Tuesday, 1:00 am

 

“How the fuck did this happen, Janet? Has she lost her mind? She starts school in two weeks. How the hell is she going to go to college with a damn baby?”

 

“She has us.”

 

“Us? Us? I’ve been a dad. I had no intension of raising another one.”

 

“You don’t mean that, Paul. You’re just upset.”

 

“The fuck I don’t! How could she do this to us? How the hell could she do this to me?”

 

“Please lower your voice, her room is just next door. Please…”

 

I buried my face in the pillow. It did a really good job in muffling my sobs. Tonight didn’t go well at all. My mother burst into tears and my dad just sat there in shock. He didn’t say anything the entire time; he just looked at me as if I had just confessed that I committed murder. In the end, mom gained control and went through the standard questions.

 

“Who is the father?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“What?” Dad was standing up now. Looking like he wanted to kill me.

 

“Honey! Don’t. Sit down. Let me handle this.” But he didn’t sit. He stood and his eyes…Oh lord, his eyes…

 

“What do you mean you don’t know, Brianna? Were you raped?”

 

“No… no. It wasn’t anything like that… I was driving and this guy pulled up next to me and he was cute…”

 

“Are you telling me you had sex with a stranger? Unprotected sex? My god, have you lost your mind?”

 

“No. I mean yes, I mean… god. The condom broke. It broke… I didn’t even realize it broke until I came home.”

 

“How did you figure it out?”

 

“His sperm was on my thighs.”

 

Silence.

 

“Have you been tested?”

 

“Yes. I’m clean.”

 

“Oh, thank god. Thank you, God.” She sat down on the couch, burying her face in her hands, praying to Jesus.

 

“Do you know the boy’s name?”

 

“Just his first. We didn’t exchange more information other than that.”

 

“How could you be so careless?”

 

 I sighed. “I know, mom. I know. But yelling at me for being stupid isn’t going to help. It’s done. The question is what happens next and will you help me?”

 

“Oh, baby, of course we will, won’t we Paul?”

 

“Oh, I don’t know. I still feel like yelling at her about how stupid she is. Brianna, you are stupid!”

 

“Paul! Shut up. Our daughter needs our support, not your criticism!”

 

Dad didn’t bother answering. He left the room. I felt my heart break at that moment.

 

“Paul! Paul you come back here! Your daughter needs you…Paul?”

 

I began to cry. “Oh honey, don’t worry. It’ll be okay, he just needs some time. It’ll be okay. We’re here for you. We’ll always be here for you.”

 

 

 

“I don’t give a fuck if she does hear me. She should have thought about that before she decided to play street hoe.”

 

“Damn it, Paul, shut the hell up before I kick your ass!”

 

It got quieter, but I could still hear them talking. The words weren’t as clear but the anger was. I wiped my face and inhaled deeply. I was tired of crying. For the first time I considered having an abortion, but I quickly dismissed it. I never believed in abortion. I believed in pro-choice and my choice was to keep my baby. I was just scared. And daddy. I had never seen daddy look at me like that before, as if he didn’t know me, as if he ... hated me.

 

“Oh God. Please give me the strength to survive this. Please…”
 

 

*****

 

 

Months Three and Four

 

I was starting to show, which drew some attention in some of my classes. I started school about two months ago. It was decided I should begin my freshman semester. By the time I had the baby it would be over and the classes were already paid for. After I had the baby, I would skip a semester while we all figured out how to work the baby into our lives. Once settled, I would continue where I left off.

 

Daddy still hasn’t talked to me. He won’t even look at me. It’s as if I’m a complete disappointment to him and I don’t know why. Well, of course I knew why… I got pregnant. I just didn’t know what about that has affected him the most. Did he feel I’m ruining my life? Did he just did not want the responsibility of a baby like he said? (I didn’t believe that was it. I think that was just anger talking.) Was it the knowledge that he wasn’t my first? Did he feel like I betrayed him by taking a lover? What? What was it?

 

I continued to ask myself those same questions over and over on the drive home, but I couldn’t find the answers. I didn’t know. Only one person did — my father. I came home and heated up the leftover chicken in the fridge. Then I went to my room and went over the day’s notes, organizing them. After a while my head started to drive me crazy—a tension headache. I was so stressed. Sometime after eight my mom stuck her head in to see how I was doing.

 

“I’m fine. Tired, but fine.”

 

“Did you eat?”

 

“Are you kidding me? That’s all I’ve been doing.”

 

“Okay. Well if you need anything….”

 

“I know. Thanks mom.” She smiled again and then left. Rubbing my temples I got up and went to the bathroom medicine cabinet and pulled out some aspirin. Taking two pills, I decided to take a nap. I took off my clothes. Reaching into the nightstand, I looked for a T-shirt to wear when my profile, captured by the mirror, caught my eye.  I stopped and stared. My body had changed so much. I turned sideways and witnessed the gentle protective curve of my womb, cradling something beautiful inside. Resting my hands on my stomach, I smiled down on my little one — my baby. Deciding to forgo the shirt, I sank beneath the covers. I was asleep the second after I closed my eyes.

 

Passion. Heat. Movement. Moans. Memories. I smelled him everywhere, surrounding me, touching me, loving me, and bringing me over… bringing me over…

 

I woke up in heat. My body was on fire. I missed him. I missed my daddy. A flash of lightning bathed the room. Distant thunder soon followed with little rapid tapings on the widows and the roof of the house. There was a storm outside. And as a tremor flowed through the house upon the next rumble, my body responded in kind. My pussy was burning up. I reached down and jammed my hand into my achy hole. I moaned. It felt so good, but it wasn’t enough. I needed more. I needed more…

 

The wicked idea that formed in my head was completely irrational, but I wasn’t thinking with my head. I had a habit of not doing that — not thinking with my head when I’m horny, example — pregnancy. I leaned over and pulled out the box at the bottom of my bed. Opening it, I pulled out the heavy red satin bag. The slight odor of plastic reached my nose. I opened it and pulled out my 7-inch, plastic, realistic designed cock. Getting up, I reached over and grabbed my robe from the nearby chair and put it on. Keeping a hold of my cock, I left my bedroom. There were a series of creaks along my trip, but they didn’t stop me.

 

When I slipped inside their room it was obvious they were still asleep. The glowing red clock near the bed flashed 3:13 a.m. There was an armchair next to the far wall on my father’s side of the bed, facing the bed. I walked over to it and sat. The heavy dildo sagged in my lap. I watched them sleep. They looked so relaxed and peaceful, nothing like the last few months. The tension in the house had become almost unbearable. To be honest, I’m surprised they aren’t sleeping in separate rooms. Well, at least I’m not ruining their marriage. Just putting strain on it. But I’m a teenager — comes with the job description. 

 

I stood and bent low while gripping the arms of the chair. I moved it across the carpeted floor. Its wheels rolled easily. I got close, but not too close, and sat back down, observing the situation. Dad was a hard sleeper, especially when he was tired. Mom, on the other hand, slept like the dead. One time at work when she did the evening shift, she took a nap in the lounge. When the staff couldn’t wake her up they called the doctor in. There was some speculation that she might have slipped into a coma. Just when they were preparing her for tests she woke up and scared the shit out of everybody. Mom was a very sound sleeper. Again I found myself in a situation of convenience.

 

Dad was on his back. The room was warm so the covers were only half on him, bunching up around his waist. He wore an undershirt. That’s all I could see. The beginning of a beard was coming in. I loved it when he had shadow. It always seemed to make him look extra sexy. It made me want to bite him, each and every time I saw it. I wish I could drink, because I wouldn’t mind a glass of wine right about now.

 

I leaned forward and pulled the covers further down his waist. They moved easily. His semi-hard cock came into view. No shorts. Yummy. Men got hard-ons in their sleep, like what — every 90 minutes or so, right? I had no intention of staying that long and since I didn’t know if he was entering an erection stage or leaving one, I figured I could help speed things up a bit.

 

Sliding out the chair, I sank to my knees, not as gracefully as I would like with this extra weight but I managed. I took him in my hand, trying to apply as little pressure as possible. My body was practically humming. Leaning forward, I slowly took him into my mouth. It wasn’t as smooth as I would have liked. He was dry and had a piece of lint on his cock, but the more I circled his dick with my tongue the smoother the glide became. I didn’t bother to suck. It wasn’t the pleasure I was after, at least not his. It was the visual. I just wanted him hard and glistening. I inhaled his scent. Hmmmmmm. I stroked his hardness, tenderly, not to awaken, but enough to arouse. I rested his dick against my face and felt it grow on my cheek and warm to my touch. I turned my head and felt his shaft press against the side of my nose, long and tall, and against my eye as I gave it sort of a hug with my face. My mouth opened involuntarily, my lips ran back and forth as my tongue occasionally tasted.

 

Just the thought, just the closeness was more intoxicating than anything. I rocked back and forth on my knees, feeling the wet glide of my thighs rubbing with my pussy. I swung my hips side-to-side, rubbing my pussy against itself, thrilling at the tiny little friction it caused in my body.  Dipping lower for one last taste, I pulled his cock into my mouth again, catching the salty goodness before releasing it to fall back onto his stomach — hard and shiny. Yes. Yes. Just like that. I rose and moved back toward the chair. The rain continued to pound insistently against the house.

 

I unfastened my robe and let it slide to the ground. I sat down and spread my legs with the dildo resting between them. I didn’t need it just yet. I reached up and covered my swollen breasts. I stroked myself, feeling the full curves. They were harder than usual, firmer. My nipples were extra sensitive. So sensitive. I gently played with them. I began to whisper in the quiet room, looking at the hard cock deliciously resting on a slightly rounded stomach.

 

“Oh Daddy,” I began, my voice barely above a breath. “If only you knew. If only you would touch me like you used to, you would see.” A slight moan escaped, as I couldn’t deny the building sensation in my pussy.

 

I began to lubricate. I loved my breasts. He taught me to love them, to glory in their power, but he had taken away that glory, that pride, that joy I found in them. I sighed as sadness diluted the sensual awareness rolling through my body. ‘No,’ I thought, ‘don’t think about that. Think about him, and that hard flesh between his legs.’ So I did. I thought about how I would love to lick it again and taste it with his permission. I thought about how I would bath it in my pussy juice, my daddy’s dick. My daddy made me, created me. There were times I truly believed I was designed for his pleasure and to receive his pleasure.

 

As I touched myself, my bulging stomach, my thickening waist, I looked up into his handsome face and remembered. I remembered the feeling of his touch, the chaos it invoked inside of me. I remembered the naughtiness of it all and the shared secrets. I remembered displaying my body to him, just like this, and watching him harden in response. I remembered his voice turning into a deep growl when he was aroused, when he wanted to fuck me. That sexy, deep voice that made me shiver each time. I remembered…

 

My heart rate began to increase, thus affecting my breathing. I reached down and felt the juice between my lips. I spread my pussy open wide, dripping on the fabric of the chair.

 

“See me, Daddy? I’m wet for you. Here, on this chair, in your room. With you and mommy, all together. I so wish you would wake up and touch me, taste me, fuck me, here and now, right next to her, and make me cum, Daddy. I wanna ride your dick, your hard cock. I want your cum flowing from my body, spilling from me, a white, messy, sticky, gooey, juicy mess. Ohhhhhhhhh. The thought is so sexy…”

 

I climbed up onto the chair. The cushion provided unstable support, but I balanced. I was ready. I was finally ready. I positioned the dildo beneath me, at the opening of my lips and I felt my liquid slide down its form. I rocked against the head. I reached for my breasts again and flicked the nipples back and forth, moaning with each pass. His dick was still hard, still wet. It even began to flex in front of me, jumping slightly, growing harder, pooling liquid.

 

“Oh Daddy, I want you so bad. I want you inside me, fucking me, loving me, slamming against my body… ohhhhhh…” I pushed down on the dildo, but it slid away. I reached down and grabbed it, still looking at my cock, my daddy’s beautiful cock that wanted to be fucked so hard, with my pussy, with my ass. “Oh Daddy will you ever fuck me? Fuck me with the baby? Will you?”  I put the dildo at my hole and pushed down, using my body weight to drive me down.

 

I cried out in surprise. It hurt. I was tight, so tight. It had been so long. I moved the cock around my clit, hard, spreading the lust, easing my clenched pussy muscles, relaxing them so they would find a way, then I pushed again and slowly…slowly…and slowly the head passed the first barrier, entering my pussy, knocking against my g-spot. I groaned again and stopped. It was too much. I was too hot. It was hot, hot in that room. The thunder boomed sharply, causing me to jerk in fear. The dildo slid deeper and my pussy involuntarily squeezed hard sending a crash thorough my system. I couldn’t contain it, the cry, the shout that erupted past my lips and I reached up in an attempt to stop it. Both hands clasped on my mouth. My eyes widened in surprise as I looked up at my daddy’s face. His eyes were still closed. Relaxing, I continued to rock, sliding the invading object higher into my body.

 

In the calming music of the rain, lightning flashed now and then, but not much. The rain seemed to fall harder though, with each passing minute. I rocked the dildo, fucking it slowly, driving it deeper and deeper in my deprived cunt. Loving the ripples that tore through me. Humping it, fucking it. I loved it. I looked at his beautiful handsome face. I could hear a slight slapping, no sucking, sound as my pussy opened up more, forming a tiny gap so I could take in more, fuck it some more, fuck it, fuck it, I love saying that, fuck it…

 

“I want to ride that face again, Daddy. Will you ever again fuck me with your tongue? Rape me with your fingers? I miss that. I miss you molesting my body and teaching me what it can do. I missed the dirtiness of it. The badness. The beauty in the wrongness. I loved it. I loved you loving me, Daddy. Why don’t you love me anymore?”

 

And still I rocked and when it was all the way in, I slowly began to rise, holding it down while I lifted my pussy from it, only to slide back down again, fucking myself as I looked upon his nipples and imagined biting them. I fucked my dildo and I loved it. Oh god, I was so hot. So hot in this room. My hair was sticking to my head, clinging as desperately to my skin as I was clinging to my fantasy of my father inside my body.

 

Then I stopped. I stopped because it suddenly all became too much and my body began to tighten. I paused and waited as the small little climax traveled through me, a small one, but a powerful one, taking my breath. I couldn’t breathe for a moment as I tried to regain control. Concentrating, I closed my once-gaping mouth and breathed harshly through my nose and closed my eyes. The sound intermingled with that of the rain. After a moment, I began to move again. I reached down and found a very, very sensitive clit. It was so hard and swollen, poking out from its hood like a third nipple; I left it alone. I began leisurely riding my cock again, imagining it was the cock in front of me, imagining I was on the bed with him riding him and fucking him, raping him, raping him in his sleep, making him cum all over me and having our fluids slide down his body and stain the bed. I wanted my daddy’s cum. I wanted it so bad. I could just see its white thickness, coating my puss, rubbing in my skin. Cum juice everywhere pouring from my body.

 

“Oh god,” I moaned again. Closing my eyes, tilting my head back, thrusting my breasts out, I gripped the chair arms for support as I began fucking myself with my fake cock, harder and faster, riding it in my parents’ room, a few feet from my daddy and his pulsing, throbbing exposed cock, begging me to suck it, wanting me to fuck it, but I couldn’t. Instead, I was the one being fucked. Not him. It was my pussy filled to the max deriving pleasure as I impaled myself on the solid rubber over and over and over while chanting ‘Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, fuck me so good Daddy.’ I was the one fucking, cumming, spilling juice everywhere, filling the room with my musky, sex-filled scent. It was me, all me, nutting on demand. Me.

 

The lightning flashed bright and hard, bathing my body in its glow as I nutted again and again and again, over and over, one after the other, or maybe it was just one long nut, lasting forever and ever, building then dying, building and dying. I was so wet. My whole body had never been so wet as I fucked and humped and nutted, never letting up. I never stopped calling for my daddy, wanting my daddy. 

 

“Ahhhh ahhhh ahhhh.” I moaned and still it wasn’t enough I needed more. I needed my daddy. And then — I felt it.

 

A hard cock slipped passed my lips and I didn’t have to open my eyes to know. I knew. It was my daddy, he came back to me. I sucked him, I took him completely in my mouth and I sucked, hard. I sucked him, wanting the juice, wanting the milk, wanting to be his baby, his baby girl, sucking and fucking, humping my dildo until my pussy ached with soreness and pleasure, up and down. My hard breasts bounced and flapped with each movement. I sucked and I sucked my daddy’s dick. Wanting the cum, needing his love, his juice, his seed in my mouth, in my body, flowing into me, blessing me, making me whole.  ‘Oh Daddy fuck me, fuck my mouth, fuck it. Fuck it. I need it. Yes. Yes. Ohhhh yes.’ I pulled him in deeper with the power of my jaw.

 

Up and down I fucked. Deeper and deeper I sucked. In and out he fucked. And all the while my eyes remained closed. Oh what joy! I just enjoyed the moment, riding it, expanding it, nutting in small degrees over and over and over and… It was becoming too much again. I let him go, so I could breath, but he was still there. He gripped my head, bringing me back, his cock rubbing against my lips, gently smacking it against my face. Then suddenly he sank low and I felt him lean over me, against me, messing up my fuck vibe. He spread my legs wider, and up and...

 

Smack!

 

His cock smacked against my clit and I moaned, jerking as he smacked his cock again and again against my poor achy clit. Smacking it, slapping it again and again, harder and harder… pounding, pounding, pounding until I died, I fucking died. My heart stopped. I lost thought, memories, and reason. I saw nothing. I saw light. I came so hard my body clenched in pain. Every muscle in my body locked and I fell back crying from the pain, the force. My pussy clamped so hard on the dildo I thought it merged with me. And then I vaguely heard smacking noises above me. I opened my eyes. My daddy. My daddy was beating his dick, fast and furious, harder and harder. I couldn’t see anything but the blurr of his hand, and the bending of flesh that seemed straighter and harder than steel, but it bent just the same under the force of his strokes, smacking and smacking until a thick white line shot from the gaping hole and splashed on me, on my face, coating my face, my cheeks, my lips, my neck, my breasts. Juice was everywhere. Everywhere was covered with my daddy’s cum. I opened my mouth and caught what I could. I reached up and smeared the excess all over my face and made myself shiny. His scent was everywhere. I absorbed it; I sucked it off my fingers. I rubbed it into my nipples, pushing it in my skin where the milk was. Grinding still, humping still the plastic toy in my cunt as I ate and licked and loved.

 

Daddy slowly sank onto the floor in front of me, falling back against the bottom rails of the bed, breathing heavily. Looking at me, watching me rub his bodily fluids into my body. Watching. I sank down into the chair, tired, sleepy, watching him watch me. We didn’t say anything. We just looked into one another’s eyes. I don’t know how long we were like that. I suppose I could have looked at the clock, but…

 

“Get out.”

 

I froze. I stopped breathing. Tears were coming.

 

“It’s late. You need to go to bed. It’s not good for the baby and you have class tomorrow.”

 

I relaxed… well almost. Then after endless minutes, I pulled achy legs from beneath me. I pulled the fake cock out from my drying pussy. I winched as straining muscles disagreed with my actions. Leaning back, I pushed the chair back against the wall.  Standing, I continued to look down on him on the floor. I stood there for a moment, wishing I knew the right thing to say, the right way to be, but I didn’t.

 

“Good night, Daddy.”

 

“Good night, baby girl”

 

For a moment, things were almost normal. I picked up my robe. I didn’t even bother to put it back on and I left my parents room. I climbed back into bed and promptly fell out. I slept like a baby.

 

*****

 

 

Month Five

 

“You’ll have to take her to her doctor’s appointment. They called me in. They are understaffed. Three other nurses called in sick.”

 

“Can’t you just reschedule?”

 

Janet signed. “No, these appointments are scheduled way in advance. You know that. You had to pull strings to get her this particular doctor. Dr. Pearlmen is very busy and getting a new appointment is damn near impossible.”

 

A pregnant silence hung in the air.

 

“Honey. I don’t understand exactly what is going on with you but it really has to end.”

 

“What are you talking about? Nothing is going on.”

 

“Bullshit. You’ve barely said five words to that girl since she’s told us.”

 

“I’ve talked to her!”

 

“You don’t even visit her when you come home anymore to have one of your late night talks and it’s killing her. I see it in her eyes. She’s hurting, Paul. She doesn’t understand why you are doing this, and quiet frankly neither do I.”

 

Paul followed her to the door in silence.

 

“I know you feel like she’s let you down, but she’s our only baby and she’s in trouble. She’s scared and she needs us. She needs you, now more than ever. Can’t you see that?”

 

He helped her put on her coat. She reached up and kissed his cheek.

 

“Take her to the doctor. Sit with her. Talk with her. She needs you and whether you know it or not, you need her.”

 

*****

 

 

I slipped on my shoes when there was a knock at the door. “Yes, mom. I’m ready.”

 

The door opened and there was my dad. I just stood there, not understanding. “Your mom had to go in,” he said. “I’m taking you to the doctor.”

 

“Oh. Okay.”

 

“You ready?”

 

“Yes. I just need to get my coat.”

 

“I’ll be in the car.” He closed the door behind him.

 

It all was surreal. My heart began to beat faster. I went downstairs and pulled my coat out from the hall closet. I could see him through the window, sitting in the car, just sitting and staring ahead. I was scared.

 

I went out, locking the door behind me and got in the car.  He put the car in reverse and backed out into the street, then proceeded to drive down to the main road.

 

Silence.

 

Silence never seemed so loud. I reached out and turned on the heat. Gushes of air flooded the car with a harsh whirring sound. It was on high. I lowered it a little. “Sorry.”

 

“That’s fine.” And that was all. I looked at him from the corner of my eye, trying not to be too obvious. He stared straight ahead, no lefts or rights, except when making a turn. I might as well have not been there. I haven’t ‘been there’ in months. I think he knew I was staring. He reached over and turned on the radio and found a station. Hip-hop. He hates hip-hop, but knows I love it. I felt like crying. I knew what it meant. He wanted me to leave him alone. I turned away and stared out the window and watched the trees pass us by.

 

*****