was.

I  looked  at  Carl and Cynthia and realized they couldn't have noticed,
because  they  were  on  the other side of the table. My heart sped up
a little,  but eventually calmed down as nothing else happened. I wrote
it off as her need for a little support for her emotions.

When  we left, I was a little giddy because of the wine. I jumped in the
back  of  the car. I forgot what we were laughing about. Laura hopped
in and  immediately slid all the way over, pinning me against the door.
She was  laughing, too, and I made little of the motion. I was having a
good time.  Carl  said something to Cynthia that left an opening for a
sexual "innuendo".  Being  in  my frame of mind, I opened my big mouth
and took advantage  of it. It was one of those things you say, and as
soon as you realize  it,  you  wish  you  could  take it back. Not
because it wasn't funny,  it was hilarious because they all laughed. It
was because it was something I probably shouldn't have said.

"You're  bad!"  Laura  said  as  she  grabbed  my arm. "Oooo, and you're
strong,  too.  Embarrassed again, I laughed and apologized. "That's
ok", she  said.  "You're funny too". Her hand went from my arm back to
my leg and  a short quick sense of soberness swept over me again as I
caught my breath.  But  it  must  not  have been so obvious this time,
because she didn't react. Cynthia and Carl started talking in the front
seat.

"So," Laura said, "do you have a girlfriend?" I wasn't sure how I should
answer that. I didn't believe she was really coming on to me because
she was  older. It could have been the wine making her get close. But
again, in my frame of mine, I figured honesty was the best policy.
"No." I said kind of calmly. She drew her head back, still leaning
against me. "What? All  of  the  things  I've  heard  about  you,  and  
you  don't  have  a girlfriend?"  "I'm not too good with girls" I
muttered, trying to keep a grin  on  my  face.  I  was beginning to get
the depressed again. It was probably the wine. "I don't believe that",
she said softly. "Why?"

I felt like I was going to choke up. I took a long deep breath to regain
my  composure and to gain time to think about what I was going to say.
I guess  I  took  too long. "You don't have to talk about it", she
said. I took  another  deep  breath  to try once more; too long again.
"It might help"  she almost whispered. "Maybe I can help." I felt
stupid. I didn't know  her.  Maybe  she  was older than me, but she was
still a girl. How could I explain it to her?

I  tried  to  turn  my depressed feelings into an "psychiatric" mood, in
order  to get them under control. I sighed and started "I shouldn't
bore you  with  this. It's my problem" "How do you know, unless you
tell me?" she  said.  Another  big  sigh,  and I let go. Again, I guess
it was the wine,  but  I started spilling my stories about what
happened with girls since  I  started  getting  interested. I kept my
voice down so Carl and Cynthia  wouldn't  hear  me.  Laura listened
intently. I looked at her a couple  of  times.  Her  eyes  were  
concerned  now,  but  I  still felt embarrassed and scared.

"Well,  that's it", I said. "I just screw things up". We were pulling up
in  front  of  Carl's  apartment. Laura reached up and turned my head
to face her. "That's not what I'm hearing", she said. Carl looked up in
the mirror.  "Hey,  it's been awful quiet back there! You guys still
alive?" Laura  sat  up  and  smiled.  "Just having an adult
conversation!" Laura answered. "John? Adult? Since when?" Carl laughed.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I answered.  Carl  turned  around. "Look, Cynthia
and I have to go see how her  aunt  is.  Would you guys mind staying
here for a while? We'll give you a call and tell you how everything's
going".

Before  I could answer, Laura said, "We can wait. John here will protect
me, he's a big boy". I have to be honest. I really didn't think
anything would  happen,  but  the  possibilities  were promising.
Really, I liked Laura.  She  seemed to care and listen. She was....
comfortable. "Cool", I said as I opened the door. Laura practically
pushed me out when the door opened  because  she was leaning on me. We
started laughing and I helped her  out  of  the  car.  Carl  handed  me
his apartment key and we waved goodbye  as  they drove away. Laura was
giggling, trying to get the keys away from me.

We  got  to  the  apartment.  I opened the door and we "fell in". Carls'
apartment was nice. It was carpeted. He had all the best goodies. A
bar, big-screen  TV,  cable, very cool stereo system, designer
furniture, you name  it.  Hey, he was a computer whiz. He made the
money. Laura stepped into  the  middle of the room and twirled around,
smiling, her dress and hair  raising  as  she spun. Another look at
those legs. Man, oh man, oh man.  She  stopped,  staggered  a little
and looked around. "Music?" she said.  I  walked  over  by  the  stereo
and turned on the radio. On came alternative  music.  While  I  was  
standing by the radio, she walked up close behind me and put her chin
on my left shoulder.

Perfume.  I had smelled it before in the car, but now it was strong. Her
breath  was warm on my ear. Her breasts were pressed up against my
back. She  reached over my right shoulder and started pushing the scan
button, going  through  stations.  I  couldn't believe it. I started
shaking, my heart  started pounding. I took a deep breath and closed my
eyes. I felt her  turn her head face toward me, her lips almost
touching my ear. "Are you  okay?"  she whispered. As her hot breath
went into my ear, my brain went  crazy.  "The  wine"  I  thought  to  
myself  quickly.  "I'm making something  out  of nothing. I've got to
get away from her before I do or say something stupid". But I couldn't
move. "Just nervous, I suppose." I said. I swear, I didn't know where
that came from.

She had found a station with quiet music. She took my hand and turned me
around  to  face  her. "Why? Do I make you nervous?" she asked taking
my other  hand. Now I felt like a little kid. I was looking at the
floor at her  feet.  "Look  at  me,  John", she said. I looked up. "Do
I make you nervous?"  she  asked  again. "I don't know", I said,
realizing again it was  the response of a nervous little kid. Laura led
me to the couch and set me down. She had obviously seen the bar. "Wait
here.", she said.

She  walked to the bar, looked around and eventually brought two glasses
of white wine from the small refrigerator. She handed me one. "Now,
tell your  therapist  what  haven't  you told me about the girls you
went out with,  or are there girls you haven't told me about?" She had
a smile on her  face  and  was  a  little  "matter-of-fact" in her tone
of voice. I smiled.  "I swear! That's all there is!". "Then I don't
understand", she said.  "What  is it that you think you're doing
wrong?" Her voice was so up draft now, I felt more comfortable talking
about it. I suppose it was like talking to a psychiatrist.

"I  don't  know", I said honestly. "I guess I'm afraid I'll never get it
right." I took a gulp of wine. "And what is that?" she asked. Ooops.
The question came too fast after the statement. How do I answer that
without getting  "personal"?  I  took  another  swallow of wine. "And
what is it you're  afraid you won't get right?" she asked once more. I
probably had a sheepish grin on my face as I looked away. I set my
glass down kind of non-chalantly.  "C'mon,"  I  said with a snicker.
"You know". "Tell me." She  said.  I  guess  the  wine was giving me a
little strength again. I looked  straight  at  her.  "Making  contact!
Touching! Whether or not I should! Is it wrong? Is it right? Man! I
don't know!" Ooops again. I had blurted  all  that  out  like  I was
frustrated at being grilled, like I wanted to just "get it out in the
open".

Laura  smiled.  "See?  Talk about it! No one will ever know about what's
going on unless you talk about it." She put her glass down on the
table. She sat next to me, her leg brushing up against mine. She leaned
against me,  took  my  hand  and  pulled our hands into her lap. Her
thighs were warm.  She touched my cheek with her other hand, then ran
her fingers up into  my  hair.  "John,  there's  such a thing as the
wrong time and the wrong  place.  There's such a thing as the wrong
person. It happens. You have  to realize that." She had sat so close
now that her breasts almost touching  me.  Her  low-cut blue dress was
sparkling in the one light in the apartment. Her breasts were more than
half-exposed. I looked away.

"Tell me" she whispered softly. "Are you afraid of me, John?". I thought
a  second.  "I don't think so", I said. "Why do you think you might
be?" she asked. I didn't answer. It would have been the same stupid
answer. I thought  I  would  do something wrong. She turned my head to
look at her again.  "You're  afraid  you  won't do the right thing,
aren't you?" she said.  It  was  as  if she read my mind. "I suppose."
I said. Stupid. Of course that was why. Laura leaned closer toward me
and crossed her legs. She  opened  my  hand  that  was  in her lap and
put it flat against her waist.  She  held  it  there for a moment and
let go. I left it where it was.  She placed her chin on my shoulder and
started whispering directly into  my  ear  again.  It  started getting
pretty hot. I felt like I was sweating. I felt like my "person" was
getting involved as well.

She put one hand between some buttons on my shirt, onto my chest. I knew
she  had  to  feel my heart beating. I did, even against her hand.
"What are  you  thinking?" she asked. Honestly? I thought I was having
a heart attack. I couldn't say that. "It's hot in here" I said.
(Duuuuhhhh.) She smiled.  "And  why  do  you  think that is?" Well, as
long as I was on a roll....  "Because you're making it hot in here", I
said. "Good!" she said softly.  "So you would say that I want you to
touch me. I expect you to, right?" "I would guess so." I said. "There
are times", she started "when a  girl  wants  to be touched. Sometimes
she wants to be touched just to know you care. This could be that kind
of touch." I had to admit. It was nice.

Again  she  got  even  closer to my ear. He lips brushed lightly against
them. "Can you dance?" she asked. My Dad had shown me how to slow
dance, and  I  explained  that it was really all I knew. "Great!" she
said. She popped  up off of the couch, handed me my glass and picked up
her glass. I  took a gulp from the glass and put it down. She put hers
down next to mine  and pulled me into the middle of the room. She put
one hand behind my  neck  and  the other behind my back. At first I
hesitated, trying to decide  where  to  put my arms, when I finally
clasped my fingers behind her lower back.

She  moved  close.  The perfume on her neck was strong again. Her thick,
silky  black  hair  was  over my arms and it felt soft and sensuous.
She kicked off her high heels, which made us almost the same height.
She was still  taller,  probably  by  about an inch. Her perfume, her
hair in my face,  her  fingers  and  breath  on my neck. It was
heavenly. We swayed slowly  to the music. She moved even closer. Her
breasts were against my chest.  One  of  her legs pressed into my
crotch. I sighed, and tried to control  the nervousness that crept up
slowly once more. My ears were on fire  and  I  felt  like I was
burning up. "Relax", she whispered. "Just enjoy the dance." I tried.

I noticed I was getting hard, and tried to pull my hips away to keep her
from  feeling  it. She moved her hand from the middle of my back down
to my  rear and pulled me forward against her. At the same time, she
pulled her head back, shaking her hair out of her face as much as she
could and stared  straight  into  my  eyes.  "John",  she  said. "Do
you think I'm attractive?"  I  swallowed  a  lump in my throat. "You're
more beautiful than  any  girl  I've  ever  known". I said. "If that's
true," she said. "Then  think  about  this.  I think you're an
extremely attractive young man.  You're  emotional,  honest  and..."
she looked down the front of me. "strong",  she  finished.  "I trust
you. You're not going to do anything wrong.  Relax.  Let me help." In
those few words and the serious look in her  eyes,  I  felt  all  my
fears drain. She pulled herself close to me again and we continued
dancing.

In  a  few moments, she pulled my hands apart behind her back and placed
one of them on one of her cheeks; the ones in the back. I felt her
cheek below  the  silky  dress,  warm  and soft beneath my hand.
"Mmmmmm," she whispered.  I  felt  the  vibration  in  her chest
against mine. My head started  swirling.  It  was  like  dancing in the
clouds. I found myself nuzzling into her neck, drowning in the smell of
her perfume. I felt her cheek  rise  against  mine  as she smiled.
After a few more moments, she pulled  back  away  from  me. She took
both of my hands in hers and held them between us.

"Do  you  want  to  touch  me?"  she  asked. My inhibitions were all but
completely  gone. "Yes" I said. "I want you to touch me." She said.
"And I  want  to  touch  you."  She looked around the apartment.
"Where's the bedroom?"  she  asked.  I  looked  over in the direction
of the bedroom. "Over  there",  I  said.  She  started  walking  
backwards, looking back occasionally,  holding  both  of my hands as we
walked. My heart started racing again. My mind struggled to believe
what was happening. She found the bedroom and backed into it. She
turned us both around and kicked the door closed. She stood up close to
me, looking deep into my eyes.

"Are  you  nervous?"  she asked. It was a mute question. My forehead was
now  sweating.  My palms were sweating, I was taking deep breaths, and
I was  swallowing  constantly.  She  didn't wait for an answer. "You
don't have to be. Everything is going to be fine. There's nothing to be
afraid of."  My tie was already loose. She started unbuttoning my shirt
slowly, pulling  it  from  my pants as she got lower. She never removed
her gaze from  my  eyes.  I tried to act calm, but I just knew my eyes
showed the excited  expectations  of  the  moment.  At this precise
instant, it was scary  to  think  that  my powers of observation into
people's eyes were being  used  against me. She gently pulled my shirt
open and down off of my  shoulders, so it was hanging out of my pants
in the back. She looked down at my chest and ran her fingernails gently
across it. I shuddered.

She looked back up into my eyes. In this light, her eyes were as dark as
her  hair.  I almost couldn't see her pupils. She spun around, almost
so quickly  that  she  surprised me. She reached behind and pulled her
hair off of her back, revealing the zipper to her dress. "Please?" she
asked. I  wiped  my sweaty hands off on my pants and reached for the
top of her zipper.  There was a small clasp at the top, and my hands
were quivering so  much  that I struggled with it. She pulled her hair
to the front and reached  back  and  unhooked  the clasp. I sighed, and
pulled the zipper about  halfway  down  her  back.  She  waited  a
moment, turned her head looking  back  at me, then looked forward again
and waited. I pulled the zipper the rest of the way down.

The  top  of her dress peeled away from her back as it unzipped. She was
shaped  like  a  goddess.  Her  skin was smooth and soft. Now the
zipper unzipped  all  the  way  down, halfway past her panties. She was
wearing light  blue  silk  panties,  and there was a garter belt above
them. Her head turned first, I guess to see the look on my face. I
realized my jaw was hanging slightly open. I shut my mouth and
swallowed.

She  was  holding  the front of her dress up with one hand as she turned
around. She leaned forward, put her other hand behind my head and
kissed me  on the lips, long, gentle and passionate. A strange effect.
My heart and breathing slowed down. My eyes closed. It was as if I'd
been drugged or  something.  She  pulled  away  slowly. Just as I
opened my eyes, she lowered  the  front  of her dress. The dress
apparently had some kind of support,  because  she wasn't wearing a
bra. Her breasts stood out firm, her  nipples  were  beautiful  and  
tan  colored against the rest of her smooth  white  skin.  I  looked  
down  as she let her dress slide to the floor.

As  the  sparkling  dress lay in contrast on the black carpet, I started
looking  back  up.  She  was  wearing silk stockings held up by the
blue garters  above  her waist. I was mixed up now, calm but nervous;
excited but  apprehensive.  "I'm  sorry,  I  don't..."  I  started.  
"Shhhh.", She interrupted.  She  took  my hands, opened them up and
placed them on her breasts,  pressing  them  down.  "Touch me." She
said. I gently massaged them in my hands, kneading them, enjoying their
softness. "Mmmm Hmmmm...", she  whispered softly. "Kiss them John", she
said after a few moments. I dropped  to  one  knee  and  began  kissing
her soft breasts all over; I instinctively  brushed  my  lips  over  
her  nipples  as  they hardened. "Ahhhhhh",  she  sighed, as I noticed
she got goosebumps on her stomach. "See, John? You're not doing
anything wrong".

She  took one of my hands from her breast and pushed it down gently over
her  silk panties. "Feel me through my panties, John." She said. I
moved my  fingers over her panties. They were damp and warm. I may have
been a virgin,  but  I knew what was going on. I'd heard about it all.
The fear of  doing something wrong was disappearing as she shuddered.
It was like she  was  the  one out of control now. I rubbed gently over
her panties, feeling  her  wet  lips inside them. I continued kissing
her breasts and nipples.  I  took  a nipple into my mouth. She gasped.
"Stop!" she said, panting  and  pushed  me  away. For a split second, I
thought I had done something  wrong. She leaned backward, threw her
long hair back over her shoulders, rubbed her breasts firmly with her
hands, let them slide down to her crotch and back up. Then she stood up
straight again.

She  took  a  big step forward and pushed me hard back onto the bed. She
stared  into  my eyes and straddled my legs, kneeling on the edge of
the bed.  "Oh  no,  John."  She said. "You're not doing anything
wrong." The look  was  different this time. Even I knew it was a look
of excitement, pure  passion.  She  was  staring  at  me as she
unbuttoned my pants and unzipped  them. She slid off of my legs and
bent down to gently kiss one of my nipples. She licked it in circles as
I felt it get hard. It wasn't the  only  thing hard. I gasped. Her hair
flowing down onto my chest and stomach,  her  warm  breath  against  my
 chest and her hot tongue on my nipple  was  driving  me  crazy. She
switched nipples, licking across my chest  and slipped one hand down
into my shorts. He cool fingers wrapped around my erection. I groaned
as she took hold of it firmly. She scooted back up and kissed me,
putting her tongue deep into my mouth.

I was breathing like I had run a marathon, and so was she. She lifted up
from  my face. She looked down at me through her long hair. "I need
you, John",  she  said with a voice I hadn't heard her use before. She
let go of my dick and pulled my shoes, socks and pants off. Then she
told me to move  up onto the bed "right". I moved up and put my head on
the pillow, just  lying there in my underwear. She stood up on the bed
and straddled my  waist.  Looking  up  from  the pillow, I couldn't
believe what I was seeing.  She  was  beautiful.  Her  hair was flowing
around her breasts, trying  to  hide  her nipples that still managed to
protrude through the strands of hair. She bit her lower lip, staring
down at me, smiling.

She started playing with her breasts, squeezing her nipples. My dick was
so  hard;  the elastic in my underwear was off of my stomach. She
licked her fingers, saliva coming from her fingertips as she drew them
from her mouth.  She  reached down into her silk panties and started
playing with herself,  all  the  time staring at me through half-closed
eyes. Between the  wine,  the music and this beautiful girl... woman
standing over me, I was  losing  track  of where I was. My eyes started
to close. She saw me and suddenly stopped. I opened my eyes as she
plopped her butt down onto my  hard  dick.  I  still  had my underwear
on, but I could feel her hot pussy  against  my  cock.  She lay down,
pressing her breasts against my chest  and  held my arms to the bed.
She started moving her hips against my  crotch,  rubbing  her  panties  
firmly against my hard dick under my underwear. It was unbelievable. "I
want to teach you something" she said "but  first,  I want you to feel
something". Oh, I was feeling something already.

She  kissed  my  mouth,  then  licked my neck gently. She moved down and
gently  licked each nipple. She kept going, licking down my stomach,
her wet  hot  tongue  leaving  a  cooling  trail of saliva down my
chest and stomach.  She  teased  my  belly button with her tongue for a
moment and kept  moving  down.  I  had  been watching. She was looking
up once in a while  to see if I was. "Lift your legs, John" she hissed
as she started pulling  my underwear off. I lifted my legs; she pulled
my underwear off and flung them on the floor.

She  kneeled  between  my  legs  and  took my hard dick in her hand. She
licked  the fingers of her other hand and rubbed her wet saliva over
its head. I let my head fall partly back on the pillow as she rubbed
her wet fingers  gently  around  and around. She lowered her head and
licked the underside of it. I gasped, closed my eyes, and let my head
fall the rest of  the way back onto the pillow. She gently licked all
over my dick, my balls  and  crotch.  I  pressed  my  head back into
the pillow, moaning, trying to lie still. As she continued, I rolled my
head around. My hands gripped  the  blanket on the bed. I couldn't
believe the sensations. She carefully  took  it  into  her  mouth  and
sucked it from top to bottom, bottom  to top. I grabbed another deep
breath, opened my eyes and looked down  at her. She was still looking
up at me, smiling. She took the head into  her mouth and licked around
it with her tongue. Then let it go. It lurched a few times as I sighed
and released my grip on the blanket.

She stood back up on the bed, unhooked her garter belt and slowly pushed
her  fingers  down  into  her  panties.  She hesitated, then pushed
them downward.  Her  pussy  was  shaved.  I  could see it all. She
pushed her panties  all  the way down and took off her garter belt. Her
nylons were still  on.  She stepped forward and sat down on my chest.
"Watch, John", she  whispered,  "I'll show you how to make a girl
happy". She threw her hair  back  over  her  shoulders  and  licked her
fingers once more. She reached  down  and ran her fingers slowly around
the outside edge of her pussy.  She  ran them down the side, to her
anus, then back up the other side  to  the  top. She licked her fingers
again, and pushed them slowly down  between  the lips, pausing at the
top. I could see her clitoris as her  body  twitched  when she touched
it. She lifted her head to look at me,  as  she  pushed two fingers
into her pussy and massaged them in and out  at the top. This time,
with the juices from her pussy, she slid her fingers  around  the  lips
 and  from  the  bottom  to  the top. She was breathing  heavier  now.
"John, can you make love to me, here?" she said between breaths. At
this point, I would have done anything for her.

She  moved her knees over my shoulders and moved her pussy to my lips. I
remembered  every  movement;  I  licked  the outside of her pussy
first. "Ooooo,  slower,  John,  take your time", she moaned. I slowed
down. Her pussy  was  tart, hot and wet. I licked slowly to her anus. I
hesitated, but  she  was clean, and smelled sexy, even there. I licked
her hole and started back upward. She jerked and gasped as I crossed
from her hole to the  bottom  of  her  pussy.  I licked slowly up the
other side, and she shook.  I  started at the top this time, and licked
down the side of her pussy lips. She moaned loudly and put her fingers
in my hair.

As  I  continued  to lick down and back up her pussy, she pulled my head
forward.  She  cried  as  I  reached her clitoris and circled it with
my tongue  over  and  over.  I  had  to  look up, because I thought she
was hurting,  but  she  was still holding my face up into her and
biting her lip.  She  was  tossing  her  long  hair back and forth now,
panting and shaking. I experimented, taking her clitoris between my
lips and sucking on  it.  She  stopped  suddenly,  gasping  with  each  
sucking motion. I returned  to  licking  her  lips  up  and  down;
sometimes my tongue was slipping  between  them.  I  kept  on.  I was
getting excited as she was thrusting against my face, panting, moaning.


"Stop!"  again,  she  screamed  and  jumped  off  of my face. "Oooo, you
wonderful  young animal!" she screamed. "I want you!" She turned down
by my  dick and sucked it wildly. "Whoa, man!" I yelled. I was still
mostly hard,  but was getting harder fast. Her tongue was doing crazy
things to my  dick. I instantly grabbed the blanket and hung on. After
a couple of minutes, she stopped, looked at it, pumping it with her
hand. She looked at  me  and smiled. "Now I have you right where I want
you", she said as if  she  was  possessed. She stretched one leg over
my waist and lowered her  hot pussy onto my dick. "OH!" I grunted as
she plunged downward. My dick  was  surrounded  by  her  hot  wet
tunnel. Again, I grabbed a deep breath.  At  first  she  moved  slowly
up and down, smiling at me as her pussy  seemed  to  grip my dick. I
must have set a record for holding my breath  as  she  teased me,
sliding up, hesitating and then pushing back down.

She was grabbing a breath herself, every time she lifted herself back up
and  exhaling  as she pushed herself back down. Finally after moments
of what  seemed  to  be  a  mixture of pleasure and frustration, she
pushed herself  down,  smiled down at me and leaned back with her hands
down by my knees. I could feel her long hair against my thighs as she
started to move  up  and down again. Now, she would move side to side
sometimes. My dick  was  getting hot wet sensations from every
direction in her pussy. "Ohhhhh!  Holy  crap!"  I moaned. I heard her
gasp and I thought I heard her  laughing between gasps. "Ahhhh, yes!"
she screamed as her thrashing got  wilder.  She  shook  wildly as I
heard her take a large breath. She shook  for  moments  and  then  sat
up like a shot. "Johnny, Johnny" she hissed  as  she  moved almost
carefully up and down on my still hard and throbbing  dick.  "How could
you ever think you would do anything wrong? And  you're still hard! For
a boy your age, that's surprising! But we'll take care of that right
now!".

She  fell  forward against my chest and started kissing me again. I felt
her  legs  close  between  my  legs and my dick was pinched into her
hot pussy.  "Mmmmppph!"  I moaned against her lips, but she didn't let
up. I felt  her  hips start moving again, with my dick trapped. Slow,
short up and  down  motions,  side  to  side again. Now it was very
tight and hot around  my  dick. My brain went out to lunch. All I heard
was the music. Her  tongue was dancing inside my mouth. I felt my dick
start pumping. I moaned  against  her  mouth,  the  only air I was
getting was coming out through  my  nose. I sounded like a boxer with a
tooth guard, panting. I wanted  to  clench  my  teeth,  but her tongue
was in there, and she was drawing  my  tongue into her mouth. I knew I
was going to climax. It was starting  so hard it was bringing tears to
my eyes. I opened my eyes and looked  at her. Her eyes were closed. I
moaned hard against her mouth as I came. I felt her lips curve into a
smile.

My  hips  tried  to  move as I came, but she held me down, pumping on my
dick.  She  pulled  up, opened her eyes and looked into mine as my
mouth hung  open,  gasping  for  air, panting and climaxing. She bent
her head down  and  kissed  my  neck, still working on my dick with her
pussy. It felt  like she started biting me. Finally, I couldn't move
any more. She moved  a couple more times on my shriveling dick and sat
up. She smiled. "Nice?" she smiled. I was still too busy panting to
answer. She lay down next to me and put one leg over mine. She kissed
me on the neck and ear. "See, Johnny?" she whispered. "You did nothing
wrong. Everything you did was  right".  I  was  tired,  worn  and  
exhausted. She reached over and snapped  off  the  table  lamp. "What
about Carl?" I said. "Shhhhh", she whispered.  "Just  rest". It was
probably all the wine, but as much as I wanted more, I fell asleep.

"Hey!  Someone's'  been  sleeping  in  my  bed! And he's still there!" I
jerked  up  in  the  bed and it was daylight. "Oh, man!" I yelled as
the light  burned  into  my  head.  "My heads killing me! Close the
blinds!" "Well,  it's no wonder", Carl said. You had wine at the play
and I don't know  how  many here". "One" I mumbled and pulled a pillow
over my head. Suddenly  I  shot  up.  I was covered up, and was the
only one in bed. I looked around. "Laura's gone", Carl said. "She left
early this morning." He moved closer to take a look at me. "Hmmmmm,
vampires out last night?" I looked in the dresser mirror. Laura had
left a good sized hickey on my neck.

"This  is for you.", Carl said with a smile. He tossed it at me and left
the  room. It was an envelope. I opened it up. I found a poem that I
had written inside. It was attached to a letter from Laura.

Dear Johnny:

Please  don't be disappointed. I'm a professional girl, but I'm also a
good  friend  of  Carls'.  We  go back farther than you'll probably
ever know, unless he decides to tell you. Carl told me about the
problems you had  with girls and I asked him if I could help. It wasn't
his fault. It was  mine. He showed me some of the poems you had written
and I actually cried.  There  is  no  reason  anyone should feel this
way about love or life.  The  one  I've enclosed is the one that I want
you to read again. Read it now, then finish this letter.

Love - Definitions Divided

The emotional...

Love is joy, an experience, shared by two

Love is unity, and life renewed

Love is desire and mutual affection

Love is a strong and timeless connection

The physical...

But when Love becomes corporeal

It can be cruel and cold as steel

When a gentle touch leads to fear

Or a touch becomes necessary to seem dear

Then what?

Then what is Love, emotion or touch

Can it be both? Is that too much?

Perhaps in life I'll never know

Knowing not where it's safe to go.

Johnny,  I  can  tell love is important to you. You've capitalized it in
every  instance  in  your poem. You've had some bad experiences in
love. Both physical and emotional can happen, and at the same time. You
have a heart of gold and genuine feelings.

Someone will see that some day. It'll be worth the wait. You'll know and
she'll know when the time is right. Be patient.

Thank you for last night. I'll remember it the rest of my life.

Love, Laura

PS.  And  never,  never,  never worry about knowing what to do to please
your girl. You have no problem there. Trust me!

Laura

Well,  she  was  right.  Carl and I had a long talk that morning. I knew
where  to  find Laura, but I never looked for her. I knew why she
wanted to  help me that night and I had a renewed faith in the
possibilities of my search for affection; physical and emotional.

That's it!

======================================================

Opinions welcome!  mrjjones@mail2chicago.com

----------------- This story may NOT be posted to any other web site or
printed in any hardcopy publication without the author's permission.

Copyright (c) 2005 John J. Jones